186.2 So Tired, So Happy

My son and his three sons arrived today, our second influx of relatives. The party has definitely begun. I wish I had had the presence of mind to take a picture of them today so I could attach it to this post. They are 10, 8, and 5 now and so much fun. They are very different from each other and that adds to the theatre of it all. Prill and Phil made a delicious dinner tonight and it was a very welcome gift.

Jeff and I just sat down and looked at each other and agreed that we are exhausted, but oh so happy. We walked, played basketball, played Guitar Hero, played Super Mario something or other, played the card game war, decorated gingerbread houses, and decorated the tree at the house where the boys and Ted (and Lynsey later in the week) are staying. As Kathleen wrote in her comment posted yesterday, it's time to make new memories. I think we have a great start on that and it's only day one.

185.2 A Little of This and A LIttle of That!

I found the apricot colored pointsettia at our local grocery store. I had never seen one that color and had to have it! Since our house tends toward more desert colors, it is perfect.

We had a great Thanksgiving with friends and are now looking forward to ten days in Hawaii. I know, I know I will have to stay conscious and mindful of the exercise piece. My back is healing slowly. When I hurt it, I actually lost all the strength in my core muscles so the road back is slow, but my back is steadily improving so I am counting on being fine.

My new goal to to keep my weight steady throughout the next month and then I am thinking about doing something totally different to get the weight off. I did come up with a great, easy, filling breakfast. About a third of a cup of low fat cottage cheese with or without berries and Splenda and I am good to go for several hours.

Since we will be gone for the trip and then our family starts arriving around the 20th of December, I have no idea how often I'll write a post for this blog. I appreciate so much that you are still reading Susan's Losin' so continue check in now and then.

Here's the latest picture of Zuzu for those of you who know my 5 month old granddaughter!

184.3 Good News Or Bad News?

I don't know if I am sad or glad about this item in the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/27/health/biological-changes-thwart-weight-loss-efforts-study-finds.html

On the one hand, I don't feel like such a failure because I have put some of my lost weight back on. On the other hand, it makes me really sad to think that there is this (albeit a small sample) evidence that there are factors out of my control that have played into this situation.

I know it's a long, wordy article that basically says our bodies want to return to our old habits and our habitual metabolism after weight loss, that that doesn't change, in addition to the fact that the hormone leptin wreaks havoc with our systems and therefore regaining the weight is somewhat inevitable.

For now my response is that I will fight to at the least stay at this weight, and at best, get rid of it all over again. Ah, let's hear it for the amazing weight loss adventure. Who knew it would end with this new knowledge?

Returning To The New

Sometimes it's the obvious that gets forgotten. Once I reached my goal weight, I quit listening to the weight loss hypnosis CDs that Jennifer Scott had made for me. And as I've been struggling to stop gaining weight and getting back somewhere near that goal weight, I've finally focused on the fact that I haven't been following some basic ideas that I took to heart with great seriousness as I was in the weight loss mode. So yesterday I made new signs that are now adorning the refrigerator and the interior of the pantry, and I've started listening to the CDs. I felt such a difference yesterday as I approached food, and this morning the old phase "eat half" was at play in my brain and it was automatic once again. I'm hoping that I've found some new/old ways to help me regain that courage and strength as I face what I am really understanding has been a truth all along and that is I really am addicted to using food to blot out emotional ups and downs.

183.6 Funny Ha Ha, Or Funny Peculiar?

So I'm so proud of myself, staying with the program, writing everything down like a real trooper, and recording my weight at the top of each day's entry. Now here's the issue...for three days in a row I recorded my weight as 283 (plus or minus a few ounces) rather than 183 and I didn't catch it until yesterday. What is up with that? I actually think it's quite funny. In my family we used to ask "funny ha ha, or funny peculiar?", and therein lies my quandary. It is both. But thank goodness I don't weigh 283 because just prior to starting on this amazing weight loss journey, I could have easily seen my weight go into the 280s, easily. Maybe I was just distracted, but truth be told, it is hard for me to become distracted when recoding my weight. It is still a big deal!

