175.2 Keeping It Simple

You know, it's funny how things work out. A lot of folks have asked me about the weight loss and I tell them basically about eating less and upping the exercise. I never know who is really listening and is serious about trying it. This morning one of my friends told me she'd lost 9 pounds in the past two months doing just that...nothing fancy, not a lot of rules, but spiced up with discipline. (If someone asks me about how I did it who has a lot of weight to lose, I do tell them about the accompanying therapy including the hypnosis that I relied on to help me succeed in making the mental changes that I needed to make.)

After this recent "travel weight gain", I'm taking some of my own medicine - eating less and upping the exercise.

So out to the pool for my water workout. I already walked about 3 miles today so all is well. Have a great weekend.

175.4 A Timely Conversation

One of my good friends who had lost a lot of weight recently told me that she is eating out of control. She described her weight loss as one during which she felt very deprived and she just can't sustain it any longer.

We talked about how factors such as gray weather, illness, and the resulting lack of exercise caused by the illness all contribute to a feeling of depression and then wanting to eat to feel better. She said she's rereading Geneen Roth's book Women Food and God to help inspire her. And I suggested putting notes in the pantry, a way of planting reminders that really helped me during my weight loss. I still have one hanging in my pantry that tells me I'm doing great, but to eat an apple rather than anything in the pantry :).

And if you read my post from yesterday you realized that I was feeling rather down about maintaining the weight loss, so having this conversation on the heels of writing that post was very timely. I do feel better today. I had a good night's sleep and the sun is shining. I've already walked with my friend and will do my water workout this afternoon before I head out for a meeting. I've also invited my friend to come visit me to enjoy the sunshine. I hope she'll come soon. And I hope you are having a great day.

175.6 So, Today I'm Tired

I'm tired of being good around food I told Jeff. I'm tired of wanting to drink wine and eat and eat and at the same time not really wanting to do that. I think I am in a serious state of conflict, and, I'm tired.

I woke up a lot during the night, and stayed awake after waking up at around 5 AM. And I had to have a fasting blood draw at 8:30 this morning and then I had to teach at PVCC and then go back down to tutor the Japanese businessman late this afternoon. There's a lot of driving involved when you live a half hour from everything, especially when you are tired.

So tonight, I'll have a healthy dinner cooked by dear Jeff and be in a much better frame of mind in the morning. I'm never at my best when I'm tired.

175.6 Susan's Gainin' !

But it's okay, I'm telling myself. We spent ten days in Boston eating out often twice a day and so I'm actually experiencing a great sense of relief that I didn't gain more. And I feel like I know what to do to get back down in the 170 range. I think that this is how my life will be now...enjoying my vacations, and eating out with friends and family and then getting right back on track. Last night it was chicken and spinach and fresh berries. Not too shabby, and oh so healthy.

We had a great time in Boston, seeing our family and friends, many of whom we hadn't seen since Miranda's wedding. Today I'm feeling so much gratitude for the friends in my life and my dear family.

174.6 A New Attitude!

I just passed my online driver's course and test! It was a great review of all of the rules and facts about driving in Arizona and in general. So maybe being stopped for speeding was a blessing instead of an expensive curse (over $400). Very few car repairs and/or hospital bills/funeral expenses would be less than $400. Isn't there a song about having a new attitude? I think I just got one!

We are off to Boston for about a week to see family and friends so I won't be posting regularly! "See" you later.

174.6 You Never Know!

I forgot! I totally forgot about my blog today and now it's after 9 pm! This post may take the prize for being latest to go up. But it's been a crazy, good day. A lot is going on and to be honest, I've been working hard doing an internet course to fulfill my driving citation obligation! That sounds pretty fancy for having to go to traffic school for speeding! But now you can do it online which is more convenient than spending 5 hours in a hotel function room.

I've just come from a gathering of absolutely wonderful people who have become treasured friends. When we moved out here 5 years ago we thought we were going to be giving up a lot for some great weather and a chance for Jeff to play a lot of golf. What we didn't expect was the opportunity we've had to meet such caring, intellectual stimulating, and interesting, fun people that our lives are now filled with. I've said it before:). You never know!

