171.8 Better than Good Enough

On the long road of dieting that I have traveled throughout most of my life, I always knew it was possible to lose some weight. And, I always thought that was good enough. I also knew that I would put weight back on, because that was the only way I knew how to think. It was as if the yo yo syndrome was to be expected, and dealt with as desired :).

What I have learned and practiced through hypnosis during this "weight loss adventure" is that there is a much different, much better result that can be had. I'm really aware of it now as I am in the situation of dealing with so many Christmas treats, parties, dinners out, etc. I have gained a little, but I am not depressed, not frightened by the really small amount of weight gained. I am not saying oh well, here we go again. I am saying okay, get moving, be aware, and enjoy life. I'm saying stay optimistic and full of energy and life and all will be well.

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to a very happy, very healthy New Year!

172.0 The Morning After

When I was much younger and would drink too much at a party or special event, I knew that I would feel awful the next morning and that I would spend the next day "in recovery". That's how I feel today but it is not the result of alcohol. It must be a sugar hangover exacerbated by way too many calories. I literally have that buzzy feeling in my head and an upset stomach and, hello a good pound or two more than I usually carry around as a part of me. Today will be the beginning of some intense recovery work!

But wait. We are leaving on Thursday to go to Memphis to have a late Christmas/New Years celebration with our son's family. Just when I will be getting everything back on track I'll be faced with more opportunities to lose my place, lose my resolve.

I think it's time to just put all that I've learned into practice and hang on for the ride. I've had enough goodies to last until at least next Christmas, so I can do this.

One more thing... in case you didn't see this news clip, it features our 9 year old grandson explaining how he used the Hemlich maneuver to save his friend's life. We are so proud of him. http://www.myfoxmemphis.com/dpp/news/local/good_news/121710-choking-riverdale-student-saved-by-classmate

171.0 Random Acts of Kindness

Sometimes when I start to write a post I don't know quite what I will say. But today I know! And, I should have suspected it was going to be a special morning after being greeted by this gorgeous sunrise.

I ordered breakfast at the Paradise Bakery this morning and as I tried to pay for it I was told it had already been paid for! I, of course, thought the cashier had made a mistake and I was not the person who was supposed to get the breakfast. She assured me that it was meant for me! I was so flustered and happy and wanted to thank the person who had bought my breakfast. She told me that the person wanted to remain anonymous but that she would let "them" know that I appreciated it!

Obviously, I haven't been the recipient of random acts of kindness in the past and now am determined to "pay it forward". What if each of us did something like this once a week or once a month or once a year? I can hardly wait to begin.

Amazing how good this made me feel! Happy Holidays to all!

170.6 Remembering Hitting Plateaus

But now I am delighted with this plateau! It used to throw me under a truck when that was happening while I was trying to lose. I like this new world of maintenance. It is sort of a warm, friendly place to be. Once the holidays are over I will work to get down below 170, a few pounds as a safety net, but for now I am happy with where I am.

As the holidays draw closer, I may not blog every day and I imagine you won't take the time to read every day. So check in now and then and after the dust settles after the first of the year, I 'll get back on track with daily posts.

Hope you are enjoying this wonderful time of year.

170.6 And We Ate Out Last Night

How do I do it :) ? Changes in habits, amounts, hypnosis, and happiness can account for most of it!

Now for the bad news - my back is all messed up. It's a little ironic to me that I finally get all of this weight off thinking it will help my back and my back is laughing at me saying no way! So now I have to go to a physical therapist who specializes in treating cockeyed pelvises. Oh my! But at least there are people who are trained to help people like me and I'm very grateful for that.

And, if you weren't able to see the video, here's a new link:
http://youtube.com/jscotthypnosis

171.0 Seasons in Arizona

You know, a lot of people tell me they could never live in Arizona because they love the four seasons. Well, today we are having fall/winter all wrapped up in one day. And, that's plenty for me. It has been raining steadily but not heavily since I got up this morning. We haven't seen the sun once and it is dark and gloomy and cold. Okay, well, it's 53 degrees. I do suffer from SADD, depression from gray and gloomy so this hasn't been one of my favorite days. But because it is Arizona, I know it won't last. When we were in Boston last week it was like this for all the days we were there. I sound like a spoiled brat and I probably am about this topic, but only this one :).

