176.4. Trying to Make Sense of It!

Sometimes I wonder whether it's me or everyone else. Food issues aren't all consuming on this trip but I am trying to stay the course. So the other night we ended up at a little tavern as it called itself and after wading through myriad hamburger variations, pizza choices, wraps, sandwiches, and so on, I settled on what was listed as the bunless burger with a small green salad. Sounds like a decent choice, right? Well, I thought so and just laughed out loud when it was placed in front of me. Yes, the burger was bunless but I could hardly see it because it was overwhelmed by enough French fries to solve the hunger problem in America! Wouldn't you think that someone who wanted a bunless burger would also want to be in a French fry free zone?

My brother in law Phil sent this link to an interesting article that I want to share. The article and the video are worth the time.
http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/06/10-foods-that-drive-weight-gain-and-loss-identified-by-harvard/240933/

Susannah is thriving and once I can get to a computer rather than this iPad I'll post more pictures!

176.2 Susannah and me!

It has been a whirlwind 5 days since I arrived in Boston to meet Susannah! She is adorable, and we are all delighting in her newborn gestures, facial expressions, and posturing. I know it's all about ego, but I find myself looking for traits we share. I decided that she has my longs legs and arms, my hair color, and on and on. It's silly I know. I am not the only one in her extended family that has long arms and long legs. I wonder why I need/want to see myself in her.

And, I'm wondering how we ever got along without all of the equipment and new thinking about taking care of newborns that my daughter and her husband find themselves imbued with and surrounded by. But it is all good. I wish we had had a diaper genie, wipes for crying out loud, swaddling wraps that stay in place even when the baby kicks, car seats that support and protect the baby, etc.

So here is a picture of my newest grandchild. You do see the resemblance, right?

I can hardly wait for her to get to know her cousins, Lennox, Alex, and Julien.

177.8 An Important Conversation

Tomorrow we leave for Boston to meet little Susannah! There's so much I want to tell her about her world. I remember holding my grandsons when they were newborns and having this conversation with each of them. It's about how much they are already loved, how special they are, and how happy we are to have the chance to enjoy them as members of our family. It's about the aunts and uncles (including greats) and cousins who are all so special who want to share their worlds with her. I've got so much to tell Susannah. And if she falls asleep while I'm telling her how excited I am to get to know her in my lifetime, I'll just keep talking. This is an important conversation :).

So, I may write a few posts while we are in Boston. Please keep checking in. There might even be a picture or two!

177.8 The Quinine Connection!

I'm not sure if I've complained about leg cramps in this blog, but ever since my first back surgery almost 8 years ago, I've been plagued with them at night. A few weeks ago my cousin suggested that I drink (diet) tonic water because it contains quinine. His doctor suggested quinine/tonic water to him for leg cramps. So I started drinking it and the leg cramps diminished and then disappeared. Since I am of the school that if a little is good, probably a lot is better I drank more of it, and was really using it to stay hydrated in the hot sun out here. But then a few days ago, I had the sensation that something was going on with my lips and my face around my mouth, and Jeff confirmed that my face was in fact swollen. At that time I decided I had eaten too many mangoes so I stopped that but still had the problem. This morning as I was drinking the tonic water it dawned on me that maybe that was the cause. I went on line and there is a lot written about allergies to quinine. So, now, about those leg cramps....

(I'm getting ready to go out to the pool. I've checked for dead voles and night frogs. The coast is clear. Oh, I did want to say that night frogs are at least 6 inches long, not including their legs in case you pictured little 2 inch frogs.)

177.5 Do I Have To Share?

Recently I have had some upsetting times in my pool. I would be doing my Mamma Mia thing, singing and doing my workout and look over and see a dead vole (like a big mouse) floating near me. I'd fly out of the pool and get Jeff to remove it. I felt sorry for the poor animal that obviously had struggled before giving up the ghost, and it totally creeped me out. Yesterday Jeff told me there was a huge night frog in the pool. He used a net and got it and threw it over the wall. So today I checked for voles, dead voles, and I checked for night frogs, dead or alive, and saw neither so got in the pool and started my workout. After a while my eye was drawn to the filter area and I thought I saw something, but then talked myself out of it and kept going. When I looked again, a frog was staring back at me, sort of hanging out in my pool.

Did he think it was his pool? I was out of that pool faster than I've ever moved and when I gathered my wits, I started to laugh. Even though night frogs are huge as frogs go, it was a lot smaller than I am. Jeff was napping after a morning of golf so I let him sleep. I screwed up my courage and got back in. As I was trying so hard to be okay with everything, that blue and white filter thing bumped into my back and I was sure it was the frog so I flew out of the pool again.

Jeff finally came out and used the hot pink noodle to trap the frog in the filter system and was able to get it out.

It is now living on the golf course. I don't play golf so I don't have to worry about sharing the golf course with him.

What this has to do with weight loss, I have no idea, but if moving more quickly than I ever dreamed I could burned up some extra calories, let's hear it for the frog.

177.0 Bottling Happiness

I wish I could bottle the feelings of happiness I have today. There are lots of reasons for this joy I feel, including the presence of this new little granddaughter in our lives. I've been thinking about something new to do with my life. Maybe bottling happiness would be a great, new venture for me.

I wish happiness to you all today and forever. I know... if wishes were horses then all would ride! Let's go riding!

177.2 What A Difference A Day Makes

It is amazing how many changes occur in less than a day in the life of a newborn. She was able to lose 9 ounces and I was able to gain about that.