182.5 A New Challenge Perhaps...

Speaking of challenges :), I may take on something that will definitely be a challenge for me. I've been approached by the head of the adult ed programs at our church about starting a weight loss group. I'm not sure what all it will entail, but I do know it will be up to me to design it. I would love to hear from any of you who read this blog about what might be important to include and what you've taken away from this blog about weight loss that has helped you, or been meaningful to you. The group won't start until after the first of the year so I have time to do this with thought and purpose. Any ideas you have will be welcome and appreciated.

183.2 Company's Comin'

This will be short. My sister Barbi and her husband Al are arriving momentarily. Even though they live about an hour and a half away, we don't see them very often so we are looking forward to their visit.

In response to my blogging about an ID to use while exercising, our son's partner Lynsey went on line and found me perfect ID. Once I get it, I'll post it so all can see. Lynsey's very clever. If she hadn't found one, she easily could have created and made one. Thanks so much Lynsey. And in her note she stressed that it wasn't for old people.:)

Do I Need To Know Why?

I really have a thing about celebraties and always wanted to be one. I've seen a fair number in my life, but not a lot. Today I was meeting with my ESL client at a local Starbucks where we talk for two hours a couple times a week. As we were leaving he told me that there was an actor sitting at a table outside. I looked over and saw an older, not too well put together guy and said that I didn't think that was anyone familiar. And then I took a second look and realized that it was Mel Gibson! No, I didn't acknowledge him at all, nor did anyone at that moment. I wonder if he cares either way. And, I wonder why he was sitting in a Starbucks in Scottsdale drinking coffee.

181.6 From Bad To Good!

Having a flat tire is no fun, anytime, especially far from home in 102 degree heat. But today things went from bad to good! As soon as I realized something was seriously wrong with my car, I pulled off and checked the tires. And, I had a major flat. I had to drive on it to get to a safer place to wait for help which was fairly unnerving as cars going very fast had to go around me. I called AAA and was told it would be up to an hour before they could get to me. Oh, I forgot to say I was on my way to a physical therapy appointment. So I called my PT office and explained I could never get there on time. As I'm sitting in my car, looking down, there was a loud knock on my window. With fear and trepidation I rolled down my window a little bit, and a young man offered to change my tire for me. I was so surprised and I must admit a little fearful, that I said no thanks and explained that AAA was on the way. He pressed and reminded me that I could be waiting for a long time for them to arrive and that he'd be happy to do it for me. I don't like to admit that I was suspicious and uncomfortable about agreeing to having him help me, but finally said I'd really appreciate it. This guy changed it within 10 minutes, wasn't carrying a gun, didn't try to rob me or hurt me, and was extremely competent. He said he'd just finished mechanic school and that's why he could do it so fast. So there you go! You never know when something wonderful will happen. And, I was able to get my PT appointment, after all. Now I want to find a way pay it forward.

181.4 Does It Matter?

My sister asked that question in response to the question I asked yesterday about why working out on the elliptical versus walking briskly seems to help me sleep better. And her response of "does it matter" also goes for lots of things I write about. But some things do matter to me because I'm always trying to figure out what is best, why I gain or lose at a specific time, etc. I don't know why my weight popped up this morning, but at least it's not horrific (does anyone say "oh horrors" anymore?) and there is probably not a lesson to be learned...everyday.

So I did the elliptical today for 30 minutes and I'm off to get a mani and a pedi!

I just like this picture. It symbolizes how much I hope to touch Zuzu's life, and how important her touch is to me.

182.0 The Elliptical Even With My Edgy Back!

Today I went back to the Y and spent more time on the elliptical and marveled at how good it felt to be doing it and how good I felt that I accomplished it. I still remember not being able to do it for more than one minute when I started. I was just beginning to lose the weight and I was so out of shape. Today I did it for 25 minutes and quit only because my back is being edgy and I don't want to irritate it.