I used to eat almost continually on days like this, thinking that hot cocoa and cookies would make everything better. I have definitely learned that food does not make things better, unless you haven't eaten for a long time. Then I recommend it highly!

Anyway, hope your day has been bright and sunny, if not warm.

171.0 Getting The Hang of It!

Remember when I was in the losing mode and was so concerned about what was going to happen when I left the safety of my own kitchen when we would travel? We just returned from our wonderful trip to the Boston area and I did just fine.

I am so grateful for the fact that I have gotten over the desire to use food to dampen down my emotions, or to use large amounts of food to celebrate. We ate out three times, had a yummy birthday dinner that Jeff and I cooked that included breaded veal, mashed potatoes and gravy, and peppermint chocolate ice cream pie. With all this tempting food, I just ate half of what I used to eat, if that, and then I found that I was totally satisfied. The hypnosis CDs that Jennifer made for me all included thoughts like that and I wanted to believe that it would happen, but my track record with other diets had been so poor that I just didn't know if I would be able to control my eating after I reached my goal.

What's really cool is that there isn't a big struggle about it all. I just find myself stopping after I've had about half a serving, I automatically say no to bread, or maybe have one slice, and then I forget about it. In old diet times, I used to struggle throughout a whole meal with my desire to eat more bread, have more wine, etc. The struggle has disappeared along with the 80 pounds! Yay! I am so relieved that it just isn't a big deal anymore!

170.8 Breathing Deeply

After blogging yesterday, it came to me that I should have commented on what a complicated and miraculous part of the body the back is. If you look at that picture of the spine that I posted, you have to agree that it is simply amazing.

I've been careful today and things are looking much better. But I won't be hefting luggage tomorrow or even pulling a carry-on. I've learned to love my back and honor it.

I probably won't post for the next week, but check back in around the 15th. Hope everyone is caught up in the joy of the holidays and breathing deeply when the hassles overwhelm the goodness.

170.4 All I Want For Christmas

All I want for Christmas is a super glued back! As I am getting ready for a 6 hour flight to Boston, my back has decided that it wants some attention, negative attention! I know what I did. In my wisdumb, I added a new stretch to my routine and it obviously wasn't a good idea. So I am now moving carefully and will continue to do so tomorrow as I approach that Thursday plane ride! And I want to be in great shape for shopping and enjoying my time with friends and family back there.

Maybe someday you will be able to get your back aligned and then held in place with super-glue! Now that would be some gift!

170.6 Things Really Do Get Easier

Things really do get easier...if you keep at it. I'm one of those people who, especially before the weight loss, would respond either to myself or out loud with "Yeah, right!", to such a pronouncement. But I really have learned over this amazing weight loss journey that it is true. And, now I'd like to return to various times in my life when I simply gave up when things didn't come to me easily. I think of my aborted cello and clarinet lessons. No, I wouldn't have competed with YoYo Ma in my wildest dreams, but I still love the sound of the cello and wish that I could play it.

So what sparked this post today? I was out walking with one of friends and we walked very briskly for an hour. I was thinking about the first time we decided to do this walk and I was really hesitant that I could physically do it. I remember that day very clearly and it wasn't easy, but I did it. Today it was easy and enjoyable and oh, so good for me.

170.4 Being Chased!

Yes, the weight is staying down and life is good. Today I went over to our community center pool to do my workout. There were a few people there so I couldn't sing out like I like to, but it was fine. I wear a swim jacket which keeps me warm enough and I really do look forward to it. This is being written by someone who hated to exercise three years ago!

