184.4 Some Good News!

I just learned that Boar's Head turkey breast contains no nitrites. Funny, the things that can make me very happy. I love to eat turkey for lunch but got all hung up because I had read that all deli meats contained high levels of nitrites. So today I asked about it at our local grocery store deli and, lo and behold, a Boar's Head rep was in the store. So we had quite a chat. She's now on my list of best friends. She told me that the turkey, chicken, and roast beef are all nitrite free. So there you go, another beautiful, great day out here in sunny Scottsdale. Maybe I'm also feeling happy because I got back on the elliptical this morning. It did feel good.

182.0 An Upsetting Day

Today I headed off to go shopping and turned around because I realized that if I didn't go work out then, I probably wouldn't get it done. So I came in the house, changed my clothes and headed over to the Y. I was doing the elliptical (what else?) when a guy ran into the big workout room and yelled that a doctor was needed. Everyone froze in their tracks including me as we all became aware that someone was in some kind of trouble. I really didn't feel like continuing but I also didn't really want to leave where I was because I didn't want to see what had happened. I know that my reaction may not be typical, but that's where I was. Finally, thinking the emergency must be over, I went into the locker room, got my stuff and headed out. There was a group of guys taking turns doing CPR on the fellow who had obviously collapsed. I could hear them counting. I went on outside and then heard folks saying that no one knew who the man was who had collapsed...which is why I am writing this. And it dawned on me that no one would know who I was if I collapsed there. I show my ID card when I enter and then put it back in my wallet and lock that up in my locker.

Two fire trucks and an ambulance finally arrived which is another upsetting story. Because the Y is in Scottsdale, emergency crews had to come from a Scottsdale fire station even though there were three stations closer to the Y but not in Scottsdale proper so it did take forever for help to arrive.

Maybe I'll work out at my community center workout room. I need to think about keeping an ID with me, also. A very upsetting day.

182.6 What If...

This blog is so weird! It is all over the map, and much of the time I don't acknowledge my weight in my posts at all. So what if I didn't publish it and just carried on, sharing with whomever bits and pieces of my life?

Off to the elliptical. It doesn't care at all what my weight is. Which reminds me that a couple of days ago a blind woman was doing the elliptical. If she can, I certainly can. (Her husband set it up and helped her on and she was on her way. It was great to see.)

182.8 Acceptance and Confidence

I'm just learning to accept that going out with friends often ends with two things...having a great time, and a little bump up. I also know that I can get it headed down so there is just more confidence and acceptance.

Yes, I do want to get rid of the 10 plus pounds, but even with that, I am not going to throw myself into a whirlwind of desperation. I just came back from the Y and my favorite elliptical and am just breathing easier. I'll take this new place I'm in... at least for today :).

181.4 Does It Matter?

My sister asked that question in response to the question I asked yesterday about why working out on the elliptical versus walking briskly seems to help me sleep better. And her response of "does it matter" also goes for lots of things I write about. But some things do matter to me because I'm always trying to figure out what is best, why I gain or lose at a specific time, etc. I don't know why my weight popped up this morning, but at least it's not horrific (does anyone say "oh horrors" anymore?) and there is probably not a lesson to be learned...everyday.

So I did the elliptical today for 30 minutes and I'm off to get a mani and a pedi!

I just like this picture. It symbolizes how much I hope to touch Zuzu's life, and how important her touch is to me.

180.6 Sleep and Exercise

I woke up this morning weighing less than I have in a while, and realized I had the longest, best sleep I've had in a long time. So many of my gal pals complain along with me that we can't sleep through the night. I've never asked them about how much they exercise, but now I'm wondering if, in spite of all of the hormone issues that I read get in the way of a good night's sleep, a lack of exercise also plays a part. For me the real challenge (there's that word again) is about balancing what I do in terms of exercise while taking care of my arthritic spine. One reason I love the elliptical is that there is no impact so it is gentle on my whole system while at the same time it gets my heart rate up and just feels good. But I do need to walk so that there is some impact to strengthen my bones. So here's the question... why do I sleep better after doing the elliptical for a half hour versus walking briskly for a half hour?

