171.0 Getting The Hang of It!

Remember when I was in the losing mode and was so concerned about what was going to happen when I left the safety of my own kitchen when we would travel? We just returned from our wonderful trip to the Boston area and I did just fine.

I am so grateful for the fact that I have gotten over the desire to use food to dampen down my emotions, or to use large amounts of food to celebrate. We ate out three times, had a yummy birthday dinner that Jeff and I cooked that included breaded veal, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peppermint chocolate ice cream pie. With all this tempting food, I just ate half of what I used to eat, if that, and then I found that I was totally satisfied. The hypnosis CDs that Jennifer made for me all included thoughts like that and I wanted to believe that it would happen, but my track record with other diets had been so poor that I just didn't know if I would be able to control my eating after I reached my goal.

What's really cool is that there isn't a big struggle about it all. I just find myself stopping after I've had about half a serving, I automatically say no to bread, or maybe have one slice, and then I forget about it. In old diet times, I used to struggle throughout a whole meal with my desire to eat more bread, have more wine, etc. The struggle has disappeared along with the 80 pounds! Yay! I am so relieved that it just isn't a big deal anymore!

176.6 Home Alone!

Jeff's back in Boston and I'm home alone. It struck me that I could drink all of the wine I want, and eat whatever I want because no one would see me. Which led me to think about people who live alone and are trying to lose weight.

A while ago I wrote a post about whether weight is contagious. (See Weight Loss Contagion, 8/30/10.) Now I am thinking about that from a different point of view. Even though Jeff hasn't been coaching, scolding, or doing anything except encouraging me, I think his presence and his knowing what I am trying to achieve have provided a silent force that has really helped keep me honest.

No, I didn't open the wine, but I did eat more than usual. After telling Jennifer that I had eaten half of a honey dew melon, I joked with her that when she said to eat one half on her weight loss CDs she didn't mean to eat half of a melon. Oh, I know it could have been much worse, but it did cause me to think about living/eating alone and all that means. For some, it may mean that you can eat a lot less and just the food that you want because you aren't having to please another person, so that is freeing. For others it may signal that you are on your own and can get away with eating what ever and how much you want. As I learned last night, I'm going to have to please myself by staying with the program, staying aware and keeping my goal in mind with every bite.

176.2 (yay!) Charlee's Been Hypnotized!

Last night we had a group of friends over for dinner and I asked the gal who had brought a lovely platter of brie, fresh fruit and crackers to put it on our coffee table. She was a little concerned that Charlee might get into it, but I assured her that Charlee would leave it alone and never thought any more about it.

That was last night. This morning I came into my office and was settling down to do my self hypnosis when I looked down and saw this gross looking object in the little cubby where Charlee spends a lot of time. I couldn't fathom what this object was until I reached down to pick it up and realized it was what was left of the brie from last night. Horrified, I scolded Charlee and then suddenly burst out laughing realizing that she had obviously been listening to my morning self hypnosis sessions where I always talk out loud about eating only half, about listening to my body and stopping when I've had enough, etc. This little dog is better at regulating how much she eats than most humans and dogs. Don't dogs usually eat all the goodies that come their way all at once?

So Charlee, good for you. Yes, I've let her out several times this morning and then have to remind her that cheese binds :) as she struggles to relieve herself. Just so it all happens outside, my dear little hypnotized dog! Maybe we could work on some dog behaviors now, Charlee and me.

179.6 Hitting The Wall

Years and years ago, Jeff ran in a Boston Marathon (and finished)! He used to talk about "hitting the wall" as he started up Heartbreak Hill in Newton. He'd feel like he had nothing left to give but knew he had to run those hills in order to reach the finish line.

Today and yesterday and the day before to be honest, I've felt a little like I've hit the wall. I think it's a combination of things playing off of each other...getting out of the exercise mode due to the surgery, eating out a couple of times - let's make that 3 times over the past week, and just kind of a let down because I haven't been sleeping that well due to the eye thing. Now they are really itchy (I call them bitchy!), because the itchiness does make me pretty irritable.

So it's time to gather myself - I simply love that expression - around my purpose and get my act together again. I'm so close and I'd like these last 9 pounds to leave in a hurry, not drag us all through tedious weeks of going nowhere.

It's really hot here so we're going to a movie and then, you guessed it, we're going out to eat. But I can order well and just eat half and love myself! Now there's a thought....

188.2 What's Going On?

What's going on here? The scale just sort of rocks back and forth rather slowly in the same arc of about a pound. Why doesn't it want to cooperate and go down a little farther once in a while? I don't have the answer but I am going to continue to ride the arc and see if I can't get it going downward. It does seem obvious that I must be eating too much. What used to be cutting back to half was cutting back enough to cause weight loss along with the exercise, etc. when I first started this weight loss program. Now I think I have to cut back even more. It's sort of like physical therapy. Once I master a certain level of an exercise, the physical therapist makes it more challenging, by either extending the amount of repetitions or making it more difficult by adding more weight, raising the level of the step, etc.. I guess I shouldn't expect weight loss to be any different.