Anyway, when I first get in the water I jog in place for about 10 minutes to fast songs on my little gismo I attach to my sunglasses. Today while I was jogging to the theme from Mamma Mia and then Voulez-vous, I started thinking about why I do this and why it seems so effortless. And then I got it. I am running as if I am being chased by new symptoms of arthritis in my back, and old age! And I am! And, I intend to keep running in the water so that I win! If I stop moving I know the arthritis will get me, and then old age won't be far behind. Since there was a time when just getting into the pool caused a lot of pain, this is heaven to me.

170.6 Giving Back

Today I was tested, and I passed! At the library craft sale toward the end of the 5 hour stint, I was offered homemade candy and cookies! Without hesitating I said, "No thanks, I can't eat sweets." I don't know what the lovely teenagers who were bringing the goodies around to all of the vendors thought my affliction might be, but after I thanked them, they smiled and moved on to the next table.

So what was going on with me? Absolutely nothing except the truth. Well, my truth. Of course I can eat sweets but I really had no interest in eating what was offered. It did look good, but that good old inner voice spoke up and that was that. My big fear that I would be consumed with cravings and yearnings for all of the things I used to eat all the time has simply not materialized. For that I am extremely grateful.

And now I get to help a friend who wants lose some weight. That's a gift for me. It's about giving back and I'm delighted to have the chance. We're planning to walk together, we'll talk about the journey she is now on, and I know she'll succeed.

(One of my cheerleaders throughout this weight loss thought my blog readers should know I now wear a size one top at Chico's! In this case, my fears have been realized. The bosom is gone!)

170.6 The Holiday Drop Has Occured!

A short post for today - I'm getting back to where I was before Thanksgiving and our San Francisco trip. It wasn't that hard to get back down into the 170 range but I am relieved!

Tomorrow I'm selling my jewelry at a sale benefiting a local library so I'm looking forward to that.

And that is all the news from glorious Arizona!

171.6 The Final Video aka The Last Picture Show!

Here's the video. You may have to copy and paste it into your search engine, I say with authority, not being sure that all the terminology is correct. But hopefully you will know what I am talking about. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQnOat3uFew

As you will see, this video is a little long, but then so was the process of losing all of the weight. Recently Jennifer asked me why it took so long and then I reminded her that I had two surgeries in the midst of the weight loss and we did have to do a lot of mind mending, as I like to call the therapy, so that I would never want to use food to dull my emotions again.

The work that I did with Jennifer involved discovering why I had allowed myself to get so heavy, why I used food to stuff down my emotions and the reasons that I needed to do that. So it took a lot of honest grappling with my past to work toward learning who I really was under all of that fat. I still am reluctant to cry, to grieve, but I am aware that there are some changes in emotional responses that are closer to the surface now and I believe that with time I will become healthier in that regard. I'm still a work in progress, some might say a real piece of work :), but I'm excited to be in this new place now.

172.2 Who Are These Women In The Video?

I'm still waiting for the post holiday drop as I've named it. Perhaps tomorrow... although we are going out to eat with friends tonight and that always seems to slow me down. But I have faith that I'll be back to 170 before too long. I have to get there before we head to Boston next week because that will be another time of eating out, etc.

I used to be so uptight about the ups and downs of weight loss and maintenance, but I am just more comfortable and more accepting of it all now. I can hear Jennifer's voice saying, "Just don't get too comfortable!":)

Jennifer and I have been meeting weekly to talk about the book we want to write and guess where we meet. We meet at a bakery. It's called the Paradise Bakery, and I think that is really cool on several levels. First of all, that I can go into a bakery and not feel possessed by bear claw demons is huge. And, I like the word paradise because that's a good word to use to describe the life I am living now. I feel really blessed by all of the changes.

Today I saw the "final video", the one in which I was hoping to appear alive. And, I do have moments of liveliness, which is good. I'm laughing as I write this because there are also a few moments of not so much aliveness, but they pass quickly :). Once the video is posted on you tube I'll give you the link and you can see it for yourself. Jennifer's husband Donn did a great job of editing most of the death scenes out of it. He was able to integrate some before pictures into the video and it is quite startling to see the comparison. (To be honest, I'm not sure who any of those women in the video are. I'm still in the process of getting used to the present version.)