On that note, I'm heading out for a walk.

182.0 The Elliptical Even With My Edgy Back!

Today I went back to the Y and spent more time on the elliptical and marveled at how good it felt to be doing it and how good I felt that I accomplished it. I still remember not being able to do it for more than one minute when I started. I was just beginning to lose the weight and I was so out of shape. Today I did it for 25 minutes and quit only because my back is being edgy and I don't want to irritate it.

I think that a good challenge for me is to keep heading over to the Y and staying with the elliptical at least every other day. It does really pick my spirits up when I do it and that's a very good thing for me.

182.4 Feeling Alive

I think my spirit died a little this summer. I have lots of reasons I can think of as to why that happened and none of them are very good. Jeff and I are already thinking about next summer and changes we might make so that this doesn't happen again.

Today, as I was leaving the college after teaching the ESL group, I was struck by how alive I felt at that moment. I could teach over the summer and perhaps that is something I might do next year. And I want to find other activities even now that give me that sense of aliveness that I seem to need.

My time with my children and grandchildren always gives me that sense of feeling alive and of being in the moment, and I cherish that time with them so much.

So I am grateful for so much today. I even did the elliptical and realized how alive I felt while doing that. Why don't I do it more often and more routinely? That's a good question. So I'm working on lots of things mentally and physically. Welcome back to life, Sue!

179.0 Blissfully Uncomplicated

That's probably a crazy title for this post, but things seem simpler now, not so scary and complicated. Yes, I have severe osteoarthritis in my neck causing impingement on some of the nerves that I perceive as numbness, hair on my face, little things like that :). But the MRI came back with that information so I'm feeling good because it is what I expected. So now I'm in the process of figuring out the next steps so I can take care of this. These decisions may be a little complicated, but since I've been through similar things with my back, I can deal with it.

Because now I totally understand what is going on, I went over and did the elliptical for a grand total of 26 minutes, and I'll do my pool workout in a few minutes. (It was funny... when I didn't know, I didn't want to do much exercise. I was a little off kilter!) So life is getting back to normal and for that I am very thankful.

176.6 Elliptical Event

Today is a big day! I got back on the elliptical after a long time being away from it. And, it felt good, I could do it, and I definitely need to get back in the habit. I went to our new YMCA and was so happy to see so many teenagers working out with friends and, in some cases, with parents. What a gift to our community this new center is!

174.4 Back At It!

I just came home from the workout room at our community center. It's part of our homeowner's association which means it is about 2-3 minutes from our house by car. Now that's striking me very funny that I drive there. But anyway, the equipment is fine, it's clean, it is rarely crowded, so why in the world don't I go at least three or four times a week?

Laziness? Probably! I don't know. But I went over there this morning and hopped on the elliptical and we are best friends once again. Remember when I couldn't do more than a minute or so? Today I did twenty minutes and could have done more, but I sort of want to work up to doing 30 minutes over time so I don't shock my body too badly! It was fun, it felt great, and I'm so glad I got with the program once again.

179.6 Like A Broken Record

Today I was talking to a dear friend who has followed this blog since its inception. Recently she became quite ill and was unable to read it for about 2 weeks. She said when she asked her husband how I was doing, he said I was stuck! I admitted that he was so right!

Remember records, scratched records on which the needle would move a little this way and a little that way, but it was stuck in the same place and a few words or just sounds would continually be repeated? I'm like an old scratched LP record!

My leg pain is stuck, too. Ever since my encounter in New Hampshire with the big flying bug, my back has not been right and leg pain is the result. Leg pain makes it hard for me to think about jumping on the elliptical or even taking a long walk. Today we went shopping and after standing and walking through the racks of gorgeous clothes for about 20 minutes, I needed to head home because of the pain. So, in order to move forward, I think I had better check out what's going on with my back doc. Plus, I've got to get it all together for my 50th high school reunion in Palo Alto that's coming up in a week. Go Paly! Go Sue!