174.2 Wonderful Response, Great Friend!

One of the many things I've learned is that you don't always know what another person is thinking, or how they view you or others. I have really appreciated all of the encouragement in the form of comments, emails, etc. This morning I received the following email from a very good friend that I've known for about 35 years and was filled with gratitude when reading her message. Here's what she wrote:

That is a great video, Sue. It was too short, but it was really good. I know you are pleased with the results of all the time and work spent on losing the weight. I'm used to seeing you as you are now, so it was a surprise to see those "before" pictures that are painful to you. For me, I'm happy that you are happier being back to the thin person you used to be, but as a good friend, I love you no matter what your weight. Your weight never even "weighed" in to our friendship from my point of view.

Thanks, JoAnne. Thanks for reminding me about what really matters between friends.

173.4 Seeing Is Believing!

Well, yesterday was my big day! It's amazing how much energy was expended for a 4 minute segment on TV. If you cut and paste this address you can see Jennifer Scott and me discussing hypnosis and my 80 pound weight loss.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_58Ru__xNo

I thought it was good. Obviously I might have said things differently, etc., if I could do it over again. But who was that really fat woman whose pictures were shown while I was talking? I did send those before pictures to the station to use, but I had never seen them on a 52" screen like we have at home. Yikes! And what if I had never lost that weight, never experienced feeling so much healthier, younger and happier? What if I had settled, just sort of stayed the same?

I really hope that this TV appearance will help inspire others to lose weight and change their lives! Thank you Jennifer for your patience, your support, your hypnosis expertise, and your wisdom. Thank you.

174.0 So Much Younger

I just returned from getting my hair colored. I've been going to the same hair stylist for at least five years now so she's seem me at my largest and she's seen me about once a month since I started losing weight. So of course today I had to tell her about my TV appearance tomorrow that will probably last about 3 and a half minutes! But here's what she said that really pleased me. "Not only do you look a lot thinner, YOU ARE SO MUCH YOUNGER!"

Losing weight for me hasn't been all about how I look, although that has certainly been a big part of it. But I do feel younger, and I know I'm healthier. I no longer need drugs for high cholesterol, my blood pressure is quite low, and I'm no longer a risk for diabetes. I wonder what I'll say tomorrow and what I'll be asked.

I probably won't post anything on this blog tomorrow because after the TV appearance I'm off to a big dinner event. So check back on Friday, and wish me luck.

173.8 Reality vs Something Magical

First I want to thank those who posted comments in response to yesterday's post. I really appreciate the support and caring reflected in the comments.

Well, my weight popped up again, a little. But I had a little wine and ate a little low calorie, low salt popcorn and there you have it. What I have to understand is that I have to pay attention, all the time.

I was out to lunch (some might say I'm always out to lunch!) today with some friends and shocking as it may seem, the conversation turned to weight issues. Actually, I didn't bring it up and I try not to bring that topic of conversation up when I am with my friends. But anyway, what I heard myself saying and I know to be true is that slender healthy women are always watching what they eat and that's why they are slender and healthy. It's a no-brainer except for those of us who think that something magical has happened in their lives so they don't have to pay attention.

After lunch I headed over to my nail place and had, as my daughters say, a mani and a pedi. I can't possibly be on TV without doing that:). Yes, I am getting excited! Thursday is the big day.

173.2 Upside Down and Crazy

Two of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer during the past 4 weeks, and I’m worrying about whether I’m gaining or losing 2/10th to 4/10th of a pound. It all seems so upside down and crazy.

173.2 Imagining and Asking

Once in a while, my walking buddy and I end up at our golf course grill for breakfast. And once in a while, we do that instead of walking, but only if it is really cold! Yes, I'm laughing because we are soooooo spoiled, so that what seems cold to us may not seem cold to many of you. But anyway, when we sit down, Linda is immediately served ice tea because every server there knows what she likes. And, they are beginning to know what I like! I like one or two egg beaters, scrambled and then mixed with portobello mushrooms, fresh tomatoes and fresh spinach that have been grilled. It's beautiful, tasty, filling and very healthy! It's not on the menu yet, but there is conversation that they may add it. (Click on the photo and it will get larger and look even more delicious!)

