172.2 A Dear Bob Letter

Today I received a note from a friend who asked me to share my diet with him. This is probably way more than he expected, but it forced me to clarify how I did lose these 80 pounds by responding to his request. Here's my post weight loss view of how I did it.

"Dear Bob, It was great to hear from you! I'd love to share some basic ideas with you. My success was not based on a quick weight loss diet or special products. I had to figure out why I was overeating and I learned to change a lot of my behaviors around food. So, if you're still with me, here we go!

First of all, don't view this as a diet. To be successful over time (especially at our ages) this is a life style change that will be yours for the rest of your life. Once you reach your goal weight, you can ease up a bit, but you will never want to return to your old ways, because you are going to feel so much better and look better.

Okay, so where do you start?

Start by eating one-half the amount you now eat. In other words, don't cut out all of your favorite foods and then feel deprived, just eat less. Serve yourself the half amount and then no second helpings.

Consciously eat much more slowly so that your plate isn't cleaned while Dorli still has lots left to eat. Try to eat more slowly than she does so that doesn't happen. Also, by eating more slowly, you will begin to enjoy your food more, the tastes, the textures, etc., and you'll give your body and brain a chance to get into sync about feeling satisfied.

Learn, if you don't already know, what a healthy list of foods consists of. So, when you do feel hungry, you turn to something on that list to stave off hunger pains. For example, always have raw carrots, apples, berries, sugarless gum (a big favorite of mine for night hunger), etc., so that you don't have to go around feeling hungry. And drink lots of water...between 50 and 70 ounces a day in addition to coffee, etc.

And now the biggie...think about cutting back on the alcohol. I ended up not drinking at all during the period of weight loss. I was drinking about 18 - 20 oz. of wine most nights. What I learned was that if I drank at all, it weakened my resolve and I'd give into more wine and then eat what ever and all I wanted to eat. I'm sure that lots of folks could just cut back and stay in control of their food choices and food intake.

And, there are some foods you really have to think about cutting way back on and those include cheese (oh, I hate to say it, but it is so full of fat), beef, and starchy veges at night - potatoes and corn.

Push fish, chicken, salad with little bits of dressing, and non-starchy veges. I would eat 2 or more servings of green veges at dinner time as insurance against feeling hungry before bed. And yes, put a little butter on those veges, make things taste good, but stay AWARE of all that you eat. Aware is the big word in all of this.

Maybe you didn't expect this long note, but I really want to share my ideas with you. I think you'll find that once you break the habits that aren't healthy, and find new foods you really enjoy (mine was/is spinach - who knew?), you'll enjoy your meals and have success.

Oh, one more thing that is hard and not usually recommended, but that is to weigh yourself at the same time everyday wearing the same thing (your birthday suit is perfect). Yes, your weight naturally fluctuates, but staying aware of where you are everyday will be motivating and give you information. As my wt. loss therapist always said the weigh in process is not judgmental, it's for information. And when you see that you've lost you will feel great and motivated to stay aware during the coming day. And if you see that you've gained, you will be motivated to stick with it so that you can experience the joy of success when you see your weight go down a bit.

If you have any questions about any of this let me know, and if you like, we could stay in email conversation as you move forward.

Love and best wishes for success."

170.2 Can I Help?

A dear friend of mine just emailed me and among other things mentioned that she lost 25 pounds and has put most of it back on. She asked me if I could help her! I am delighted to be asked and look forward to working with her long distance. Now this is exciting!

no scale Getting It Back

No, not gaining it back :)... I don't like to talk about how I used to be, too often, but sometimes something happens and I get struck by how different I am now compared to about two and a half years ago when I couldn't walk or stand for more than about 5 minutes.

I had had a spinal fusion surgery in 2003 that I consider a total failure. I had another less invasive spine surgery in late 2008 and that was the miracle surgery. Laser Spine Institute had just opened a surgical center in Scottsdale and I went for it. It totally changed my life because I could walk without the pain that I had lived with for five years.

And, by that time I was working with Jennifer Scott (jscotthypnosis.com) on weight loss and spiritual awareness so that I had started losing weight. All this is leading up to the fact that today I hiked with the family and had a great time. Our three kids and their partners joined us at Bretton Woods in the White Mountains of New Hampshire for a family vacation and I was not going to be left out. We hiked almost straight up - the terrain was much like the hills of Cortona - for about a mile and then headed back, almost straight down. Down was trickier than up due to loose rocks and lots of tree roots, but I did it. Our kids were remembering when I was using canes and a walker so it was a great moment for us all.

I know the weight loss has played into my "getting it back" tremendously and I am just so grateful that I have been able to do this. I read and re-read the Geneen Roth book, Women, Food and God and find so many ideas in it that correspond to what I have learned working with Jennifer. Figuring out and separating physical hunger from emotional hunger seems key to making the changes necessary for losing the weight and keeping it off over time. What a gift to be able to enjoy this time.

184.0 5%, Only 5%?

I was watching the Today Show this morning and was delighted to see the segment about dieting with Dr. Nancy Snyderman. She and the nutritionist talked about the fact that only about 5%, yes 5%, of the people who lose weight are able to maintain their weight loss. The most important part of their message was that you have to make the commitment to lose weight because it matters to you rather than any other reason, and that it has to become a lifestyle rather than a short term diet. I smiled when Dr. Snyderman said she thinks the word diet is a 4 letter word.

After watching this, I immediately sat down at my computer and wrote a comment to Dr. Snyderman basically saying that I agreed with what she had said but that she didn't go far enough. Until you understand why you are using food to the extent you are so that you gain weight, you can't possibly take it off and keep it off long term. It's everything I have been blogging about during these past 10 months. And, it's what Geneen Roth speaks to in her book "Women, Food, and God". Permanent weight loss is not a matter of simply eating less and counting calories and exercising. If that were true, there would be a lot higher percentage of success stories out there of people losing and maintaining their weight loss. Let's hear it for self examination and understanding, healing that inner pain, and moving into the healthy person we are each meant to be.