181.2 Computers, Confusion, and Carrots!

Yesterday I wrote about all I had accomplished and especially about staying off of the computer. I revealed that I seem to be a bit addicted to it. And I wrote that we were expecting guests!

Having published the post, I jumped up, got the appetizers ready (I'd love to use those lovely French words meaning the same thing but I can't remember how to spell them), and Jeff,and Charlee our dog, and I started waiting, ...and waiting. Charlee kept going to the door because I had told her that Annis and Don were coming and she remembered them. The house was clean, Jeff and I were dressed and ready to entertain, but where were they? As it got later I checked my computer calendar and we were ready a week too soon!:(

Had I been on my computer I would have noticed that a reminder of this long awaited event did not pop up on the left hand side listing of calendar events for the day, nor was there a reminder in my inbox. Does this mean I can hang out with my computer more and not feel guilty?

So glad to have lost a pound! And this morning I did head over to the elliptical and rode almost 2 1/2 miles in 35 minutes. I'm making progress. Later this afternoon we are going to see Eat, Pray, Love. I'm smuggling in a bag of carrots, cherry tomatoes, and snap peas to get me through the eating part. The veges aren't going to taste as good as the pizza that is described in the book, but will serve me well in the moment.

179.0 "My Favs" and Me

I just got back from visiting my dear friend the elliptical. Our relationship has been a little rocky over the past 4 - 5 weeks, basically because I haven't been doing my part. I've ignored it, putting other things first, and so reuniting with it today wasn't easy. I did the interval speed up technique a couple of times and thought that the elliptical was out to kill me! As I was easing into completing 10 long, hard minutes on it, I started thinking about leaving, quietly, sort of slipping out the back door. But then, as I was listening to my group of tunes for exercise that I call "My Favs", (I know, not very original) Willie started singing On The Road Again and there was no way I could leave before he finished. So on I rode. And then, as I am still planning my unobtrusive exit, Louis Armstrong joined in with What A Wonderful World, so I decided that I really needed to keep going and use that song as an opportunity to cool down, and then.... Well, you get the picture. I stayed with it for 25 minutes instead of 10, thanks to "My Favs". I'm going to add some more songs that I can't possibly not listen to and see if I can't use that as my motivation to keep going. Once I download about 40 minutes worth of tunes on "My Favs" instead of the current ~25 minutes, I'll be in business.

181.4 Putting Things In Perspective

Hmm...what shall I write about today? I don't think I've ever started a post this way, with that question, although everyday that question floats through my mind.

I did go over and "hop" on the elliptical this afternoon and stayed with it for 20 minutes. I did a 15 minute mile and then did my cool down. Tomorrow I'll add more time and work back up to the 40 minute range. It is unbelievably hot here in Scottsdale. It's 108 degrees up here where we live, which is at a an elevation of about 2000 feet higher than downtown Scottsdale and it rarely gets this hot up here. In fact, it's too hot to think about going into the pool. I'm putting off the water therapy until it cools down a bit.

Today Loretta had cochlear implant surgery which is why she is down here from Prescott. It really puts things in perspective when your friends have health issues. She experienced sudden onset deafness in one ear about 6 months ago and is determined to live the best quality of life that she can. I really admire her for getting the information and making the decision to deal with the problem instead of just talking about it or putting up with it.

Life throws us all unexpected and undesirable experiences and problems. From my perspective, facing things, getting the best help possible, and moving on is not always easy, but is essential to living a fulfilled and abundant life.

181.0 Getting The Hang Of It!

Now that was a great surprise this morning as I stepped on the scale. In fact, I got off, let it go back into its sleep mode, woke it up and stepped on it again to be sure.