The servers at the grill are willing to make substitutions, etc., and so I just started asking about possibilities and voila! But isn't that what life is about on some level? Imagining, asking about the possibilities and then finding out if you like it or not. I love this breakfast!

173.2 Little Things + Joy

I know this is really odd, but that shouldn’t surprise any of my readers☺. As I told Jeff after trying on my latest purchase, I am filled with joy because I can wear clothes that I can buy at Costco! Yes, I do shop at much more high end stores, but there is something about getting a great buy at Costco that looks good and fits well that excites me. Is that like being a cheap date? Whatever! It’s a real spirit lifter for me as is the fact my weight is continuing to slowly drop back to my new normal of 170!

Hope you are having a great weekend. It's gray, dark and gloomy here which means I have to work a little harder than usual to stay emotionally up! Maybe it's time for a nap? :)

173.8 At Last!

You know, you never know. I know I have used that line in several of my posts, and again it has become extremely appropriate. When I started this amazing weight loss adventure back in February of 2008, and when I started my blog in August of 2009, I wasn't planning on being on TV. But Jennifer Scott (www.jscotthypnosis.com) received a call from our local ABC station to talk about her work with hypnosis. She's invited me to appear with her on the program Smart Family in about a week.

What's really funny to me is that all my life I have been waiting to be discovered. At UCLA I was very quiet and never told anyone that, as I walked the streets around the campus, I was waiting, expecting to be discovered.:) How and why I was worthy of being discovered was never made clear to me, but it was an active dream of mine. Since that didn't happen then, I gave up on that dream and although it's been a joke between Jeff and me, I rarely have thought about my desire to be discovered way back then.

So now when I'm 68 years old, I finally get to appear on TV. Am I nervous? OMG yes! Am I excited? Of course. And, I have to seriously lose a couple more pounds. Over the past few days I have increased my water drastically because I haven't been feeling very well, and look what happened. So I'm pushing the water and doing all the right things, and hope to be looking good and sounding somewhat articulate on the big day.

174.6 Ms. Cellophane

Jeff and I went to a local theater revue that was quite wonderful last weekend. One of the songs that was presented was Mr. Cellophane from the movie Chicago. I loved that song when I saw Chicago and I loved hearing it again the other night even though it is a very sad song. At various time in my life I have definitely felt like Ms. Cellophane, totally invisible and ignored.

Before the weight loss I felt that way most of the time, and part of the joy of changing and becoming more slender is that now I feel visible, more visible than I have in a long time. It's little things like people chatting me up in the grocery store or airport or wherever. I'm sure that part of it is the fact that I like myself better and so maybe appear more open than I did when I was hiding behind all of that fat. Whatever it is, it's a good feeling to be visible.

175.0 Taking Baby Steps

I wrote yesterday that I have been spoiled over the last year or so because my back has been so strong and without problems. I do go to the chiropractor almost 3 times a week to keep myself in alignment as much as possible, and I do get therapeutic massages a couple times a month. So I am taking care of my back but it's also been taking good care of me. After yesterday's episode, I'm not sure when I'll get my next therapeutic massage. My hunch is that my back was already a little compromised when I went yesterday and the massage just put me over the top.

So today I am doing better. But what about exercise? I think a take some short walks and see how I do. That sounds smarter than jumping on the elliptical or doing the Wii Fit. Remember the movie What About Bob and taking baby steps? I think today is a good day for baby steps.

175.0 Not Going Anywhere Fast!

I wasn't able to attach a comment that my brother-in-law Phil wrote in response to my speeding ticket post of yesterday. He wrote that it probably wasn't appropriate for him to say "Go, Suse!". That really makes me laugh because that was definitely my frame of mind as I was flying down the road yesterday.

