Aloha

"There are two main types of sugar that occurs naturally in foods like vegetables and fruits, and refined sugars and syrups (aka simple sugar), which are added to foods for sweetness. Added sugar is any sugar that does not naturally occur in the food like the sugar in holiday cookies and cakes. Extra sugar increases your blood sugar quickly, causing the proteins in your body to be less functional and, as a result, directly aging your immune and arterial systems and even your joints, explains Dr. Mike Roizen, chief wellness officer at the Cleveland Clinic. A food is likely to be high in added sugar if one of the following substances is first or second in the list of ingredients (or if several of them are present): brown sugar, corn sweetener, dextrose, fructose, fruit juice concentrate, glucose, honey, invert sugar, lactose, maltose, molasses, raw sugar, sucrose, table sugar. Also watch out for concentrated fruit juice and expeller-pressed organic rice extract.". This quote is from the Cleveland Clinic newsletter posted Dec. 4th.

Whenever I see the word aging it jumps out at me, and I never thought of sugar as causing aging unrelated to weight gain. I am really struggling with my weight and as I write this I am sitting at the breakfast table at a gorgeous resort on the Big Island, HI. I know this sounds childish, but I am angry that I still have to be so in control of every bite. But as I've learned over that past year, if I don't pay careful attention, I gain weight. I've been going back to listening to my Jennifer Scott CDs, doing a lot of self talk, and just saying no to unhealthy food, wine, and macadamia nuts. (They are everywhere here.) My rational voice tells me that if that's all I have to complain about, I have it pretty easy. And I do!

Returning To The New

Sometimes it's the obvious that gets forgotten. Once I reached my goal weight, I quit listening to the weight loss hypnosis CDs that Jennifer Scott had made for me. And as I've been struggling to stop gaining weight and getting back somewhere near that goal weight, I've finally focused on the fact that I haven't been following some basic ideas that I took to heart with great seriousness as I was in the weight loss mode. So yesterday I made new signs that are now adorning the refrigerator and the interior of the pantry, and I've started listening to the CDs. I felt such a difference yesterday as I approached food, and this morning the old phase "eat half" was at play in my brain and it was automatic once again. I'm hoping that I've found some new/old ways to help me regain that courage and strength as I face what I am really understanding has been a truth all along and that is I really am addicted to using food to blot out emotional ups and downs.

176.0 Sitting Pretty!

I'm sitting in a spa sipping a skinny latte from Starbucks. It's the booby prize since the aesthetician I was scheduled to see is a no show. I'm disappointed since Linda and I planned this event several weeks ago in our ongoing battle against aging. We got in on a great promotion that included the elusive facial and an hour long massage. Linda is getting her massage as I write and I don't know if she will be able to have a facial or not. Just when you think you've planned so nothing can go wrong....

What I'm more blown away by than the no show aesthetician is how young most of the customers are and how young all of the employees are. Why wasn't I getting facials on a regular basis in my thirties? (Probably because I wasn't living in Scottsdale, AZ!) Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't be facing this face if I had been.

Well, the outcome couldn't have been better. Linda got her facial. I did get a massage, a wonderful massage that ended with my feet wrapped in hot towels. And, I wasn't charged for the massage. Furthermore I walked out with a gift certificate for a free facial. Maybe plans aren't all they are cracked up to be. I'm sitting pretty (except for the pop up in my weight :( - lots of reasons, no good excuses)!

173.2 Upside Down and Crazy

Two of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer during the past 4 weeks, and I’m worrying about whether I’m gaining or losing 2/10th to 4/10th of a pound. It all seems so upside down and crazy.

176.4 If I Could, I Would

Sometimes I wonder just what I am thinking, or how is it that I don't bother to think at all! Yesterday I ate very sensibly, healthily, with all good intentions of getting my weight back into the very low 170 pound range. Then I decided that going to P. F. Chang's for dinner sounded like a great idea. But you can't go there and not eat food that contains sodium, no matter what you order. And high sodium for me means weight gain. What's really funny/pathetic is that the guy sitting next to me at the bar ordered soup (loaded with sodium) and then poured about half a bottle of soy sauce into it. And then he ordered a thick saucy dish on which he poured the remaining soy sauce. As I'm watching this, I'm thinking to myself that he's killing himself with all the salt/sodium! I wanted to nicely tell him that, but in my wisdumb didn't say a word :). And now Miss Goody Two Shoes is up two pounds after eating what I thought was "controlled":) sodium.

If I could cry, I would cry at this weight gain. What was I thinking?

176.0 Susan's Gainin'

I wasn't going to write the blog today. I think I should rename it Susan's Gainin'! I am so upset with myself. I can't blame anyone or anything including the scale.

But I did have fun last night. We were at a big gathering, sitting with good friends and I drank wine, ate Italian food and Jeff said I hadn't looked so relaxed and been so much fun in years.

