182.6 Bored? With Food?

We just got home from having a wonderful dinner at The Arizona Biltmore, a grand hotel in Phoenix. We were with friends with whom we eat out about once a month, trying all sorts of restaurants that we hear about since we are all relatively new to the area.

Elaine and I were talking about favorite foods and I mentioned that I had noticed that she never eats all the food that is served to her. I was curious as to why this was the case. Was it a way to control her weight, did she just feel full a lot sooner than I did (!), or what was it all about? She laughed and said that she gets bored tasting the same food over and over. She gets bored! I had never ever even thought of not eating something on my plate because I was tired of the flavor. We are talking filet mignon, elegant fish dishes, and superb salads. Bored?

Yes, she is slender and loves food, just not very much of it at one time. I am thinking on this because it is a very novel idea for me to digest . (Sorry about that.) So I am wondering if I can incorporate this way of thinking as I head into maintenance. Bored, hmmm.

182.6 Aren't You Happy?

I get this question a lot and, of course, I am happy that I've been able to lose all of this weight, these 65 pounds. Of course I'm happy. Or am I?

Happiness isn't a number on a scale, or even reaching a goal. I can hear someone saying in my head that it's the journey, not reaching the destination, that provides the joy. Happiness comes in all sorts of sizes, colors, intensities, and sounds. And, it's not a static frame of mind. It ebbs and flows. But if losing 65 pounds doesn't make me happy, what does, what will?

I'm going to start paying close attention to when I feel happy and to what seems to spark this feeling, and work toward replicating it as often as possible. Is happiness the same as joy? Both of these states of mind are precious and so much better than wallowing around in a ho-hum frame of mind.

I seem to have an affinity for moving from joy and/or happiness into an old, blah place and when challenged about it, it dawned on me that that's a waste of life. It's like carrying a lot of weight around because you're used to it, it's familiar, and you're not willing to do anything about it. Now that I've gotten rid of so much weight, I'd like to feel that "lightness of being" that accompanies joy. I've been working on freeing myself of these old mind patterns while learning about food and me, and have made significant progress on all of these areas. When I replace the old mind set with the new, freer, more joyous me, it will be as big an accomplishment as losing every one of those pounds.

182.4 Can I Just Say...

(As I have been getting closer and closer to my goal weight of 170 pounds, I have started to do some other things to improve my appearance. As you faithful readers know, I recently had a botox treatment and today I had my teeth whitened.)

...that I had no idea it hurt so much to have your teeth whitened! No, it is not worth it! It burned while I was having it done even though the technician at the dentist's office was very attentive and added more of this and that to protect my gums. And, ever since I called a halt to the procedure because of the pain, my teeth have been aching. It's as if I have a mouthful of super sensitive teeth that won't stop yelling at me about just how sensitive they are.

They sent me home with all sorts of paraphernalia so I can continue the whitening process at home. I thanked them, all the while saying to myself that there is no way I will subject my teeth to this bleach process ever again. Oh, and on top of everything else, I can't drink coffee or eat berries for 2 days. Coffee and berries are what I live on every morning. Hello!

182.6 A New Look of Comfort Food

My weight's at another all time low! Now only 12 more pounds to go!

It's not even 9 AM and I'm writing this post. Usually, I don't get to it until much later in the day, but I am really excited to write this one. I woke up early and went out on the back patio to enjoy the beautiful morning and to look at a cookbook that our son and his family sent my husband for Father's Day. (Yes, healthy eating has become a family affair!) Perhaps you've seen it. It's title is Now Eat This, by Rocco Dispirito.

This cookbook is geared to folks who want to "have their cake and eat it, too". These are basically comfort food recipes for dishes like macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, even my favorite dessert, tiramisu. Working with a nutritionist, the author has come up with healthier, lower calorie versions of favorites. As he writes in the front of the book, "My goal for this book was to take the foods we love--no matter how bad they are for us--and make them healthy and flavorful, something I really want to eat." A couple nights ago Jeff made an absolutely delicious fish recipe, and I know I am going to want to prepare a lot of the recipes that are included in the book. One of the features I find motivating is that the author compares the calories and fat found in traditional recipes with those in his versions! He also explains why substituting things like whole wheat flour for white flour, using Greek yogurt rather than any other really makes a difference in the food value and encourages weight loss.

