182.8 Acceptance and Confidence

I'm just learning to accept that going out with friends often ends with two things...having a great time, and a little bump up. I also know that I can get it headed down so there is just more confidence and acceptance.

Yes, I do want to get rid of the 10 plus pounds, but even with that, I am not going to throw myself into a whirlwind of desperation. I just came back from the Y and my favorite elliptical and am just breathing easier. I'll take this new place I'm in... at least for today :).

Remembering and Acknowledging Change - It's Hard!

As one of my friends wrote, this has been a very bittersweet time for us. Spending that wonderful time with our daughters, Jud, Scott, and little Zuzu was so much fun. As a family, we all get along so well and really enjoy being together. I'm so glad we were able to spend that time in Bar Harbor with the fam!

Attending the memorial service for our friend was hard. The service was very nice and it was good to see JJ's wife and family and the friends that we had in common. When we arrived in LA, we drove around UCLA for old times' sake. But nothing is ever the same and I always want it to be. (And the sun wasn't shining - in my mind's eye it was always sunny at UCLA!) UCLA has grown and the old UCLA Med Center where I worked to help put myself through school is no longer standing. The Medical Center is now many centers and that original building has been replaced. Westwood, the "village" of LA where UCLA stands is nothing like I remember it. There are high rises where my favorite coffee shop was, and the shops are very different. We then drove out to Pacific Palisades to stay with my dear friend Barbara (from UCLA days) and her husband Fred. Barbara and I have known each other since 1961! Now that's a long time. We had a great visit with them, as usual.

175.5 Staying Put and Moving On

We are a realtor's nightmare. Between Jeff and me, we know exactly what we want in a new home and we agree with each other on almost every aspect. In other words, we are quite inflexible.:) We need a very specific site for the pool so there will be a lot of sun on it for most of the year. And we want an open kitchen/great room combination, rather than a separate kitchen, dining room and living room area. And we want good views, low maintenance, and a great neighborhood. Hmm...I think I've just described our house!

So why are we looking? We think we want one more room and a little more storage. What we have learned in this search process is that we don't want to leave our community. We've lived here for almost six years and love the people, the beauty of the area, and we feel settled. Our realtor is going to continue to keep us in mind as new things come on the market. Maybe she'll find that perfect home, but the biggest obstacle in the search is that we aren't sure we really want to move.

It's about change, something I've written about many times in this blog. It is hard to make new friends at our age. We don't have the magnet of children to attract folks. When we had our little kids all I had to do was take them out for a walk and we'd come home with all sorts of connections and soon to be friends. We have Charlee and she is adorable and dynamic, but maybe not an easy friend maker. One of my friends told me that when she was ill, close friends as well as people she hardly knew were there to help her in any way they could. I don't think that automatically comes with the perfect floor plan very often.

175.6 Susan's Gainin' !

But it's okay, I'm telling myself. We spent ten days in Boston eating out often twice a day and so I'm actually experiencing a great sense of relief that I didn't gain more. And I feel like I know what to do to get back down in the 170 range. I think that this is how my life will be now...enjoying my vacations, and eating out with friends and family and then getting right back on track. Last night it was chicken and spinach and fresh berries. Not too shabby, and oh so healthy.

We had a great time in Boston, seeing our family and friends, many of whom we hadn't seen since Miranda's wedding. Today I'm feeling so much gratitude for the friends in my life and my dear family.

173.2 Upside Down and Crazy

Two of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer during the past 4 weeks, and I’m worrying about whether I’m gaining or losing 2/10th to 4/10th of a pound. It all seems so upside down and crazy.

171.6 Old Friends

Today I had breakfast with my walking buddy Linda, but instead of walking, we ate breakfast together. It was just too cold and windy to walk. It was great to see her again and to get caught up. I really am aware that when I see old friends after being apart for awhile, that there's a rhythm that we find ourselves returning to, and off we go. We are going to walk for sure on Monday, when the temperature promises to be in the low 70's. I think we can manage that just fine.