I just came back from attacking the elliptical. To tell the truth, it was hard today to stick with it. It seemed like I never got in the zone. I've got to get a plan set up so that I can work out while I'm in Boston helping my daughter. Having a schedule and keeping in control of my eating will help me stay conscious, aware of what I'm doing. It is very circular, I've learned. If I have everything in place, things stay in place. If I let things get a little haphazard, it can all fall apart.

And now I have even more motivation to stay fit and more slender. I had three very precious reasons and now I have 4... wonderful grandchildren.

176.4 TaDa!

Susannah Charlotte Wolfskill arrived very early this morning in excellent health! We are so excited! She was named for her dad's mom, Suzanne, and for me! And, her middle name is in honor of Jeff's mom. When I talked to Miranda a couple of hours after Zuzu (as they call her) was born it made me so happy to hear her say, "Mom, I just love her!" As one of their friends wrote, "Welcome to the world Susannah! There is so much love coming your way!" Susannah is one lucky, loved little baby already!

177.2 Great Article/Interview

Here's a great article about food, money, Oprah, Geneen Roth, and Jean Fain. Jean Fain is a hypnotherapist in the Boston area. You can read more about her with links from the article. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jean-fain-licsw-msw/oprah-diet-money_b_870806.html

It's funny. Last night we went to a prime rib dinner at our golf course restaurant. I called ahead and asked if I could be served salmon instead, and they were very accomodating. The problem was that the salmon was extremely salty and I was extremely hungry and so I ate it. I think that's where the devil resides in my weight gain.

It is so beautiful out here right now. I hope your world is beautiful, too.

176.6 Staying With The Program

I subscribe to a program called Lumosity (www.lumosity.com) that is a brain training site. When I first started it my score was very low, so low I won't even think about revealing it! But over time I had gained over 600 (!) points and was feeling competent! With all of the recent traveling, I fell off the Lumosity wagon and just didn't do it.

Today I went back to it and had lost ground in every category. It really proves that no matter what you are trying to achieve, practice and staying with the program is essential. How is it that I wander so far away from what I know is good for me? That wonderful word discipline just popped into this rather lackadaisical brain of mine. Discipline in weight loss, exercise, brain training, and other areas where improvement is desired is key! I really get it now!

176.6 Elliptical Event

Today is a big day! I got back on the elliptical after a long time being away from it. And, it felt good, I could do it, and I definitely need to get back in the habit. I went to our new YMCA and was so happy to see so many teenagers working out with friends and, in some cases, with parents. What a gift to our community this new center is!

177.0 Playing The Waiting Game

I asked my husband Jeff if he had any ideas about what I could write about today. He suggested writing about how we are relating to the Dr. Suess story of Horton Hatches The Egg. We are waiting for our daughter Miranda to have her baby and we have absolutely no control over when this will happen. And, she has no control over the baby's arrival either. It's funny about how much we think we control in our lives and yet so much is out of our control. Miranda has told the baby that she can come any time now. Everything is ready and everyone is ready, especially Miranda! But just like in the Dr. Suess tale, Miranda and we are at the whim of the baby.

It's very exciting and one of the reasons I wanted to lose all of this weight was so that I could play with my grandchildren, really enjoy being engaged with them in their activities. There are some things I still can't do because of my back, but more importantly, there are lots of things I can now participate in with my grandsons. And now I am ready to hold, and love this new dear one. Come on Baby. We are ready to give you a joyous welcome!

178.0 The Spirit Piece

Within the posts of this blog I have often referred to Jennifer Scott, my spiritual and clinical hypnotherapist, and the impact she has had on my life, both with the weight loss and spiritual awakening. Jennifer just wrote an ebook called That's The Spirit. Go to Amazon kindle and put in Jennifer Scott That's The Spirit and check it out. And yes, there is a bit about me in it :). I am quite awestruck that she was able to do this and had the courage to share her story!

Moving here was such a shot in the dark and yet I marvel at all the wonderful people I have met out here. It really wasn't a shot in the dark. I believe I am exactly where I am meant to be, and am living a very exciting life, one I had never dreamed of.

178.2 Wearing The Fat and Feeling It

I can feel this weight and I don't like it. This is good! When I got so heavy in the past, I totally numbed out, decided clothing manufacturers were scrimping on fabric and making clothes smaller, and went into total denial. It's funny to me when I see what I've just written because it seems impossible. But sadly it was possible. Today in the grocery store that includes a Starbucks, a woman who had to weigh between 350 and 400 pounds was happily chatting up the Starbucks' gal. It really stuck me how we all can pretend nothing is wrong. The heavy woman was in a motorized scooter for the disabled and I don't know what was wrong with her in addition to her weight. What I do know is that no one wants to be that heavy, or as heavy as I was. It's the denial piece that probably saves us but at the same time gets in our way.

So yesterday, even in my jet lag haze, I stayed very present about what I ate, did my pool workout, and drank lots of water. (No, I didn't make it over to the Y to do the elliptical.) And today I am still very much on track. I don't like how this feels. Let's hear it for being in touch with feelings, all kinds of feelings.

179.0 I'm Back

We had a great time being with our son's family in Arkansas and then with our daughters and their partners in the Boston area! The wedding we attended in Wellesley was simply wonderful. We saw a lot of friends that we'd known for up to 30 years. Both the bride and groom are students at the Yale Divinity School and were able to serve communion to the wedding guests. There was something very special about being a part of that experience since I'd known the bride since she was an infant.

On a very serious note, I have got to get with the program. I know some of the weight is fluid since even this morning my feet are still swollen. I'm going to head to the Y and the elliptical machine and see if I can't get everything moving. It's good to be back home.

But, we won't be home for long since our daughter Miranda is expecting a baby within the next few weeks. We will head back to the Boston area once she decides she needs us :). Here's a picture taken this past weekend.