183.0 Can I Just Say...?

Can I just say that sometimes I am blown away by experiencing life, my life. I think that I "know what to expect", if not control much of it, and today I was reminded that things happen that I never expected.

Today is Thursday, my ESL teaching day, and as I was walking away from the classroom toward my car I was filled with such gratitude that I know these people and have a chance to interact with them every week. I wish I could introduce them to all those who might question why I do this.

I've written about having each of the students embark on a challenge of their choosing each week. Today I learned that one of the men with his two sons hiked down to the floor of the Grand Canyon and then back up all in the same day. He laughed as he told us that one of his sons still thinks he was crazy to want to do that. A woman in the class is a swimming instructor and is teaching a deaf 13 year old how to swim. The young girl is not only deaf but was terrified of the water, and my ESL student had her calmly floating in the pool. One of my challenges is trying to keep up with these magnificent folks!

I'm into my second day of writing everything down - so far so good!

Remembering and Acknowledging Change - It's Hard!

As one of my friends wrote, this has been a very bittersweet time for us. Spending that wonderful time with our daughters, Jud, Scott, and little Zuzu was so much fun. As a family, we all get along so well and really enjoy being together. I'm so glad we were able to spend that time in Bar Harbor with the fam!

Attending the memorial service for our friend was hard. The service was very nice and it was good to see JJ's wife and family and the friends that we had in common. When we arrived in LA, we drove around UCLA for old times' sake. But nothing is ever the same and I always want it to be. (And the sun wasn't shining - in my mind's eye it was always sunny at UCLA!) UCLA has grown and the old UCLA Med Center where I worked to help put myself through school is no longer standing. The Medical Center is now many centers and that original building has been replaced. Westwood, the "village" of LA where UCLA stands is nothing like I remember it. There are high rises where my favorite coffee shop was, and the shops are very different. We then drove out to Pacific Palisades to stay with my dear friend Barbara (from UCLA days) and her husband Fred. Barbara and I have known each other since 1961! Now that's a long time. We had a great visit with them, as usual.

177.0 Bottling Happiness

I wish I could bottle the feelings of happiness I have today. There are lots of reasons for this joy I feel, including the presence of this new little granddaughter in our lives. I've been thinking about something new to do with my life. Maybe bottling happiness would be a great, new venture for me.

I wish happiness to you all today and forever. I know... if wishes were horses then all would ride! Let's go riding!

176.6 Staying With The Program

I subscribe to a program called Lumosity (www.lumosity.com) that is a brain training site. When I first started it my score was very low, so low I won't even think about revealing it! But over time I had gained over 600 (!) points and was feeling competent! With all of the recent traveling, I fell off the Lumosity wagon and just didn't do it.

Today I went back to it and had lost ground in every category. It really proves that no matter what you are trying to achieve, practice and staying with the program is essential. How is it that I wander so far away from what I know is good for me? That wonderful word discipline just popped into this rather lackadaisical brain of mine. Discipline in weight loss, exercise, brain training, and other areas where improvement is desired is key! I really get it now!

174.0 So Much Younger

I just returned from getting my hair colored. I've been going to the same hair stylist for at least five years now so she's seem me at my largest and she's seen me about once a month since I started losing weight. So of course today I had to tell her about my TV appearance tomorrow that will probably last about 3 and a half minutes! But here's what she said that really pleased me. "Not only do you look a lot thinner, YOU ARE SO MUCH YOUNGER!"

Losing weight for me hasn't been all about how I look, although that has certainly been a big part of it. But I do feel younger, and I know I'm healthier. I no longer need drugs for high cholesterol, my blood pressure is quite low, and I'm no longer a risk for diabetes. I wonder what I'll say tomorrow and what I'll be asked.

I probably won't post anything on this blog tomorrow because after the TV appearance I'm off to a big dinner event. So check back on Friday, and wish me luck.

173.8 Reality vs Something Magical

First I want to thank those who posted comments in response to yesterday's post. I really appreciate the support and caring reflected in the comments.

Well, my weight popped up again, a little. But I had a little wine and ate a little low calorie, low salt popcorn and there you have it. What I have to understand is that I have to pay attention, all the time.