And I met up with a second old friend today, my Wii Fit Plus workout program. I hadn't done it or had breakfast with it :) in almost 150 days. Now that's a long time, but explainable because I have tended to use it when the weather is too hot to be outside. And just like seeing Linda again, I quickly got in the rhythm of it and off I went. I want to write that I was just awesome doing all of the workouts, but that wasn't true. However, after some false starts, it became clear that if I stood up straight and used my abs to support me I did much better. In fact I did better than I have ever done on a few of the workouts. So now I can hardly wait to try again tomorrow to see if I can't get even higher scores. Like I've said before, I love the Wii Fit. We're going to continue to be best friends forever and get together a lot more often.

181.2 Being Engaged!

Some days I am obsessed about writing my blog and know exactly what I'm going to write. Today is not one of those days. I cooked, as in I made something from scratch that had more that 3 ingredients, and a friend came over for lunch and I helped her with jewelry projects, and I had a therapeutic massage, and then driving home, I realized that I hadn't written a post for my dear blog today, and in about a half hour we are having friends over for a glass of wine (read water in my case) before we head out to dinner.

The good news is that I was engaged in life today rather than being engaged with my computer all day. I do think that I may have a small case of computer addiction and know that I can waste a lot of time sort of lurking on it.

There is no bad news. Being engaged in an active life with other folks is a wonderful way to spend a day.

189.8 Okay, Judy, You're On!

I don't know how many people I've told about my blog and I never know if they will read it once they hear about it. But today I got an email from a dear fried who has been reading it, and has been losing weight. Now we are both at the same weight and are going to "sprint to the finish" together. I wrote a post way back when I started this blog called A Letter To Judy, 9/9/09. Judy and I have been friends for, let's see, about 25 years. She is now an ordained minister and has a church in the Boston area. Anyway, I didn't realize that she had been involved with this weight loss adventure until today's email. So now I have a partner and the fun begins. I'll share any insights/tips she might have that she's put to work for her. Okay, Judy, here we go to 170!

210.6 Looking Back and Forward

Yes!  I arrived home weighing less than when I left for Italy, and I have finally reached that elusive 210 number.  How did I do it?  I spent a lot of energy worrying about how I was doing weight -wise.  I would go over each thing I ate, how much, etc., and made it hard work.  Looking back, I think I could have lightened up a bit and trusted myself and my inner spirit to make the right decisions and not been so obsessed with food during the trip.  Jennifer talks a lot about the fact that discipline plays a big part  in her approach to weight loss, rather than effort.  That discipline was obviously at work and I now know that I can truly trust it to keep me moving forward toward my weight loss goal.  I spent 16 days away from home, eating at least two meals a day in restaurants, and I lost weight.  That would not have happened had I not been involved in this weight loss program.

What I also learned on this trip is that travel is about a lot more than food!  While in Italy, we visited six hill towns and found them charming and great opportunities for exercise whether we wanted to or not! I didn't realize that when these towns were referred to as hill towns, it meant that vertical climbs were everywhere!  The beauty of the Tuscan countryside was astounding.  We drove by acres of olive trees, their gray-green leaves contrasting with the bright green grass that surrounded them, a sight I will never forget.  And, the vineyards with their grape laden vines ready for harvest were spectacular.  The big dark purple grapes reminded me of beads that would work up into beautiful necklaces.  The hill towns themselves, perched up on cliffs to provide protection from invaders hundreds of years ago, were sources of beauty, history and charm.

In addition to this, we had a very special time while we were visiting our daughters and their partners in the Boston area for a couple of days before heading back home.  While waiting for my very dear friend Betsy at a funky breakfast place in Wellesley, I ran into three friends from our Wellesley church community, and later that day we took a walk down Central Street in Wellesley and saw one of our pastors! The night before these encounters we were surprised to see a friend who lives in Beverly Hills in a local restaurant in Wellesley.  All coincidences?  I am not sure about that, but I do know that these encounters were the perfect ending to a wonderful vacation.  So, travel is not all about food!  It is about renewal, spiritual and physical, and enlarging our view of our world and ourselves.