So there you go! I did walk very fast this morning for about 45 minutes. And, I'm trying to put it all into perspective and at the same time figure out how I can be in a good healthy, happy place.

174.8 Worrying And Wondering!

Today's motivational photo! Yikes, that's all I have to lose!





I just got off the scale... and I have to admit that I also just experienced one of those "ah-ha moments"! Why do I not like that phrase? That and "spot on" make my teeth curl! Anyway, here's the insight that fought its way into my consciousness! Are you ready? Am I ready to reveal this rather obvious insight? Lately, when I get on the scale, it's been all about worrying about how much I've gained rather than wondering about how much I've lost! I think this current way of thinking is reserved for those who have attained the maintenance level (sort of like nirvana, maybe?) rather than those of us who want to be in the losing mode. Maybe I need a new hypnosis CD? Or at least an attitude tune-up? :) Just a thought...! (Jennifer has taught me how to do both of these things in her quest to help me be more independent, so it's up to me!)

175.0 OMG!

OMG! This is sooooo hard! Hang in there with me! I'll reach that 170 mark!

Have a great weekend!

179.9 So, There You Go!

My dog Charlee wants me to share my raw carrots with her. I do give her snap peas, but raw carrots? I don't think so. My kids used to choke on raw carrots when they were little, and Charlee is very little.

It was the salt! That's all I can think of that caused my weight to jump up again. Last night we took Greek olives, marinated mushrooms, artichoke hearts, etc. for an appetizer at the party we went to. The platter looked gorgeous and it all tasted great, and it was all low calorie, but not low salt. Since the other appetizer was brie with fig jam, I stuck to the salt laden foods that we brought.

Night before last, we took a platter of all fresh veges to another party. You know, sometimes, I just want something different, and so there you go! Don't you think salt is better than fat over the long haul?

So that's why I am crunching on raw carrots tonight, and no Charlee, I'm not giving in.

185.0 Vacation Toll

I like to think of weight gained on vacation as simply part of the journey, just like the toll roads that we find ourselves on as we go from place to place. I was going to write that I have never lost weight on a vacation, but that's not true. After my first meeting with Jennifer, I headed off to a cooking school in Mexico for a week, and came home weighing two pounds less than when I left. Let me tell you, I did believe that Jennifer was going to be able to help me when that happened. I frequently listened to the hypnosis CD that she made for me at that first appointment and I know that that helped me begin to learn how to think about dealing with food. Let's see, that was 65 pounds ago! Yep, I think she has a great weight loss program!

So now I'm back to taking care of myself, planning my own meals, and eating just what I want to eat. It's funny how Jeff has been caught up in all of this, too. Today he did the shopping and came home with cherries and Fiber One Honey Crunch cereal just for me! (Oh, and a big bouquet of roses, too!) As I've written before, what a guy!

I went to my chiropractor this morning who kiddingly said that I really shouldn't go on anymore vacations since I always come limping into his office upon my return. And I saw my dear massage therapist who laughingly said that it was a good thing I didn't have the body of a 60+ year old or I'd really be in trouble. She has seen me through about 40 pounds of the weight loss and has commented many times that my body has gotten younger and stronger, not just smaller through this process. I feel truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life sharing in this adventure!

184.4 Grand Honey Hits Six Flags!

We're back from Six Flags in St. Louis and the boys loved it, and of course, we had a great time watching them have so much fun. A lot of the time was spent at the water park there because it was REALLY hot, and REALLY humid which we are no longer used to.

Since I am not big on roller coaster type rides and spinning around for dear life, I did a lot of people watching, which was a lot safer and very interesting. I did gain a pound, but with the food choices available, I did okay. I was on a search for fruit in the park and that was not on any menu, and you couldn't take food in.

I think a little of the let down has set in after so much activity and fun with Ted and Lynsey and the boys. Now to get back into the world of healthy eating and exercise! We did have a great time!

What was so cute and fun was that Julien, the 4 year old, started calling me Grand Helper (instead of Grandma) and then he changed that into Grand Honey! So Grand Honey will get back on track and go for her goal!

185.4 The Lure of a Nap

I just woke up from a very delicious nap! I slept for about an hour and a half. I should have written that I woke up from a very long, delicious nap. I always feel a little guilty when I take a nap, and so I rarely do... now. I used to suffer from severe depression and I devoted every afternoon to sleeping for long periods of time. Ever since that time (which was a long time ago now), I have connected naps with depression and guilt, and weight gain!

But today I was tired. I lifted weights and then did the elliptical for 25 minutes and then was just plain tired. I could write a long list of reasons why today it was okay to nap, but I won't. It doesn't matter, really. So, I've decided that I can take a nap now and then and just let it go. I won't go back to napping everyday. I've got too much to do and napping draws me away from staying aware, present and ALIVE! And, there is the matter of not burning very many calories while napping.