I was out to lunch (some might say I'm always out to lunch!) today with some friends and shocking as it may seem, the conversation turned to weight issues. Actually, I didn't bring it up and I try not to bring that topic of conversation up when I am with my friends. But anyway, what I heard myself saying and I know to be true is that slender healthy women are always watching what they eat and that's why they are slender and healthy. It's a no-brainer except for those of us who think that something magical has happened in their lives so they don't have to pay attention.

After lunch I headed over to my nail place and had, as my daughters say, a mani and a pedi. I can't possibly be on TV without doing that:). Yes, I am getting excited! Thursday is the big day.

173.4 Living The Loss

Sometimes I feel a little odd because people will talk about how difficult it must have been/was losing all that weight and I have trouble remembering it. I have trouble remembering what I looked like when I was really heavy. And when I was really heavy I had trouble imagining how I would look when I lost my 80 pounds.

Well, today I went to get my hair cut and colored (shocking I know), and my hair stylist is one of the few people who has seen me high and seen me low! She lived the loss over the 2 and a half years with me, seeing me once a month. And, every time I see her now, she looks at me and says she still is amazed by the difference.

So when I get down on myself about a few pounds, I need to remember that what I did was a big deal and that there is no way I ever want to return to that heavy weight, and it doesn't really matter how well I remember all that transpired as I lost the weight. I just need to know that I'm not getting up there again.

172.8 Another Who Knew Moment!

I used to be more fashion conscious! Not that I always dressed like I knew what the latest in look was. I often knew what it was 3 months into the new look, but that didn't mean I rushed out to buy "the new look".

However, I've been totally caught off guard with the new look in men's suits. I hope you are laughing and wondering why I would even care, but lately I've been feeling really sorry for this new guy on our local news station. He looks like he's wearing a suit from 10 years ago that looked great when he was 30 pounds lighter. It's tight in the arms and tight around the middle and he does wear it buttoned in front. So, as I am watching him, I'm thinking that he finally got a job and can't afford a new suit. I was also thinking that maybe I could help him lose a little weight so his suit would fit better.

But this morning in our Wall Street Journal came the WJS Fashion Magazine and this is the new look! Can this be for real? And the trousers are tight in the legs, too. It makes me want to run and hide. But unfortunately I can't run anymore. But I can breathe a little easier and stop feeling sorry for him and try to accept this new fashion statement. Who knew?

172.4 One More Thing, Bob

I forgot to mention the exercise piece and so I sent him a second email about it. I recommended a book to him that my dear friend Loretta told me about called Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You're 80 and Beyond by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge. There are actually two books. This title is for men, and there is a second edition written for women, Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You're 80 and Beyond For Women, by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge. These books stress the importance of exercise and are very motivating and make a lot of sense. Actually, the message is very exciting, that you can help your body become younger through exercise.

I just had another great morning with my ESL group and thought I'd show off the Paradise Valley Community College campus. It is a lovely oasis in the desert.

171.2 A Good Habit

It's warming up so I think I'll be out walking tomorrow and in the (heated) pool by mid week. I know, it's tough, but somebody's got to do it and I've volunteered. I think upping the exercise with the Wii Fit Plus yesterday really did help, and I have stopped gorging before bed. What got into me? Nuts, peanut butter, all sorts of crazy things got into me before bed. I was hungry at bedtime last night, but I stood my ground after eating an apple and fell asleep. It felt great to get up and see that my weight is heading back down.

I am so glad that I trained myself to get on the scale every morning. It's habitual now, and one of the best habits I've ever had. Just like the weight loss, the maintenance is hinging on weighing myself everyday.

171.6 Old Friends

Today I had breakfast with my walking buddy Linda, but instead of walking, we ate breakfast together. It was just too cold and windy to walk. It was great to see her again and to get caught up. I really am aware that when I see old friends after being apart for awhile, that there's a rhythm that we find ourselves returning to, and off we go. We are going to walk for sure on Monday, when the temperature promises to be in the low 70's. I think we can manage that just fine.