Since I haven't been eating desserts or many carbs except for fruit during this weight loss journey, I probably won't start eating them now. But I am thinking that once I reach my goal, I may use recipes in this cookbook to start adding a little more variety as I wend my way through the minefield called maintenance. As I was reading it, I kept wishing I had learned to cook with this cookbook years ago.

183.6 Finding The Real Me

Occasionally during the time I've been working with Jennifer we have made videos talking about my weight loss success. Yesterday we made the fourth one and it took a different turn than the others had. We didn't rehearse in any way this time since we had done the others. In the course of yesterday's video, Jennifer asked me how it felt to have lost all of the weight and how did it feel when I got compliments. To my surprise I talked about how hard it was because of my uncertainty about this new me in comparison to the fatter, old familiar me.

I had never really expressed it the way I did on the video and I think we were both surprised by what I said. This weight loss process isn't for sissies, I've decided. By taking the time to explore why I was eating so much and so often and then working on healing the causes of the overeating I've come a long way. But as yesterday's video shows, I'm still coming around to accepting my new look. Taking the weight off slowly has been an invaluable gift because I have become very different emotionally and spiritually as well as physically from the 247 pound gal who decided to find a clinical hypnotherapist to help with weight loss. Not only have I been losing the weight, but I've been finding the real me who was hidden for so long under all that fat! And, I'm not done yet. It's pretty exciting!

(Once the video has been edited, I'll add it to the blog.)

184.0 Kudos to Kathleen!

As you know, on the right side of my posts I list other websites and information for you to check out if you are interested. One of the sites is entitled Among The Savages and it is written by a very dear friend of mine who my daughter Miranda met while they were both attending Colby College. Kathleen just posted on her blog that she has finally reached her goal weight that puts her back where she was before she gave birth to her youngest son. Congratulations, Kathleen!

Kathleen has been one of my cheerleaders since I've been on this weight loss adventure, while trekking along on her own weight loss adventure. In her post today, she let on that she is disappointed that her figure is not the same as it was when she weighed the same amount in the past. Since I am 67, I've never dreamed my figure would be similar to when I weighed a lot less many years ago. Age does give us a little different perspective :), and although having a lovely figure is a blessing, being healthy and strong, agile and flexible are the real gifts of losing weight and exercising. She will have to continue her exercise and awareness about food forever if she wants to maintain her new weight, but having the knowledge that she achieved her goal will certainly give the confidence and will to continue so that she can maintain her goal weight! You did it, Kathleen, and I am going to do it, too!

Still no scale Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

I saw ANNIE, the musical at least twice on stage, and the movie a couple of times, also. I love the message of many of the songs, especially Tomorrow, and You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile!

I've been looking forward to a lot of tomorrows as I find myself trying new things (I just picked up my new iPhone, the iPhone4), and planning new things to accomplish. And, out of necessity, I've been buying new things which I always wear with a smile. It is really fun to wear things that I wouldn't have dreamed of being able to wear a year ago. I've lost about 40 pounds over the last year, obviously slowly, and if you've been reading my posts, not without riding a roller coaster of high expectations, experiencing frustration whenever I would get stuck at a seemingly arbitrary weight, and then being enlivened as the result of the joy of slowly chipping away at those numbers on the scale.

So we are back home, and tomorrow I'll be getting back on my dear scale. As you might have guessed, I did buy a couple of new things at the Chico's store in Prescott. It's good to be back home, and yes, I'm smiling!

no scale Size Matters!

Why yes, I did think the title of today's post would get some attention :). And, as I think about it, I'm surprised that title didn't come to mind sooner since this is a weight loss blog and size is one of the elements that obviously changes as weight is lost.

However, today I'm talking about elevation and how it affects exercise. We are spending a couple of days in Prescott, AZ, which is a lovely little town situated between Scottsdale and Flagstaff. The elevation of Prescott is 5300 feet, about double that of where we live in Scottsdale.