So now it's time for my water workout. That makes me feel very much alive!

199.0 Hangin' In There

I am writing this first thing in the morning and I am in a funk! I thought I was on my way down without these mega jumps on the scale. Obviously, that isn't true. Knowing me through this blog or as a friend, you know that I have put out all sorts of reasons why this occurs, blaming it on salt, lack of exercise, what I did the night before or what I did 2 days earlier. And you know what the truth is...I don't know.

So what do I know? That I am mad and now instead of eating when I get mad, I tend to become more determined to hold the course. And I am embarrassed. These are the times when I wish I didn't do this blog because I am putting my struggles out there for all to see.

So dear followers and first timers, hang in there with me. Using hypnosis, staying present, listening to my inner spirit and exercising, how can I not lose more weight? And, knowing you are in this with me helps so much to keep me going.

198.6 Discomfort With Comfort Food

I really like to eat when I am sick. Unless I am nauseated, eating is one of the few good aspects of being sick. With this throat thing, I am not feeling sick to my stomach and I am missing the good old days (?) which led to a huge weight gain. I really wanted something cold today in spite of the fact that I had the chills last night and then woke up in the middle of the night in the midst of what my husband refers to as the condition of "the fever breaking". It reminded me of my old hot flashes that would interrupt my sleep...frequently. So today, when I was not sleeping or watching bad TV, I was thinking about the food I used to eat when I was sick. As a kid, my folks would buy Byerly Soda. I don't know if this was a local soda company, but it was a bubbly version of fruit juice with loads of added sugar. The only time they bought it was when one of us was sick. The other thing I remember is my mom making boiled custard that I would drink warm from a glass. I imagine it was an attempt to get lots of protein, along with sugar and milk, in me. Today I just wanted ice cream. We have Weight Watchers Ice Cream Bars in the freezer for Jeff. So far, I have never had even one. They are just too small to warrant eating the 100 extra calories. So, I finally remembered that you can buy fruit bars flavored with sweetener instead of sugar so, thanks to Jeff, I now have a stash of those. I have no clue what flavor the one I had was, but it felt great on my throat. Dreyers Fruit Bars @ only 25 calories!

When I was working at a college infirmary a few years ago there were special diets recommended for various illness. None of them featured boiled custard. None of them featured anything that came close to what I would call comfort food. But the students did get better. When I'm sick, somehow an apple just doesn't do it for me, nor does rice. I think I'll go get another fruit bar.

202.4 Viva Las Vegas!

Well, maybe it was just the salt, or at least I can blame some of the weight gain yesterday on the salt since I was down a pound this morning! I am munching on a delicious apple right now. We had breakfast at our favorite breakfast place after we dropped our dog off at the pet sitter. I had my standard spinach and feta omelette and one pancake and then didn't have lunch so now I am hungry. Also, it is an hour earlier here in Las Vegas than in AZ, so a lot of time has gone by since I ate.

I am laughing to myself about our room situation. Our room at the Bellagio is free because we got a special offer based on the fact I had a recent birthday. We have the room for two nights and it is beautiful. But, there is a but! When we checked in, the only non-smoking room that was available (read for free) was located in the new Spa Tower which is several miles by foot from the lobby.:) In the past I would have been ticked off about this, but now, with my change of mind, I am just looking at it as a great source of exercise. And, it is a lot further from all of the gambling activity than the rooms in the main building here, so that is probably a good thing, too.

So we are off to go get some dinner and then see Andrea Bocelli. I wonder if he has to worry about what he eats! Just as I am finishing this, a bell man just brought us a complimentary box of eight truffles! Oh, my!

201.4 Pride Goeth Before The Gain

I guess I knew in my heart that my weight would probably bounce up a little once I made a big deal about reaching 200! But, if I look at the history of this weight loss, it is certainly not a straight line.

Today I taught my last ESL class until late January and the class members brought food that is typical of their country of origin for an end of semester party. Wow! What a wonderful buffet! There were frog legs and escargots from the French student, Pad Thai, Spring Rolls, and a Tofu dish prepared by the sister (and former restaurant owner) of a student from Thailand, there were several Middle Eastern dishes brought by folks from Iran, Morocco, and Pakistan, and more. Of course, they all wanted me to try everything, and have seconds, and it was very hard. I did take very small portions of each offering, and then I just took a deep breath and reassured myself that I should enjoy the delicious flavors and leave a little of each thing I put on my plate. And, that's what I did. I will have a very light dinner!

Yesterday when I blogged about being on the elliptical I forgot to write that my physical therapist likened working out on the elliptical to running rather than walking and that is why I get so winded so quickly. Tomorrow I see her again and I know she will want me to up my time on it. I can't exactly write "no problem", but I do know I will increase my time.

And now I have to get back to work on my grandson Julien's Christmas stocking!