178.2 Wearing The Fat and Feeling It

I can feel this weight and I don't like it. This is good! When I got so heavy in the past, I totally numbed out, decided clothing manufacturers were scrimping on fabric and making clothes smaller, and went into total denial. It's funny to me when I see what I've just written because it seems impossible. But sadly it was possible. Today in the grocery store that includes a Starbucks, a woman who had to weigh between 350 and 400 pounds was happily chatting up the Starbucks' gal. It really stuck me how we all can pretend nothing is wrong. The heavy woman was in a motorized scooter for the disabled and I don't know what was wrong with her in addition to her weight. What I do know is that no one wants to be that heavy, or as heavy as I was. It's the denial piece that probably saves us but at the same time gets in our way.

So yesterday, even in my jet lag haze, I stayed very present about what I ate, did my pool workout, and drank lots of water. (No, I didn't make it over to the Y to do the elliptical.) And today I am still very much on track. I don't like how this feels. Let's hear it for being in touch with feelings, all kinds of feelings.