I went over to work out and my heart rate shot up a lot more quickly than it does at home. Even though I didn't work out as long as I usually do, I definitely feel like I have had a good workout.

I didn't bring my scale with me so don't know how much I weigh today, but I'm feeling more at peace about this whole process and know that once I get home and refocus I will continue to lose weight. I used to be so uptight about everything, and this new found faith and trust in myself that I can and will manage life and weight loss well is a real gift that has come out of connecting with my inner voice. I'm in a new place, a good, secure place and happy to be here.

184.0 5%, Only 5%?

I was watching the Today Show this morning and was delighted to see the segment about dieting with Dr. Nancy Snyderman. She and the nutritionist talked about the fact that only about 5%, yes 5%, of the people who lose weight are able to maintain their weight loss. The most important part of their message was that you have to make the commitment to lose weight because it matters to you rather than any other reason, and that it has to become a lifestyle rather than a short term diet. I smiled when Dr. Snyderman said she thinks the word diet is a 4 letter word.

After watching this, I immediately sat down at my computer and wrote a comment to Dr. Snyderman basically saying that I agreed with what she had said but that she didn't go far enough. Until you understand why you are using food to the extent you are so that you gain weight, you can't possibly take it off and keep it off long term. It's everything I have been blogging about during these past 10 months. And, it's what Geneen Roth speaks to in her book "Women, Food, and God". Permanent weight loss is not a matter of simply eating less and counting calories and exercising. If that were true, there would be a lot higher percentage of success stories out there of people losing and maintaining their weight loss. Let's hear it for self examination and understanding, healing that inner pain, and moving into the healthy person we are each meant to be.

184.4 It's Life, A Great Life!

We celebrated Father's Day yesterday at a very special restaurant so I'm not surprised by the bump up in weight today. As my sister said, and she always knows what to say to make me feel a little better, "Sue, the food was loaded with salt and sugar." And, I'm sure she's right!

When I do the cooking, which is most of the time, salt and sugar are not ingredients that I use with abandon. Tonight I'm making a pasta dish that Oprah's cook, Rosie, used to prepare for her. There is no salt or sugar in the recipe, only fresh tomatoes, garlic, lemon juice, chopped basil and angel hair pasta. I won't eat much of the pasta but I will enjoy every bite! Oh yeah, it also has a little white wine in it. And, I'll thaw out some shrimp to eat with it. I can hardly wait!

183.8 Getting Untangled

It's been fun, as I wrote yesterday, to see the weight dropping off after having been stuck so long between 188 and 185 pounds. I've written that maybe it was all about not eating before bed, and upping my exercise, both of which have been changes I've made. What I didn't talk about was a real change in attitude that has also been taking place within me. That change of attitude finally took hold even though I have been thinking about it, reading about it, and wanting it for quite awhile now. You know how sometimes you get all tangled up in your own stuff so you can't begin to move forward? That's where I've been, and I was so frustrated that I turned this lack of weight loss over such a long period of time into some mammoth issue.

So I took a deep breath, and a leap of faith that I could do this, that losing 15 pounds wasn't a big deal, and that by believing I could, I would, and look what happened. Letting go of excuses and embracing the power of believing in myself has been freeing and getting the results I wanted.

Hope you are having a great weekend. Ours just got better because the air conditioning repairman just left and cool air is once again moving through our house. Since it will be getting up above 100 degrees today, this is a good thing! Getting untangled has been a good thing, too.

183.6 Is This Fun Or What?

Is it all about giving up that bowl of fruit before bed? That bowl of very healthy food that I rationalized was so good for me that the added calories wouldn't count?

It's probably that and other factors, including more emphasis on exercise. I've just about doubled the time I am actively doing my water therapy exercises and I've upped my time on the Wii Fit Plus from about a half hour to forty-five minutes.

So now only 13 pounds to go. Keep going, Sue! Do it!

