180.2 Getting Back In The Groove

Is that the same as getting my groove back? I never read the book with the title that alluded to getting the groove back so I hope it's a safe reference :). But I do feel as though I'm beginning to return to the more disciplined life and it feels good. No, I won't make you all gag by saying it feels groovy! Talk about dating myself!

Yesterday, I wrote about doing self hypnosis again and how it didn't involve deprivation or exercise. But in fact during it, increasing exercise and eating carefully became a part of the session. So there I am, lying on the bed in hypnosis and then realized what I had written and what was happening. It did strike me funny.

I went shopping today and was scared to death that nothing would fit me. But all is well on that score so I'm ok. Hope you are too. (And my pedicure definitely fit!)

180.6 Self Hypnosis

One of the things I realize that I have not been doing that was part of the weight loss program that I worked on with Jennifer Scott is self hypnosis. I have written about wanting to get back into that zone of weight loss and hypnosis played a big part in the 80 pound weight loss. So now I have something else to add to my to do list everyday. It is odd that I let that go because it doesn't take more than about 15 minutes, there is no deprivation or exercise involved :), and I know it will help me.

Hmmmm....!

176.4 Not Exactly Tickety-Boo

This morning I received a comment on an earlier post that described it as tickety-boo. I'd never heard that phrase before and Jeff and I had a lot of fun thinking about what it could possibly mean. I was ironing and was wondering if I was in a tickety-boo zone as I methodically moved the iron back and forth to get rid of the wrinkles. Ohhhh, that just reminded me of my face and maybe my wrinkles would respond to a tickety-boo treatment! And, we have already decided that our next dog will be named Tickety-Boo. And, it went on and on.

When I finished the ironing I looked the phrase up and learned, much to my delight, that it's a British term for informal, fine, excellent, in working order as in "that's the ticket". I still love the sound of the word, but Jeff and I had put a much more titillating spin on it by the time we were done.

So, facing the true definiton, my weight gain is definitely not tickety-boo, and I realized that recently I have relaxed a little too much for my own good. I quit eating salad, I quit eating two low calorie, healthy veges every night, I quit reinforcing the idea of not eating after dinner (you do have to make these things habitual, not a one shot hit, Sue), and I started eating more carbs. Let's hear a great big loud DUH! And, how about a loud "What were you thinking"?

Not exactly tickety-boo!

176.2 (yay!) Charlee's Been Hypnotized!

Last night we had a group of friends over for dinner and I asked the gal who had brought a lovely platter of brie, fresh fruit and crackers to put it on our coffee table. She was a little concerned that Charlee might get into it, but I assured her that Charlee would leave it alone and never thought any more about it.

That was last night. This morning I came into my office and was settling down to do my self hypnosis when I looked down and saw this gross looking object in the little cubby where Charlee spends a lot of time. I couldn't fathom what this object was until I reached down to pick it up and realized it was what was left of the brie from last night. Horrified, I scolded Charlee and then suddenly burst out laughing realizing that she had obviously been listening to my morning self hypnosis sessions where I always talk out loud about eating only half, about listening to my body and stopping when I've had enough, etc. This little dog is better at regulating how much she eats than most humans and dogs. Don't dogs usually eat all the goodies that come their way all at once?

So Charlee, good for you. Yes, I've let her out several times this morning and then have to remind her that cheese binds :) as she struggles to relieve herself. Just so it all happens outside, my dear little hypnotized dog! Maybe we could work on some dog behaviors now, Charlee and me.

177.8 Breaking Away!

I've been doing self hypnosis on a regular basis now and find it quite amazing. While doing it, things come into my mind that I haven't previously given any conscious thought to, and it's in some ways startling.

For example, today it came to me that I would no longer eat anything after dinner. I've been writing about night time hunger in this blog forever and yet I have never really found a good solution to it. The message is simple - after I finish eating dinner I won't eat anything until breakfast the next day. Then I won't have to deal at 9:30 at night with decisions about what to eat, how many calories the alternatives contain, and how will it affect what I have eaten all day. What I really believe will happen is that I will break away from an old, bad habit! I think I've always eaten "a little something" before bed almost every night for much of my adult life.

It also came to me while doing this hypnosis today that I didn't need to fear hunger, that if I eat a healthy amount of food every day, I don't need to fear hunger. Hmmm, another novel thought.

Yes, I will probably be hungry for several nights in a row once I start this new regimen, but soon it will disappear like the desire to bite my finger nails or drink wine. What an exciting and liberating thought!