And I met up with a second old friend today, my Wii Fit Plus workout program. I hadn't done it or had breakfast with it :) in almost 150 days. Now that's a long time, but explainable because I have tended to use it when the weather is too hot to be outside. And just like seeing Linda again, I quickly got in the rhythm of it and off I went. I want to write that I was just awesome doing all of the workouts, but that wasn't true. However, after some false starts, it became clear that if I stood up straight and used my abs to support me I did much better. In fact I did better than I have ever done on a few of the workouts. So now I can hardly wait to try again tomorrow to see if I can't get even higher scores. Like I've said before, I love the Wii Fit. We're going to continue to be best friends forever and get together a lot more often.

171.8 Standing For and Standing Up Straighter

Today I started back at PVCC teaching English as a Second Language. It's funny what you take for granted. I was teaching them the meaning of the phrase "stands for" which means "means" :), and learned that most of the students hadn't known that ESL stood for English as a Second Language. (PVCC stands for Paradise Valley Community College.)

And speaking of standing, when I walked in the area where I teach, I was told that I was standing much straighter! At first I couldn't imagine why that would be or that I hadn't been standing up straight in the past, but then I got it! I've been doing a lot of core work with my physical therapist as we've been trying to get my pelvis into better alignment. So, yes!, with all that work I've been doing to strengthen my abs, I bet I do stand straighter. For me it's always been hard to envision what I really look like on the outside. I thought I'd been standing ramrod straight for quite a while now. Hmmmm.

170.2 Searching For The Magic

Yesterday I got an email about the wonders of cinnamon and honey for weight loss and a host of other conditions. As my friend wrote, it probably can't hurt and it might help. For weight loss, it was all about making a tea concoction, so I went on line to learn more about it. And, it was fun to read comments from folks who had tried this magical brew. The comments went from good, to bad, to ugly! I wonder if the variance in results is related to the placebo effect for some folks. For some, this brew resulted in quick and dramatic weight loss, while for others it resulted in no change, some experienced nausea, some found clumping of the cinnamon a real turn off, and on and on. Some folks even gained weight while drinking this tea, honey, and cinnamon potion.

It all sort of reminds me of my straying into the land of eating salad for breakfast. I don't think there's anything wrong with trying new things. But if this is as powerful and beneficial as promised in this email, how come we haven't all heard about it? So if you are curious about the honey cinnamon approach to good living :) here's the information:

Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, in its issue dated 17 January,1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:

"Cinnamon and Honey

HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack.
Also, those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.

ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.

CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.

GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is revealed that if Honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of Honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacterial and viral diseases.

INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural ' Ingredient' which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu..

LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder, and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increase and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.

WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach, and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.

FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

BAD BREATH:
People of South America , first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restores hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!"

169.6 Odds and Ends

I've been thinking more about the balance ball comparison with weight loss and weight management and want to add to what I said yesterday. In both cases, practice and experience make things easier. In other words, I'm not going to be afraid of totally losing control in terms of what I eat forever. And, over time I will gain more control and confidence in what the heck I'm trying to do on the balance ball! :)

This morning I received a quote from one of my online friends that I like very much. "Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy." --Norman Vincent Peale. (Jeff received a book by Norman Vincent Peale when he was about 12 years old from his father. He gives it credit for shaping a lot of his thinking and he has been a successful and happy guy.)

And, I humbly celebrate my 451st post! Who knew this blog would exist for this long?

170.2 Balance Ball

Today I bought a balance ball to use with my physical therapy program. I've worked with one before but never owned my own big blue balance ball. I'm quite enamored with it, as you can see.

What's clicked in this simply unpredictable mind of mine is how losing weight, and maintaining weight loss is a little like doing a workout on a balance ball. There are so many aspects of what you are doing to keep track of, keep in balance, so you don't fall off. I haven't fallen off the balance ball yet, but I have caught myself in the process of losing it more than once.

Last night we went out to celebrate with friends and I caught myself just in the nick of time, before falling off. The catch was made in response to all of the mind and body work I've done over the past couple of years. Catching myself gave me confidence even though I did over eat, confidence that I knew the value of stopping and getting right back on track instead of giving in and giving up.