184.4 Only 14 To Go.

Well, today's weight was great to see. I've been stuck at 185 for so long, so I was thrilled to see the drop. My sister Priscilla and her husband Phil are visiting now. She has written great comments in response to many of my posts and has been just a super cheerleader throughout this process. She's managed her weight over the years extremely well with a lot of perseverance, unlike me. Whereas she should have won the perseverance award, I think I should have won a yo-yo championship somewhere along the way with all of my losses and then subsequent gains.

This time though, yo-yoing is not an option. I have worked too hard on understanding why I eat and other aspects of food and me to let that ever happen again. So I am re-energized to keep the weight coming off. After all, it is only 14 more pounds and I'll have reached my goal! Come on, Sue. Do it!

185.0 Dr. Suess and Me!

Yes, I am obviously stuck but I am not complaining. I think I have to knock off the fruit before bed every night. After reading Mindless Eating, I was reminded that too many calories, no matter what you are eating, are too many calories to allow for weight loss to occur.

When I first started working with Jennifer and listening to the hypnosis CDs that she recorded for me, I noticed that she would always say that I was "getting younger, getting healthier, and getting slimmer". Working with her and using hypnosis was of course taking a leap of faith that this step would help me start losing and achieving those things. Clearly, I have lost weight (the scale tells me so :)), and I have gotten slimmer (my clothes tell me so as well as the mirror), and now clearly I am healthier. Yesterday I heard from my doctor that all my levels are in the normal range after taking myself off the statin drug for high cholesterol two months ago. And, I do believe that I have gotten younger in my view of myself, and in the way others perceive me! Yesterday I had a pedicure and my toe nails are now a gorgeous shade of deep purple! I also had a botox treatment in the area between my eyes (yesterday was a big day!) and I'm all dressed up with lots of places to go. Writing this reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book "Oh, The Places You'll Go"! It just dawned on me that maybe I have become a little wacky?

Let's see if I can't kick the rest of this weight off! I wonder what I'll feel like then.

185.0 More Mindlessness!

I don't think I have ever copied a comment that I received for a particular post, but yesterday's post prompted a comment from a co-researcher of the author of Mindless Eating and I wanted to share it with you in case you are interested. No, I am not promoting his line of Thinware, although I think it is a great idea. Here's the comment:

"My team works with Dr. Brian Wansink, author of Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think. Besides the fact that Brian is a truly nice and funny man, he developed a line of "Thinware" which are dish sets created to Dr. Wansink's specific instruction for measurement and design to encourage less and better eating. There are a lot of cool gadgets and cues on the site as well that are fun and MINDLESS!

https://www.mindlessproducts.com/mindless-products/thinware

Watch the man himself in some short videos and see the products that we promote. It will be worth the time!"

So check it out if you are interested in learning more about the author and his products. I figure we can use all the help we can get as we change our thoughts, our minds, and, as importantly, our habits as we travel on this weight loss journey.

185.2 Mindful vs Mindless Eating

I mentioned that I was looking forward to reading the book called Mindless Eating. (http://susanlosingaweightlossadventure.blogspot.com/2010/06/1854-new-look-at-books.html). It arrived a few days ago and I find it hard to put down. It's filled with lots of research and probably more facts than I thought might be included but it's extremely well written and funny.

What I've come away with from reading this book is how much of what we eat is totally mindless. Also, I've learned that we are influenced by so many food cues that we aren't aware of that have tremendous potential to encourage mindless eating, such as the size of our bowls and plates, the size and shape of our drinking glasses, and even the size of the package, can, or bottle that our food comes in.

What makes this book entertaining is the very clever research that was done on how/what/why we eat what we eat. Although you might not think this sounds like good summer reading, it just might fill the bill for you. I'm really enjoying it and find myself becoming very mindful of lots of aspects of mindless eating.

185.0 Focusing on Exercise

I've really been focusing on the exercise element of this program because I know it's extremely important for me to keep moving both for burning calories and for keeping my arthritis from crippling me. Doctors have discovered that the best way to treat arthritis is to move, not sit around. And, I really love it.

I love the Wii Fit Plus, I love the feeling of accomplishment when I do the elliptical, and I love my water workout. I'm not a big fan of lifting weights, but thanks to my recent physical therapy I can do 3 reps of 15 lifting 4 pound weights. I know that's not very much, but when I started, two pound weights were hard for me to do. My short term goal is to move up to 5 pound weights.