I think that a good challenge for me is to keep heading over to the Y and staying with the elliptical at least every other day. It does really pick my spirits up when I do it and that's a very good thing for me.

182.2 Back In Familiar Territory

At least I am back in familiar territory and life is beginning to return to some sort of normal routine. I met Jennifer for breakfast as we usually try to do on Wednesdays so that piece is back in place after 3 weeks of missing it. She's a great friend and knows how to help me become grounded and looking forward. Thanks, Jennifer.

I was talking to my chiropractor this morning about the challenges of food/weight gain when traveling. He then confessed he gained 12 pounds in one Thanksgiving Day celebration. He blamed it on the wine and salt. I've heard that one before! He may hold a record. I have yet to gain 12 pounds on a trip or during a holiday and am counting on that never happening.

So life looks good today, very good. Thanks to all who wrote notes of condolence regarding the loss of our friend. Your caring and reaching out has been greatly appreciated by Jeff and me.

Feeling Much Better... About Everything!

Today was a great day. My weight dropped somewhat, but not enough to post. I walked yesterday and today first thing in the morning and so I felt good all day long because I was taking charge instead of feeling helpless.

I returned to Paradise Valley Community College today to teach ESL after being away since the spring semester ended in early May. It just feels great to be appreciated. There were hugs from students I had last year, and there were many new students that I look forward to getting to know. I had more students today than I've ever had. There were students from China, Iraq, Iran, Russia, Ukraine, Ethiopia, Mexico, Palestine, and Peru. The students include a 20 year old from China, who had arrived in the U.S. last month. I also have a Russian chemistry professor, who wants to improve his English so that he can work as a scientist here. Each student has a story to tell and I applaud their courage and initiative, and their desire to improve their lives as evidenced by their hard work to improve their English.

I'll be gone for the next few days as I mentioned in yesterday's post. I'll connect at the beginning of next week.

181.2 On The Road Again

Heading back to see family on the east coast including the wee little Zuzu. Check in now and then but for sure I'll be back at it on the 15th of September. I'll be weighing everyday and watching those carbs. How can I fail?

181.2 Carbs and Fat - Yikes!

My brother in law Phil sent me this article from Men's Health magazine. (http://www.menshealth.com/travel-center/diet-strategies-travel-and-weight-loss?cm_mmc=Twitter-_-MensHealth-_-Content-BestLife-_-TravelingMansEatingPlan.) I am reprinting a portion of it, because it really makes sense about the carbs in our diets and how they work against us as we try to control our weight.


"Rules of the Road

Any man who travels regularly needs a flexible, no-thought eating strategy. So we asked Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D., a nutrition researcher at the University of Connecticut, to create an effective diet that allows for indulgence without the need for calorie counting. His solution: a low-carb diet with benefits.

A quick explanation: Every time you eat high-carb foods—bread, pasta, rice, any product made with sugar or flour—the level of insulin in your blood rises. Insulin is a powerful hormone that signals your body to stop burning and start storing fat. How powerful? Volek and his colleagues asked 20 men to follow a strict low-carb diet for 6 weeks. But instead of telling them to downsize their portions, the scientists encouraged the study participants to eat all they wanted. When the results were tallied, the men had still dropped an average of 7 pounds of fat and had significantly lowered their risk of heart disease. "We calculated that 70 percent of the variability in fat loss was explained by the reduction in insulin levels," says Volek. "That's a powerful effect."

Now think about that in reverse. If you're constantly downing carbs, as most Americans do, you'll be in fat-storing mode all day long. And you don't need a study to tell you what that's done to our collective waistline.

So Volek counseled Baier to adopt low-carb eating as his default diet and to make high-carb meals an exception. Try it yourself and you'll limit your number of daily insulin spikes, keeping your body in fat-burning mode most of the time. After all, when it comes to your gut, "most of the time" is what matters."