Jennifer has been encouraging me for a while now to do interval training on the elliptical instead of staying around the same speed throughout the workout. I've been doing that lately and I think my metabolism is wondering what the heck is going on, but has sped up in response to the change! Now I go for 3 minutes at about 3.5 mph and then do 30 seconds as fast as I can move my legs, and then go back to the slower pace for 3 minutes, etc.. And the workout lasts for between a half hour and 45 minutes. It's funny, but as the end of the 3 minutes is approaching, I get excited to speed up. I think my body really likes the switching back and forth. Another shift in response? The old me would have dreaded the impending speed up and work involved.

We are heading to the Boston area for a couple of weeks to see our daughters, son-in-law, and friends so the posts will be intermittent. Not that I'm counting :), but I've lost 22 pounds since visiting there last November. And, 3 of those pounds have been lost in the last 8 days! Maybe I'm getting the hang of it:)!

185.4 The Lure of a Nap

I just woke up from a very delicious nap! I slept for about an hour and a half. I should have written that I woke up from a very long, delicious nap. I always feel a little guilty when I take a nap, and so I rarely do... now. I used to suffer from severe depression and I devoted every afternoon to sleeping for long periods of time. Ever since that time (which was a long time ago now), I have connected naps with depression and guilt, and weight gain!

But today I was tired. I lifted weights and then did the elliptical for 25 minutes and then was just plain tired. I could write a long list of reasons why today it was okay to nap, but I won't. It doesn't matter, really. So, I've decided that I can take a nap now and then and just let it go. I won't go back to napping everyday. I've got too much to do and napping draws me away from staying aware, present and ALIVE! And, there is the matter of not burning very many calories while napping.

So now it's time for my water workout. That makes me feel very much alive!

190.0 "The Power of a Gentle Nudge"

There was a great article in the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday, May 18th about a study that was done at Stanford. The aim of the study was to learn if having a buddy or a support person or even computer voice checking in with folks about how they were doing with their exercise program helped people make it over to the gym more often. What the study discovered is that those folks who had a real person calling them and people who heard a computer voice asking how they were doing both did much better than those who didn't have any kind of support. ("The Power of a Gentle Nudge", by Kevin Helliker, page D1.)

I've mentioned this before and wanted to write about it again in light of this study. If you need someone to care how you are doing, someone to check in with, find a friend or a support person like a physical trainer, a therapist or a nutritionist. If they don't offer, ask if they will give you a call now and then to inquire about how you are doing. Or, I could be that person for you. Send me an email at smbmiller@cox.net and I'll nudge you either with an email or phone call, whatever you prefer. I can always use help, too, so maybe we can help each other.

So, that's it for now. I am off to do the elliptical!

188.4 It Was The Salt!

We have house guests so I will make this short!

Two things are on my mind...since I dropped more than a pound overnight, I can say with confidence that it was the salt and I will not make the mistake of overdosing on pickles ever again! I promise!

And, this morning I broke my all time high elliptical record and was on it for 34 minutes! When I think back to my post entitled "Climbing Mt. Everest", written last November, in which I detailed the exhaustion and pain of working out on it for less than one minute, I am filled with smiles!

Have a great weekend, everybody. Since our friends will be here until Tuesday, I may not post everyday, but who knows?

187.8 Sometimes, Sometimes...

Sometimes I wish I had never started this blog with the idea that I would post my weight everyday. Today, for example, is not a good way to follow yesterday's rejoicing that I had finally gotten down to 187.0. I know, I know, our weight fluctuates, etc., but I probably would rather just post my weight whenever I reach a new low, and not make public all the roller coastering I do. But I am aiming to make this a very authentic reflection of what this weight loss adventure encompasses, and that in fact, we are all faced with these ups and downs as we work on weight loss.

The good news is that I just returned from a half hour on the elliptical. I was going to stop after 25 minutes, but got lost in watching Oprah and before I knew it, I was at the 30 minute point. So the question to myself is, why did I stop there? Why didn't I push a little harder, a little longer? I'm not sure, but think it is time to up the ante and see if I can go longer, maybe a lot longer. Sometimes, I do things that don't really make sense when I think them through and this is one of those times. Sometime soon, I hope I'll be writing about a lower weight and a longer time on my dear old friend, the elliptical.