So, I think it's time to drop another pound. I'm ready.

185.0 Been Shopping

Jennifer has been on my case to go shopping and buy something that is too small. I've had a hard time doing that partly because I am tightfisted with my money, and partly because I have so few clothes that fit me because of the weight loss. I am sure that I am the only woman in town who has empty space in her closet. So the idea of buying something I can't wear right away has been hard to wrap my charge card around.

But today I did it. I bought a pair of black dress pants that I can't zip up - can't begin to zip up, but my legs fit in them so I think that they will be perfect to wear when I celebrate reaching my goal of 170. My plan is that at least every 2 to 3 weeks I will try on those black dress pants and check in with them to see how I am doing.

Yeah, I did buy some stuff I can wear now, and what I figured out was that I was buying clothes recently that were almost too big. So today I bought snugger things and I like the way they feel. Wearing baggier things reminds me of when I was a lot heavier and wanted to conceal every bulge. I also have learned that when clothes have spandex, which is a good thing, they do stretch out at least a size larger within the first hour of wearing them. So I am sitting here in a tight pair of capris and a top that fits, shall we say, very well!


Life is good in Scottsdale and I am heading down to 184!

185.4 The Lure of a Nap

I just woke up from a very delicious nap! I slept for about an hour and a half. I should have written that I woke up from a very long, delicious nap. I always feel a little guilty when I take a nap, and so I rarely do... now. I used to suffer from severe depression and I devoted every afternoon to sleeping for long periods of time. Ever since that time (which was a long time ago now), I have connected naps with depression and guilt, and weight gain!

But today I was tired. I lifted weights and then did the elliptical for 25 minutes and then was just plain tired. I could write a long list of reasons why today it was okay to nap, but I won't. It doesn't matter, really. So, I've decided that I can take a nap now and then and just let it go. I won't go back to napping everyday. I've got too much to do and napping draws me away from staying aware, present and ALIVE! And, there is the matter of not burning very many calories while napping.

So now it's time for my water workout. That makes me feel very much alive!

185.0 What A Difference A Day Makes!

So there you go! Journaling, posting, writing stuff down really helps! And, cutting back on how much I was eating also helped! :)

This is going to be very short because we are off to see a production of The Patsy Cline Story. It should be fun and we know the music is great!

So happy weekend, everyone!

185.8 Yes! I'm Stuck Again

I thought I was going to be on a roll down the scale when I left the 188 lb. zone, but obviously I'm not. I have been thinking a lot about why/when I get stuck. I like to think it is very mysterious and out of my control. I make it all so much more complicated than it is. The fact of the matter is that the less I put in the old machine, me, the more my weight will drop. It isn't hard to think about, it's just hard to do.

I get hung up on things like am I getting enough nutrients. Well, hello, I have 185 pounds of nutrients to draw on. Everything about me except my weight is within a healthy range. I'm not anemic, not lacking energy, I sleep very well (thanks to my recent hormone adjustment), so what's up?

So I tell myself that with a little hunger and a lot of exercise I can lose weight. What is so darn hard about that? Um... doing it. DUH!

The real question becomes how much do I want to lose 15 pounds. If I can lose 60 pounds, I can lose 15 pounds. Let's see if I can't get my mind, body and spirit all on the same page and make this a reality. I'm not where I want to be on the scale, not how I want to look, and not how I want to feel. Looking hard at myself in recent pictures or in my new mirror, I want it!

185.8 Yum!

Sometimes when I am eating something yummy that I have designed (do you like that word?), I think that what I have come up with is so delicious I should pass it on to you all. So here are a couple of things I really enjoy eating. No, I will not repeat my wonderful recipe for salad greens with beans and fruit for breakfast!:)


Lately I have been treating myself at breakfast time to healthy grain toast onto which I spread a thin layer of peanut butter. Then I add fresh blueberries, blackberries, or pitted fresh cherries! Depending on the sweetness of the fruit, I may sprinkle a little sugar or sweetener on top of the fruit. The textures and tastes of the toast, peanut butter and berries are so much better than when jam or jelly are added and it is a lot healthier.