This explanation of carbs in relation to storing fat will really make me think twice before eating carbs. I'm still hung up on wanting to eat a lot of fruit, but I guess I will have to become very aware of how many carbs a given serving of fruit has and plan well.

182.4 It's Late!

I think this is the latest at night that I have written a post for this blog. I had a great day, a busy day, and we just returned home after being out with friends. So life is good even if my weight isn't where I want it to be.

My walking buddy has returned and we walked this morning. It felt great and we are heading out tomorrow morning, too. But before long, Jeff and I will be flying to Boston and my routine will be totally thrown up in the air - in a very good way! We'll be with our east coast family and that is always very special. I think I will be careful about what I eat (lots of great seafood), but wait until we return and then put some serious thought and ENERGY into getting back to where I want to be!

181.2 Is This Okay?

A week ago I accidentally spilled bleach on my favorite pair of black cargo shorts from Chico's. I loved these shorts and am brokenhearted that I can't replace them. Chico's doesn't have any more black in my size, nor can I get them on line. If you can feel devastated by this kind of loss, I do.

Wednesday I went shopping and bought a top that I just love! And today I went and bought another top, just like the one I bought on Wednesday. (I know that this behavior was triggered by the bleach incident.) This is not a T shirt. This is a special top to wear with dress pants or jeans, depending on my mood and/or the occasion, and it is distinctive. I have bought several pairs of the same pants/jeans if they fit well, but I've never done it with a special top.

I just told my daughter Miranda about my purchase and how I felt like I have done something bizarre and extravagant, and that I feel a little guilty. She listened well and then with a smile in her voice agreed that it was okay, but cautioned me that two were enough! Love that girl!

180.6 Just Wondering...

Briefly :), today I went to a foot specialist because I have had a fungus under my big toenail, and, even though I have taken a 6 month RX of Lamosil, it is still lovin' livin' with me. So the doctor told me in 5 different ways that I had 3 choices of what to do about it. I felt like a smart kindergartner. I got it the first time through the options, but he kept repeating himself. Is this behavior because he sees an older woman who probably isn't all there? Or, does it look like I just don't get it? This was not rocket science. I tried my mirroring skills and said "so you are saying..." and he still kept repeating my options. You'll be delighted to know that I have chosen the option of doing nothing since a little toe fungus never hurt anyone unless they have an at risk immune system. So far, at least, that doesn't pertain to me. In fact, early on, in the conversation, we agreed that I didn't need to be concerned with an inadequate immune system. Sometimes, I just shake my head, on purpose :). ( I do have a little head tremor, but that's another post!)

181.2 Craziness Abounds

No, I haven't started the 17 day diet and am still reading the book. One thing I've picked up on while reading it is the fact that the author has repeated the phrase "you have to believe that this will work" several times already. I totally agree with that. And often just believing will help make success real as illustrated when people are given placebos, for example.

I woke up this morning with a swollen face. I still look a bit like the creature from the black lagoon. Our physicians' office here has Saturday morning hours so off I went and came home with prednisone. Since I had added nothing new and/or different to my diet yesterday I'll never know what triggered this allergic reaction. Looking on the positive side, my wrinkles have almost totally disappeared. I'm supposed to go to a dinner party tonight but feel less than good. In fact, I feel worse than I look. I'm not sure whether I'll go or not. I'll go to sleep for a while now and see how I feel when I wake up. But I do wonder what caused this! I like answers.

180.6 Self Hypnosis

One of the things I realize that I have not been doing that was part of the weight loss program that I worked on with Jennifer Scott is self hypnosis. I have written about wanting to get back into that zone of weight loss and hypnosis played a big part in the 80 pound weight loss. So now I have something else to add to my to do list everyday. It is odd that I let that go because it doesn't take more than about 15 minutes, there is no deprivation or exercise involved :), and I know it will help me.

Hmmmm....!