186.2 Charlee

Our precious dog, Charlee, is sick and in the hospital. She has pancreatitis usually caused in dogs by eating rich food. We aren't sure how/when she got an overload of rich food, but we did have a full house at most meal times so who knows. It really doesn't matter, but what does matter is that she's in a special hospital, on IVs for hydration, meds, etc., and getting very good care. Hopefully we'll be able to bring her home tomorrow. This little Havanese is Jeff's and my baby/child now and it's amazing how much we love her.

Life will get back on track once she feels better and I learn what's wrong with my hip. I promised myself to exercise regularly, etc., but whatever is wrong with my hip has really gotten in the way. I was doing the elliptical with Linda but since that causes flexion in my hip muscles that is now a no-no. The only thing I can do is walk and stretch in my pool. So I'm just going to take it easy, be compassionate toward myself as my dear Alee encourages me to be, and once I'm good to go, I'll get going!

186.2 So Tired, So Happy

My son and his three sons arrived today, our second influx of relatives. The party has definitely begun. I wish I had had the presence of mind to take a picture of them today so I could attach it to this post. They are 10, 8, and 5 now and so much fun. They are very different from each other and that adds to the theatre of it all. Prill and Phil made a delicious dinner tonight and it was a very welcome gift.

Jeff and I just sat down and looked at each other and agreed that we are exhausted, but oh so happy. We walked, played basketball, played Guitar Hero, played Super Mario something or other, played the card game war, decorated gingerbread houses, and decorated the tree at the house where the boys and Ted (and Lynsey later in the week) are staying. As Kathleen wrote in her comment posted yesterday, it's time to make new memories. I think we have a great start on that and it's only day one.

185.2 A Little of This and A LIttle of That!

I found the apricot colored pointsettia at our local grocery store. I had never seen one that color and had to have it! Since our house tends toward more desert colors, it is perfect.

We had a great Thanksgiving with friends and are now looking forward to ten days in Hawaii. I know, I know I will have to stay conscious and mindful of the exercise piece. My back is healing slowly. When I hurt it, I actually lost all the strength in my core muscles so the road back is slow, but my back is steadily improving so I am counting on being fine.

My new goal to to keep my weight steady throughout the next month and then I am thinking about doing something totally different to get the weight off. I did come up with a great, easy, filling breakfast. About a third of a cup of low fat cottage cheese with or without berries and Splenda and I am good to go for several hours.

Since we will be gone for the trip and then our family starts arriving around the 20th of December, I have no idea how often I'll write a post for this blog. I appreciate so much that you are still reading Susan's Losin' so continue check in now and then.

Here's the latest picture of Zuzu for those of you who know my 5 month old granddaughter!

183.4 Does This Bother You, too?

I'm probably just being overly sensitive but the emails that are floating around aimed at older women telling them that they deserve to eat all the cookies, cakes, and pies that they want really bother me. It's sort of like giving us permission to throw in the towel and rejoice about being fat. I don't believe that everyone needs to be thin, but indulging in sweets or whatever just because you're older seems all backwards. What about the fact that issues of diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, etc., only get worse the older/heavier you are. I hope I haven't lost my sense of humor during this weight loss journey, but I really don't think these emails are helpful or thoughtful.

I'm still pondering the issue of there being a hormone (leptin) that gets out of whack and may be the reason so many big weight losers have trouble keeping the weight off. I'm not going to just give in and I hope the current evidence will be proven wrong. But if it is correct, I'm hoping before long I can pop a pill to even things out.

184.3 Good News Or Bad News?

I don't know if I am sad or glad about this item in the NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/27/health/biological-changes-thwart-weight-loss-efforts-study-finds.html

On the one hand, I don't feel like such a failure because I have put some of my lost weight back on. On the other hand, it makes me really sad to think that there is this (albeit a small sample) evidence that there are factors out of my control that have played into this situation.

I know it's a long, wordy article that basically says our bodies want to return to our old habits and our habitual metabolism after weight loss, that that doesn't change, in addition to the fact that the hormone leptin wreaks havoc with our systems and therefore regaining the weight is somewhat inevitable.

For now my response is that I will fight to at the least stay at this weight, and at best, get rid of it all over again. Ah, let's hear it for the amazing weight loss adventure. Who knew it would end with this new knowledge?

Another ESL Moment

Today I was struck once again by the very special lessons I am learning from my ESL students. Locally and perhaps nationally there has been a big push called "Making a Difference". One of my students (from the Ukraine I believe) told the class today that she and her husband, who owns a construction company, wanted to make a difference so they replaced all the windows and doors in the home of a Vietnam War vet as their way of participating. I wonder how many of those who complain about immigration/immigrants have done anything to make a difference. Maybe you can tell I'm a little weary of all of the closed thinking that is alive and well in this nation of immigrants.