Balance in our lives is precious and attainable as long as we remember to catch ourselves when we get a little shaky, when we begin to lose control.

169.8 In The Soup!

I know, I know... I know what happened! Not to worry I keep telling myself. But over a pound over night? Jeff made soup for our dinner yesterday and instead of using water he used chicken broth (less sodium chicken broth). It was one of those soup mixes that includes the dried beans, etc., and a flavor packet. This was split pea with barley and promised to be delicious. Well, obviously the "flavor packet" contained salt as did the chicken broth, and we both were taken aback by how salty it was until we realized there was a reason why the recipe called for water. We ate it anyway, and today my fingers are a little salt bound, but it will all get washed out with the water I am drinking. I was really leery of soup while I was on the weight loss mission and maybe I'll go back to that mind set, at least for a while. Oh, I just remembered I had a cup of vegetable soup for lunch. Whoa!

171.0 Getting The Hang of It!

Remember when I was in the losing mode and was so concerned about what was going to happen when I left the safety of my own kitchen when we would travel? We just returned from our wonderful trip to the Boston area and I did just fine.

I am so grateful for the fact that I have gotten over the desire to use food to dampen down my emotions, or to use large amounts of food to celebrate. We ate out three times, had a yummy birthday dinner that Jeff and I cooked that included breaded veal, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peppermint chocolate ice cream pie. With all this tempting food, I just ate half of what I used to eat, if that, and then I found that I was totally satisfied. The hypnosis CDs that Jennifer made for me all included thoughts like that and I wanted to believe that it would happen, but my track record with other diets had been so poor that I just didn't know if I would be able to control my eating after I reached my goal.

What's really cool is that there isn't a big struggle about it all. I just find myself stopping after I've had about half a serving, I automatically say no to bread, or maybe have one slice, and then I forget about it. In old diet times, I used to struggle throughout a whole meal with my desire to eat more bread, have more wine, etc. The struggle has disappeared along with the 80 pounds! Yay! I am so relieved that it just isn't a big deal anymore!

170.4 All I Want For Christmas

All I want for Christmas is a super glued back! As I am getting ready for a 6 hour flight to Boston, my back has decided that it wants some attention, negative attention! I know what I did. In my wisdumb, I added a new stretch to my routine and it obviously wasn't a good idea. So I am now moving carefully and will continue to do so tomorrow as I approach that Thursday plane ride! And I want to be in great shape for shopping and enjoying my time with friends and family back there.

Maybe someday you will be able to get your back aligned and then held in place with super-glue! Now that would be some gift!

170.6 Things Really Do Get Easier

Things really do get easier...if you keep at it. I'm one of those people who, especially before the weight loss, would respond either to myself or out loud with "Yeah, right!", to such a pronouncement. But I really have learned over this amazing weight loss journey that it is true. And, now I'd like to return to various times in my life when I simply gave up when things didn't come to me easily. I think of my aborted cello and clarinet lessons. No, I wouldn't have competed with YoYo Ma in my wildest dreams, but I still love the sound of the cello and wish that I could play it.

So what sparked this post today? I was out walking with one of friends and we walked very briskly for an hour. I was thinking about the first time we decided to do this walk and I was really hesitant that I could physically do it. I remember that day very clearly and it wasn't easy, but I did it. Today it was easy and enjoyable and oh, so good for me.

170.4 Being Chased!

Yes, the weight is staying down and life is good. Today I went over to our community center pool to do my workout. There were a few people there so I couldn't sing out like I like to, but it was fine. I wear a swim jacket which keeps me warm enough and I really do look forward to it. This is being written by someone who hated to exercise three years ago!

Anyway, when I first get in the water I jog in place for about 10 minutes to fast songs on my little gismo I attach to my sunglasses. Today while I was jogging to the theme from Mamma Mia and then Voulez-vous, I started thinking about why I do this and why it seems so effortless. And then I got it. I am running as if I am being chased by new symptoms of arthritis in my back, and old age! And I am! And, I intend to keep running in the water so that I win! If I stop moving I know the arthritis will get me, and then old age won't be far behind. Since there was a time when just getting into the pool caused a lot of pain, this is heaven to me.