179.4 What Are The Rules?

I've always been a great rule follower. I've been thinking about this whole weight loss journey, and how there have been some rules, like eating 1/2 the usual portion size, and there have been no rules. When I first started seeing Jennifer Scott a couple of years ago, I kept waiting for her to ask me what I ate. She didn't ask, and finally I asked her if she didn't want to know. She didn't. She wanted me to eat smaller portions of what I wanted to eat so that I wouldn't feel deprived, and it has worked. She's made a lot of suggestions about behavioral changes like adding exercise, more exercise, and faster exercise :), but she's never laid down a formula or set of rules for me to follow. Because I have had to devise my own way of moving through this territory to reach my goal, I've discovered the roadblocks, the challenges that I have needed to overcome. She has suggested taking new and different paths like developing the spiritual side of my life, understanding and using hypnosis and self hypnosis, and each of those new paths have been exciting and often very challenging, but because I've done it and learned from figuring out how, the changes have evolved from within. Self understanding has been an unexpected gift resulting from this adventure, and I know that will be the foundation for maintenance once I reach my goal.

194.4 A Simple Pleasure

The other day I was at Costco and had so much fun. For probably 15 to 20 years except for very brief interludes, I have had to shop in the plus size /women's departments in various stores. It was really quite sad and frustrating, especially when we would be at a wonderful resort that had beautiful shops and Jeff would suggest that something in a shop window would look great on me. I loved that he thought that, but I could no more go in and buy something off the rack than fly to the moon.

Shopping at Costco has always meant that Jeff would roam over to the men's golf shirt area and buy a couple of golf shirts. I would feel really bad because for me to buy a couple of golf shirts every now and then meant heading for the specialty shops/department stores for the larger woman or ordering on line, etc., and paying full price. Well, a couple of days ago I went to Costco to buy berries, veges, and a roasted chicken. What did I come out with? The above, plus two fantastic golf shirts, size large, at $11.99 each. I brought them home and you would have thought I had won the lottery. What a simple pleasure!

194.4 Tell Me More

I have frequently been asked this question: How did you start this weight loss? What happened that you were able to take the initiative and begin to change your behavior so the weight started to come off? Now this is a really important question, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about the answer. What happened within me that I finally, after months or years of knowing I needed to lose weight, was able to take the first step and then stick with it?

Today I was having a therapeutic massage and Carole, the wunderkind of massage, said that she knew she was having pain and health issues because of what she was eating and the fact she wasn't getting any exercise. She knew she should change her behavior but she just didn't. After chatting with her about my search for the answer to this question of how you go from thinking about what you need to do to doing it, I think I may have discovered some pieces to the puzzle. You know you need to change because your inner voice/spirit is giving you that information. You hear it - you know it. But then your logical voice pipes up and says but I can't change because... and then you tell yourself all the reasons you can't possibly change and you do nothing. I think that when you make the decision to change, instead of tuning out the inner voice, you welcome it and tune it in at a higher frequency to get rid of the static! You say in effect, "Tell me more. Help me know how to proceed. Be with me as I work to make changes". And, you keep tuning in so that your logical voice can't override your inner voice.

Does this make any sense to you? Have you experienced this or something like it? If you have been able to lose weight, does this ring true for you about how you managed to begin and then stick with it?

This is getting way too long so I will quit now, but I know I'll keep thinking about this and I look forward to your comments.

194.0 The Cake Conundrum

Today I went to PVCC to teach my ESL class. Once I arrived in the classroom one of my new students presented me with two slices of gorgeous looking bundt cake. I thanked her and was really touched by her overture. During the two hours that I taught, I would glance over and see the little baggy with the cake in it wondering how I was going to handle this. After class I thanked her once again and went to the kitchen area where I had to sign out. By now it was 12:15 and I had been working hard for two hours, and yes, I was hungry. Maybe you'll laugh, but I asked my inner spirit how in the world I was going to deal with this cake, and I heard that I should taste it, and then decide what I was going to do with the rest of it. So, I took a bite and slowly chewed it. It was delicious. Although I had thought it was simply chocolate and white cake, it was much more. I could taste cinnamon, I could taste nuts, and I could taste orange. And then I knew that one bite was just the right amount. I threw the rest away and haven't thought about it until now.

What's really cool is that in the old days I really wouldn't have even experienced the flavors until I had eaten most of it, if then. I would have taken large bites, chewed it quickly and swallowed it, ready to take another bite. This small bites and chewing slowly way of eating has real benefits!

What makes this way of losing weight different from other weight loss programs is that it is not about depriving myself of any food. I feel free to eat whatever I want, but the questions I always ask are how much do I want it, and how much am I going to eat. It's working!