I also learned that one of my students from Mexico waited 9 years to get her green card to come to this country where sadly instant gratification has become a national value. It's all so strange.

183.6 Funny Ha Ha, Or Funny Peculiar?

So I'm so proud of myself, staying with the program, writing everything down like a real trooper, and recording my weight at the top of each day's entry. Now here's the issue...for three days in a row I recorded my weight as 283 (plus or minus a few ounces) rather than 183 and I didn't catch it until yesterday. What is up with that? I actually think it's quite funny. In my family we used to ask "funny ha ha, or funny peculiar?", and therein lies my quandary. It is both. But thank goodness I don't weigh 283 because just prior to starting on this amazing weight loss journey, I could have easily seen my weight go into the 280s, easily. Maybe I was just distracted, but truth be told, it is hard for me to become distracted when recoding my weight. It is still a big deal!

183.0 Can I Just Say...?

Can I just say that sometimes I am blown away by experiencing life, my life. I think that I "know what to expect", if not control much of it, and today I was reminded that things happen that I never expected.

Today is Thursday, my ESL teaching day, and as I was walking away from the classroom toward my car I was filled with such gratitude that I know these people and have a chance to interact with them every week. I wish I could introduce them to all those who might question why I do this.

I've written about having each of the students embark on a challenge of their choosing each week. Today I learned that one of the men with his two sons hiked down to the floor of the Grand Canyon and then back up all in the same day. He laughed as he told us that one of his sons still thinks he was crazy to want to do that. A woman in the class is a swimming instructor and is teaching a deaf 13 year old how to swim. The young girl is not only deaf but was terrified of the water, and my ESL student had her calmly floating in the pool. One of my challenges is trying to keep up with these magnificent folks!

I'm into my second day of writing everything down - so far so good!

182.5 A New Challenge Perhaps...

Speaking of challenges :), I may take on something that will definitely be a challenge for me. I've been approached by the head of the adult ed programs at our church about starting a weight loss group. I'm not sure what all it will entail, but I do know it will be up to me to design it. I would love to hear from any of you who read this blog about what might be important to include and what you've taken away from this blog about weight loss that has helped you, or been meaningful to you. The group won't start until after the first of the year so I have time to do this with thought and purpose. Any ideas you have will be welcome and appreciated.

183.2 Company's Comin'

This will be short. My sister Barbi and her husband Al are arriving momentarily. Even though they live about an hour and a half away, we don't see them very often so we are looking forward to their visit.

In response to my blogging about an ID to use while exercising, our son's partner Lynsey went on line and found me perfect ID. Once I get it, I'll post it so all can see. Lynsey's very clever. If she hadn't found one, she easily could have created and made one. Thanks so much Lynsey. And in her note she stressed that it wasn't for old people.:)

Do I Need To Know Why?

I really have a thing about celebraties and always wanted to be one. I've seen a fair number in my life, but not a lot. Today I was meeting with my ESL client at a local Starbucks where we talk for two hours a couple times a week. As we were leaving he told me that there was an actor sitting at a table outside. I looked over and saw an older, not too well put together guy and said that I didn't think that was anyone familiar. And then I took a second look and realized that it was Mel Gibson! No, I didn't acknowledge him at all, nor did anyone at that moment. I wonder if he cares either way. And, I wonder why he was sitting in a Starbucks in Scottsdale drinking coffee.

182.3 A Lot To Think About

My last post was about the man collapsing at the Y while working out. I walked in my neighborhood yesterday rather than returning to the Y - I know, I will get over it - and I realized that if I collapsed where I was walking (except very close to my house) not many people would know me. So I really do need to get some form of ID to wear when I exercise. But isn't that what old people do? Or, maybe it's what smart people do. As my 69th birthday approaches, I have lots to think about. I never really thought about all I'd have to think about as my age increases. But on the other hand, there are so many good things to think about. No matter, I should get an ID.

181.4 A New Taste Treat

A couple of weeks ago I visited my wonderful, inspirational friend Barbara in southern California. She, like my sister Priscilla, has managed to keep her weight under control for most of her life. She told me about one of her new favorite combinations that she eats for breakfast and/or lunch. I came home and tried it and have been hooked ever since. I feel compelled to share it :).

Mix about 1/4 cup Greek non-fat yogurt (Greek yogurt is much higher in protein so you'll feel fuller longer than if you use regular yogurt) with 1/4 cup non-fat or low fat cottage cheese. Then add sliced fresh tomato and about 1/4 to 1/2 of an avocado. Add salt and lots of pepper and enjoy! She feeds this to her 18 month old grand-daughter who loves it. I also the eat the yogurt and cottage cheese combo with fresh berries. I sprinkle Splenda on it and think it's heavenly.

I have a hunch that you'll really like both of these options if you like yogurt and cottage cheese. Oh, I just remembered... I also ate it with fresh figs and that was so good!