To be honest, I haven't wanted to eat less because I don't like to feel hungry. But maybe I will just have to put up with a little hunger for a while until my stomach shrinks a little more. I don't intend to do anything outrageous or untenable, just cut back a little and see how it goes. Listening to my hypnosis CDs, and engaging my inner spirit to encourage me and guide me will help me stay on track. And, there's always sugar free gum when the hunger sets in and it's not time to eat a meal... and apples, and carrots, and celery, all kinds of good things that are healthy and taste great.

191.4 Reactions and Strategies

A funny thing happened this morning. As Linda and I started our walk we both agreed it was way too cold and windy to go very far, so we walked to the golf course and ordered breakfast at the cantina there. I always order two scrambled eggs and one pancake, knowing I will eat only half of each item. Without thinking I poured regular syrup on my pancake. You would have thought that I poured gasoline on it. I was horrified and immediately scraped off the syrup and lifted the startled pancake up off of my plate. The waitress, noticing my distress, brought me a new plate and the sugar free variety of syrup. What's important here is my reaction. In the old days I would have blown off the error and gone ahead and eaten the pancake with full strength syrup. I liked my reaction! It proves that my mind has changed and I don't want that sugar in my body. Now some might think that sugar free syrup isn't exactly a great thing to be eating, but it works for me. It's a way for eating something I love without stirring up old cravings and associated problems. And, in the end I did only eat half.

Last night we went to a great steakhouse and I ordered halibut. It was so delicious. And, I ordered two veges, again knowing I would only eat half. For me, it's like buying insurance when we eat out. I don't want to overeat the higher calories things that often come with the entree because I might not be satisfied, so I cover my bases and have plenty of good veges available. Tonight I don't have to cook anything. I brought home half my fish, and have wonderful mushrooms and broccoli ready to be reheated. It's all about the strategies!

190.0 Congratulations, Allison!

Today I walked into the Resource Center at Paradise Valley Community College where I tutor ESL once a week. I hadn't been able to be there for a couple of weeks and was looking forward to seeing my students. What I wasn't expecting was the reception I received from one of the gals who works there. Allison had asked me the last time I was there how I had lost the weight. I told her that it was basically eating about half of what I used to eat, exercise, hypnosis, and staying connected to my inner spirit. Then I told her about writing this blog and sent her the blog address later that day.

When I walked in this morning, she jumped up from her chair, told me with great delight that she had lost 10 pounds since I had last seen her, and that she is so happy. She said that she has been reading the blog and how much it has helped her. She is struggling with diabetes now and is determined to fight it with weight loss. She said that she decided she was not going to let diabetes be a part of her life from now on.

Obviously, I am thrilled by her success. And, I am so glad that the information in the blog has helped her make the changes that are leading to her success. She laughed and said that what I've written about in the blog are things that she can relate to. For example, she still whines about wine! (See 8/19/09.)

I hope there are lots of readers who are finding inspiration and information through this blog to help them change. That has been one of my goals in writing this since the beginning. So congratulations, Allison! You are on your way, and you made my day!

188.8 Exercise AND Eating Less

Since I have been feeling so bad, I haven't been exercising... and I've lost about 2 pounds! I have been listening and reading about that study that claims to show that women can't lose weight just by exercising, and, in fact, need to exercise an hour a day just to prevent weight gain.

From my vast experience :) with all sorts of diets and exercise regimes, I have come to understand that you can't lose weight unless you eat less. This program that has enabled me to lose... are you ready?, 58 pounds, is all about eating about half less than you usually would, and building in exercise to help speed up your metabolism. When I used to exercise in my 30's and 40's, I always felt hungrier than ever after the exercise, and found that treating myself to something really yummy (read fat and sugar) was how I motivated myself to keep it up. What I didn't value at that time is that exercise is really all about getting healthier. Oh, and I didn't lose any weight!

If I go back and take a look at my weight loss history over the past couple of years, combining exercise with eating less shows a huge correlation. Without exercise (due to pain and back issues that pretty much prevented all exercise except water therapy), I lost 10 pounds. Just about a year ago, after a less invasive back surgery, I was able to start walking and I got in the habit of walking 4-5 days a weeks for 20 - 30 minutes, in addition to the water therapy, and I have lost 48 pounds since then. OMG, as I write this, it is just plain hard to believe!

Where did I get the support and courage to keep at this day after day? Jennifer Scott's encouragement and teachings about viewing life in a totally new way, listening to my inner spirit, along with using hypnosis, including self hypnosis, all played into it. Making a big change in my life has involved many factors, not just one. I think my success is a reflection of that.