Another thing I do when I make a salad is to start with low fat salad dressing, usually Ranch or Blue Cheese, and then add balsamic vinegar to it. The proportion is up to you, but I probably use about 1/3 vinegar to 2/3s dressing. It makes the creamy dressing easier to disperse within the salad ingredients and less of the heavier dressing is used. And, I love the the combined flavors! Yum!

186.0 Changing Views

I have been thinking about how my view of myself has changed during this weight loss process or journey. When I started and was weighing in at a grand 247.7 pounds, my life was based on what I couldn't do. I couldn't walk far, I couldn't stand for long, I couldn't exercise, I couldn't travel with ease, I couldn't climb, I couldn't...well, you get the point. Back issues exacerbated by the weight played into how I viewed myself on a moment to moment basis. Life was pretty boring, limiting, flat, unexciting, and I had my share of self pity going on, also.

When I started working with Jennifer Scott (www.JScottHypnosis.com) to lose the weight, and had the back surgery that allowed me to move with less pain, I started changing the definition of myself. I became more like the "Little Engine That Could". I was more about I think I can... and as I lost more weight and took more chances on trying new things, to do things that I hadn't thought I could do, it became all about I can!

Now I am realizing that I am at a new point in my view of myself. I am ready to take on new challenges, an unknown future that will be limited only by my imagination. There's a certain glee about being 67 and writing this. I am not shutting down! I am more alive and open to possibilities than I have ever been. How cool is that!

185.8 Awareness = Gratitude

I've started taking better care of my face. About a week ago I wrote about the face lift conundrum and my decision to use better products rather than plunk out $$$$ for a face lift. So I did start using a product that promises to restore moisture, and replenish my skin with all sorts of things it is lacking overnight and during the day. I have also been taking the time to really apply make-up rather than my usual slap dab approach of nobody will notice anyway. So last night we were with our group that meets monthly and the question became, had I had a face lift since we had last met! Well it wasn't the most important question of the evening since this group meets to discuss all things spiritual and theological, but it was the question I could most easily expound on! Of course, the answer was no! But it did point out that a little effort and a little care can make a difference.


Maybe you'll think this is silly, but I am now becoming very attuned to the food I eat and can almost feel the vitamins and antioxidants that the fresh blueberries supply surging through my cells. The delicious taste and crunch of biting into a fresh cherry simply fills me with delight! And knowing that cherries have been found to lower belly fat and inflammation and cholesterol makes me so grateful that I can eat them. When I used to eat to numb my emotions or tune out whatever was bothering me at the moment I was never really focused on the taste, the texture, on the health giving properties of whatever I was eating. It was all about getting the emotional pain dulled. Mindless anything is empty whether it's eating, taking care of our bodies, or spending time doing whatever we like. Awareness, gratitude and appreciation all play into taking care of ourselves.

185.4 A New Look at Books!

I have just added something new to this blog, a way for you to go directly from the post to learn more about books that I mention.

Recently I wrote about Geneen Roth's book entitled Women, Food, and God. Several of you have bought this book and from what I'm learning, have found it to be quite fascinating and full of good ideas to think about and possibly put into practice. I know I have some new ways of thinking about food and when/what I eat since reading it.



And yesterday as I was driving through our gorgeous desert, I heard an interview on the radio about the new book Mindless Eating. So much of what I have posted in this blog has been all about being aware and eating mindfully. This sounds like a great book and I am looking forward to delving into it.



If you are interested in learning more about the books I cite in this blog, all you have to do is click on the image of the book, and Amazon.com will take it from there. And, if you have some ideas for books that you think might be helpful for the faithful on this blog, please let me know. (I am not in the business of selling books, but if you order through this blog I do get a little kickback, and obviously will appreciate it.)

Hope you are having a great weekend.

185.8 Awareness

I write a lot about awareness while I'm eating, about what I'm eating, how fast I'm eating, and how my body/hunger level is doing while I'm eating.
