181.6 From Bad To Good!

Having a flat tire is no fun, anytime, especially far from home in 102 degree heat. But today things went from bad to good! As soon as I realized something was seriously wrong with my car, I pulled off and checked the tires. And, I had a major flat. I had to drive on it to get to a safer place to wait for help which was fairly unnerving as cars going very fast had to go around me. I called AAA and was told it would be up to an hour before they could get to me. Oh, I forgot to say I was on my way to a physical therapy appointment. So I called my PT office and explained I could never get there on time. As I'm sitting in my car, looking down, there was a loud knock on my window. With fear and trepidation I rolled down my window a little bit, and a young man offered to change my tire for me. I was so surprised and I must admit a little fearful, that I said no thanks and explained that AAA was on the way. He pressed and reminded me that I could be waiting for a long time for them to arrive and that he'd be happy to do it for me. I don't like to admit that I was suspicious and uncomfortable about agreeing to having him help me, but finally said I'd really appreciate it. This guy changed it within 10 minutes, wasn't carrying a gun, didn't try to rob me or hurt me, and was extremely competent. He said he'd just finished mechanic school and that's why he could do it so fast. So there you go! You never know when something wonderful will happen. And, I was able to get my PT appointment, after all. Now I want to find a way pay it forward.

181.4 Does It Matter?

My sister asked that question in response to the question I asked yesterday about why working out on the elliptical versus walking briskly seems to help me sleep better. And her response of "does it matter" also goes for lots of things I write about. But some things do matter to me because I'm always trying to figure out what is best, why I gain or lose at a specific time, etc. I don't know why my weight popped up this morning, but at least it's not horrific (does anyone say "oh horrors" anymore?) and there is probably not a lesson to be learned...everyday.

So I did the elliptical today for 30 minutes and I'm off to get a mani and a pedi!

I just like this picture. It symbolizes how much I hope to touch Zuzu's life, and how important her touch is to me.

Feeling Much Better... About Everything!

Today was a great day. My weight dropped somewhat, but not enough to post. I walked yesterday and today first thing in the morning and so I felt good all day long because I was taking charge instead of feeling helpless.

I returned to Paradise Valley Community College today to teach ESL after being away since the spring semester ended in early May. It just feels great to be appreciated. There were hugs from students I had last year, and there were many new students that I look forward to getting to know. I had more students today than I've ever had. There were students from China, Iraq, Iran, Russia, Ukraine, Ethiopia, Mexico, Palestine, and Peru. The students include a 20 year old from China, who had arrived in the U.S. last month. I also have a Russian chemistry professor, who wants to improve his English so that he can work as a scientist here. Each student has a story to tell and I applaud their courage and initiative, and their desire to improve their lives as evidenced by their hard work to improve their English.

I'll be gone for the next few days as I mentioned in yesterday's post. I'll connect at the beginning of next week.

OUCH!

No, I'm not posting my weight today. I don't think I have ever not posted it. But it's too painful to acknowledge. On the other hand, I had an absolutely wonderful time with my family on the east coast. No, I didn't binge, I didn't go crazy, and we didn't eat out all of the time. But being away from home gets me out of my routine and "that's" what happens.

I am on Twitter and constantly get invited to follow various Twitter sites. This morning I checked one out and loved this quote that read: "The road to success is always under construction". Lily Tomlin is credited with this quote. I doubt she had weight loss/maintenance on her mind when she wrote it, but I find it comforting.

And, we are traveling again but just for a couple of days. We will be attending the memorial service of a dear friend from our UCLA days. In fact, he and his wife introduced Jeff and me to each other. We are saddened by this loss. So, there will be some days without a post.

181.2 On The Road Again

Heading back to see family on the east coast including the wee little Zuzu. Check in now and then but for sure I'll be back at it on the 15th of September. I'll be weighing everyday and watching those carbs. How can I fail?

182.6 Labor Day and a Clean Closet

I don't know if it's because this is Labor Day weekend, or if we just got the bug, but today we tackled our closet which meant I had to face getting rid of more clothes. I don't know why I have hung onto so many things that don't fit anymore. Part of it is that I don't want to have such an empty looking closet. But we rearranged, sorted out, and ended up with a couple of big bags to go to the Goodwill and it looks so much better.

I still have a few things that just fill me with great memories when I look at them. I think it's okay to keep them a while longer.

182.4 It's Late!

I think this is the latest at night that I have written a post for this blog. I had a great day, a busy day, and we just returned home after being out with friends. So life is good even if my weight isn't where I want it to be.

My walking buddy has returned and we walked this morning. It felt great and we are heading out tomorrow morning, too. But before long, Jeff and I will be flying to Boston and my routine will be totally thrown up in the air - in a very good way! We'll be with our east coast family and that is always very special. I think I will be careful about what I eat (lots of great seafood), but wait until we return and then put some serious thought and ENERGY into getting back to where I want to be!