194.8 Born To Run...Who Me?

My daughter Miranda suggested I read the book Born To Run. When she first told me about it, I dragged my feet :). I know I will never be a runner at this stage of my life. And, if you have been reading my blog, you know that I would never have said that I was born to run. But, according to the book, we were all born to run. The book talks about how complicated and efficient our feet are. Some of us just didn't know how to value that gift as we were growing up. The book is about many things to do with running, but also about the development and endurance of our spirits. And, it's also about healthy eating. It talks about the tribe of the "reclusive Tarahumara Indians of Mexico’s deadly Copper Canyons who are custodians of a lost art. For centuries they have practiced techniques that allow them to run hundreds of miles without rest and chase down anything from a deer to an Olympic marathoner while enjoying every mile of it. Their superhuman talent is matched by uncanny health and serenity, leaving the Tarahumara immune to the diseases and strife that plague modern existence." (I took this quote from the editor's description of the book on Amazon.com.) To eat like these tribe members, the first suggestion was extremely simple: eat less. The second was to eat mostly fruit and vegetables and to rely more on beans for protein than animal products. The concept of eating less does seem simple, but doing it is not as easy as it sounds. However, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be and becomes habitual quite quickly. Since my weight loss has really stalled out, I am thinking about cutting back even more. I can always fill up on celery :), apples, other veges. Oh, one thing I do occasionally while I'm preparing dinner so I won't eat while cooking is to put out raw veges. My favorite these days is a sliced red bell pepper, beautiful and yummy.

195.0 What’s Hypnosis Got to Do With It?

I've frequently talked about the fact that I have worked with Clinical Hypnotherapist Jennifer Scott, and that I credit hypnosis with being one of the most important tools that I've used to lose weight. Rather than me trying to explain what hypnosis is, I’ll let Jennifer. If you go to Jennifer’s website you’ll see that you have the opportunity to download a MP3 option in which she explains what hypnosis is and gives you a chance to experience it. Here's her website address: http://jscotthypnosis.com/. If you look on the right side of her home page you'll see how to get the MP3 download.

So how do I use hypnosis? I listen to CDs that she has made for me that put me in a hypnotic state and then reinforce the ways I manage food in order to lose weight - for example, that I eat half of a normal portion, that I eat food that helps me become healthier, and that I love to exercise. The CDs also help me envision the outcome of the weight loss - for example, that I feel younger, more agile, more slender, and happier. They also reinforce the idea that I want to and can lose more weight.

And, I've also learned how to hypnotize myself. This is very powerful and enables me to remind myself of those ideas I want to reinforce for myself. In this state I can also connect with my inner spirit, as I call it, to be with me, to give me courage and guidance and stay involved with me on this journey.

I encourage you to learn more about hypnosis. Obviously, I believe that it has changed my life.

195.4 Okay, So How Did You Do It?

I just returned home from walking with my friend Linda. Out of the blue on one of our recent walks she said, "Okay, so how did you do it? I am ready to lose some weight." I answered by outlining a few of the basics....eating half, being committed to eating food that is healthy, turning to her inner spirit for guidance, exercising, and the piece that is fundamental and at times maddening, the role that being disciplined plays in the program. And, I also talked about the big part hypnosis has played in changing my behavior. So this morning she announced with joy that she has lost 2 pounds this week! When I asked her how she did it :), she said,"Carrots carrots carrots!" Then she laughed and went on to say that she has been eating just half her normal portion size, how she has been thoughtful about what she ate at home or ordered out, and how she has become aware of when and why she eats. And I am thinking, "Linda, you have sure got the discipline piece working for you"!

About that time, I looked up and there was this gal and her dog that I often see when I walk. The dog has been trained, disciplined if you will, to stop and sit whenever it is approached by humans. The dog stays that way until the human has passed. The part discipline plays to make life easier is very important to all of us. Linda gets it now, and I am glad to say I do to. Anything we can do to help us move away from destructive behaviors into new and healthy ones relies in part on discipline. If this dog can get it, I think there is hope for all of us.

197.0 Eating Out Just Got Easier

For those of you who read this blog frequently, you have heard me complain about the challenge of eating out. With all of our recent travels, I have been doing a lot of eating out. And, I have finally found ways to enjoy it and not let it set me back too much. The secret isn't a secret at all. It's just good common sense that took me a while to accept and put to use. The basics of staying very aware of each bite, and eating only half of whatever I order are firmly in place for me. But I am also getting smarter about searching for healthy choices on menus that are not designed with the careful eater in mind! A couple of days ago, Jeff and I went to the movie Avatar and then went looking for a place to eat dinner. We ended up at CPK (California Pizza Kitchen as I still call it) and I felt safe with that choice because I knew that they serve wonderful salads there. What I learned is that they also have a delicious salmon option that comes with grilled vegetables. I asked for the ginger sauce on the side and had double veges because I didn't want the noodles that usually come with it. It was perfect.

Why was this so hard for me to incorporate easily into my life? Why did it take me so long to get the hang of it? It was difficult because I fought tooth and nail against not ordering the special items that the restaurant is known for. For example, to not order pizza at CPK was a really big hurdle for me to get over. To not order crab rangoon at a Chinese restaurant is another example of just having to get over it. And what is truly amazing is that I no longer miss those things.

So if you are going to eat out, check out the menu on line if you know ahead of time, and look for the option that is going to make you feel happy rather than guilty. And while you are eating, enjoy every bite by staying aware and eating slowly. And don't be afraid to have a bite of something that has been ordered by someone at your table if it is something you really like, and enjoy that bite. Soon, you'll find that bite is just the right amount. One more thing...if you are uncomfortable about asking for a container to put half in at the beginning of your meal, take your own container, put half in it and enjoy the rest. Out of sight, out of mind is really powerful in this situation.