This morning, I got caught being extremely unaware. No, not about food, but about my surroundings. Living here in the desert has caused me to be much more alert to where I am in space when I am near the many cactus plantings in our yard, or when I go walking. Since balance is one of my issues, I have to be careful not to lose it while walking by one of the beautiful or not so beautiful cacti that seem to be every where out here.

As I was finishing dead-heading a large geranium plant I backed right into this cactus! Suddenly I was very aware of that plant and very aware that I had been stabbed in my arm. One thing I didn't know until recently is that you can get terrible infections if a cactus needle breaks the skin. Oh, it did break the skin and that area is now covered with antibiotic ointment.

So, I have a new respect for awareness! (Sometimes I wish there was an ointment I could apply when my food/eating awareness gets away from me!)

185.8 Thank You For The Music

I just came in from my pool workout. I didn't get in the pool until about 5:30, but you know, when it's 100 degrees and only 6% humidity, it doesn't matter that it is fairly late in the day for me to do my water workout. The water is warm, the sun is shining, my flowers are blooming and it is heavenly!

I made a new list of tunes on my iPod to listen to while I do the workout. I did use selections from Mamma Mia and what I am finding is that I work out longer and harder when I have the music I love coming at me from my little ear buds. I find myself singing...out loud, very loud since I can't really hear myself. Yesterday Jeff came out and said he could hear me in the house with the doors and windows closed. It's sort of embarrassing since we live very close to our neighbors, but I'm not toning it down until they mention it. I think it's funny. But if you heard me sing, maybe it's not funny, just loud!



Anyway, I am really happy today and so happy to have this weight moving off of me!

186.0 The Power of ...

It just dawned on me that I hadn't written my post for today, so here goes1 When I got up and weighed myself this morning, happily I was back down to 186.0. Thank goodness! Then I went for a fast 40 minute walk, went to the bathroom (I don't know how else to say this), got on the scale and weighed 185.6!

I am so excited to finally see 185 on my scale. The title of this blog includes the words "a weight loss adventure", and sometimes I refer to it as an amazing journey. It's getting more amazing all of the time as I am now integrating the idea that the more I believe that I can do this, the easier it will be. Today I am a huge believer!

186.8 I Don't Know!

I saw the movie Crazy Heart a few months ago and immediately bought the CD. My favorite song is entitled "I Don't Know" and my favorite line is, "Where does the wind go? Baby, I don't know". Well, I don't know why my weight is messing with me like it is so I'll leave it at that for today, and entertain you with what happened when I consulted with an aesthetician this morning about my wrinkle issues.

After giving her a brief run down on my visits to cosmetic surgeons, eyelid specialists, etc., she graciously shared with me the different procedures that were available, performed by the dermatologist. After listening to all of this and hearing the prices (!), etc., I said, "So, if you were me, what would you do?" She smiled and said she would have a face lift! So there you go! I am back on that merry go round but have decided to spend some money on good facial products instead of procedures for the time being. I don't know!

186.0 Can 185 Be Far Behind?

Finally, a new all time low! What changed? I started eating less and I am trying hard to "listen" to my body about when I have had enough. This has been hard for me to pay attention to. I think I am distracted by: how much is left of my plate, will I literally die from hunger pangs if I don't "eat enough", since I exercised a lot I should eat more. Oh, and I am only having salad with salmon or chicken in it so shouldn't I be able to eat a lot more? And the familiar, I have lost 60 pounds so maybe I have lost enough?

No, I haven't lost enough. That new full length mirror has taught me that, and no, I am not consumed with being a perfect size anything. But fat is fat and when I see the collections I am still wearing (these are not fashion collections as seen on some Parisian runway), that is evidence enough. And, my doctors have encouraged me to lose more so this is not all in my head.



This was taken in mid April when I weighed 188. Jennifer has encouraged me to use smaller plates when I serve myself to help me understand the importance of eating less, to get a better visual picture of what that means! So using visual cues, checking in with how I feel as I am eating, staying aware and conscious of what I am eating and enjoying every bite, and keeping my goal in mind, I am on the road again!