Right now I'm not flying anywhere. After a great morning, I went to see my massage therapist and now I'm having trouble with my back. It will probably be fine by morning, but I've been pretty spoiled lately because my back hasn't given me any trouble and so I'm sort of freaked out by the situation. As a result of all this I canceled our dinner plans with friends and I'm getting reacquainted with my favorite ice pack and moving around the house very slowly and carefully. Ah, here's to a better tomorrow!

175.0 Not A Great Day!

You know, today was just not a great day. I didn't feel very well and had no idea what I was going to write about today. I actually took a short nap because I felt so yucky and I had to teach my new tutoree. He's a young businessman from Japan who speaks quite well but wants to improve his fluency. It's been quite a challenge for me because I've never tutored one on one like this. So after my nap, I felt better, and actually had the best session that we've had (our 5th). When it ended at 6 pm I jumped in the car and headed for home. To be honest, I was racing home to make dinner. I'm using the word racing loosely here. I think I was in hypnosis! I had no idea I was speeding, but once I saw the flashing lights behind me I had that sinking feeling that I had been driving a little faster than usual. I was stopped for going 50 in a 30 mile an hour zone. What was really funny was that the policeman was so nice. He asked me if I knew why he had stopped me in a real chatty voice so I responded that perhaps I was going a little fast. I smiled and he smiled. We both smiled and then he didn't smile anymore. And I got a ticket. I don't know yet how much I am going to owe the glorious City of Scottsdale since I have to go online to get that information.

But wait! I just read the "complaint" carefully and I think they have the wrong woman. It says in big numbers that I weigh 200 pounds! That is not me, even after a night at P. F. Changs! And it probably wasn't me when when I filled out the information on my driver's license application because I usually pared down my weight in situations like that. I probably weighed closer to 220, not 200. Do you think I can get out of this ticket because they have out dated/wrong information? I don't think so either!

176.4 If I Could, I Would

Sometimes I wonder just what I am thinking, or how is it that I don't bother to think at all! Yesterday I ate very sensibly, healthily, with all good intentions of getting my weight back into the very low 170 pound range. Then I decided that going to P. F. Chang's for dinner sounded like a great idea. But you can't go there and not eat food that contains sodium, no matter what you order. And high sodium for me means weight gain. What's really funny/pathetic is that the guy sitting next to me at the bar ordered soup (loaded with sodium) and then poured about half a bottle of soy sauce into it. And then he ordered a thick saucy dish on which he poured the remaining soy sauce. As I'm watching this, I'm thinking to myself that he's killing himself with all the salt/sodium! I wanted to nicely tell him that, but in my wisdumb didn't say a word :). And now Miss Goody Two Shoes is up two pounds after eating what I thought was "controlled":) sodium.

If I could cry, I would cry at this weight gain. What was I thinking?

174.2 Old Ladies

The older I get, the fewer old ladies I know. One of my dear and very young Facebook friends related that she didn't like Aqua Net hairspray because it smelled like old ladies. After recoiling from the blow, not that I have ever used Aqua Net, I started thinking about old ladies and what Aqua Net must smell like. And then it came to me that as I get older my peers and women older than I do not seem old at all. Oh, we may look a little older than we did a while ago, but our hearts and minds and spirits are not old. And, I don't think we smell old. I think I'll let this one go. :)

174.4 Could It Be? The Peanut Butter Saga

So I am feeling like I am back in charge. I don't know who was in charge as my weight crept up, but I think that that's what unconscious eating is all about. This morning it dawned on me that yesterday was the first day in a long time that I managed to not eat any peanut butter. So you are thinking what was she doing eating peanut butter?! Well, I thought I could eat it on my Ezekiel bread toast for breakfast in the morning. And I could do that if that had been the only time during the day I ate peanut butter. But, I started spreading it a little thicker and a little thicker over time. And then it turned into a very delicious snack to eat in the late afternoon when I began to feel hungry, and/or just before bed, and since I wasn't eating it on anything, I could eat more of it. Well I can't!

So, now I am going to try to be more aware of other foods where the unconscious eating mode has taken over. This maintenance world is tricky, a lot trickier than the losing phase because options become greater in number and in amount. Maybe I should have joined the circus. Balancing on a tightrope seems easier than figuring all of this out.