195.0 What’s Hypnosis Got to Do With It?

I've frequently talked about the fact that I have worked with Clinical Hypnotherapist Jennifer Scott, and that I credit hypnosis with being one of the most important tools that I've used to lose weight. Rather than me trying to explain what hypnosis is, I’ll let Jennifer. If you go to Jennifer’s website you’ll see that you have the opportunity to download a MP3 option in which she explains what hypnosis is and gives you a chance to experience it. Here's her website address: http://jscotthypnosis.com/. If you look on the right side of her home page you'll see how to get the MP3 download.

So how do I use hypnosis? I listen to CDs that she has made for me that put me in a hypnotic state and then reinforce the ways I manage food in order to lose weight - for example, that I eat half of a normal portion, that I eat food that helps me become healthier, and that I love to exercise. The CDs also help me envision the outcome of the weight loss - for example, that I feel younger, more agile, more slender, and happier. They also reinforce the idea that I want to and can lose more weight.

And, I've also learned how to hypnotize myself. This is very powerful and enables me to remind myself of those ideas I want to reinforce for myself. In this state I can also connect with my inner spirit, as I call it, to be with me, to give me courage and guidance and stay involved with me on this journey.

I encourage you to learn more about hypnosis. Obviously, I believe that it has changed my life.

198.4 Point of View

These pictures were taken in front of our home within seconds of each other. I took the cloudy picture and simply turned around and took the sun filled picture. I think my feelings about my weight are similar in terms of contrast. Sometimes the littlest weight gain will throw me into a dark funk, and other times, things seem just great. When I get so wrapped up in every ounce I forget that I know how to do this. I have lost 50 pounds and am committed to losing another 30! Point of view is so important in all realms of our lives and as long as I keep my goal in mind and focus on the tools I need to keep in place to reach it, I will continue to lose! Giving into the dark side of things and throwing up my hands and quitting is not an option. By changing my point of view, I realize what I have accomplished and know that I can keep going.

Today I have been very focused on my food...I planned exactly what I was going to eat all day and haven't veered from that plan. I also upped my exercise! You are reading the blog written by someone who did 17 minutes on the elliptical today. Yes, it was hard and I did turn to my inner spirit to go the distance with me, and together we did it. Happy Friday, everyone!

197.0 50 Down, 27 to go!

Today is a big day for me! I have finally really lost 50 pounds since starting this weight loss campaign! I weighed 247 (sadly) when I first met Jennifer Scott who has introduced me to hypnosis for weight loss, taught me self hypnosis and also helped to know the power of my inner spirit, or inner voice. Now that was one fortuitous day! Today I weighed in at 197.0! I will probably bounce around a little now, but continuing to lose is definitely going to happen.

200.0 One Bite At A time

This morning as I got ready to weigh myself after being without a scale for 5 days, I was talking to myself about how much I probably gained over the holidays. Whoa! I was so pleased and happily surprised to see that on this last day of the year, I weighed the least I have in probably 10 years! Yep, I did get off and on again just to make sure.

Since we were eating out, eating in, eating special holiday foods, I was sure that I had gained weight. My clothes didn't feel tighter, but in my mind I didn't see how I could NOT have gained weight. I ate mashed potatoes, I ate persimmon pudding with real whipped cream, I ate oyster dressing, I ate ham, I ate ice cream, I ate a little cake. In other words, I ate what was offered and enjoyed every bite. But here's where the truth lies...I ate each item one bite at a time. I really savored each bite, thought about whether I really wanted more before I took another bite, and I did start out with small portions.

I also had a time each day where I went inside myself to ask for help in making the best of each day and staying aware of all that I ate in the coming day. It is so powerful to know that we have this resource within ourselves, and it is really working for me. All I have to do is ask and believe.

So now, along with all of my readers, I face the New Year with hope, tools for success and the goal of losing at least another thirty pounds. Welcome 2010!

203.2 Ah, The Mysteries of Weight Loss

It is so curious how this weight loss stuff works. If you look on the right, you can see how long I have been stuck in the 205 range. And then, yesterday I weighed 204 and today, 203! What changed? What is the reason for this drop all of a sudden?

Is it the Wii Fit? Is it the eliptical? Is it the self hypnosis that I started doing again, after letting that slip for a while? Is it a combination of factors? I don't know. What I do know that makes it even more mysterious is that last night at about 9pm I got on the scale and weighed 206.

I am not going to spend too much time wondering about why. I am going to be grateful, smile and keep working on this weight loss using all my tools. I just love it when that scale tells me I lost weight and I didn't even move it! (See my blog written on 11/15.) I did get on twice this morning just to make sure I wasn't seeing things! And, of course, the suspense starts building! What will I weigh tomorrow morning?

207.6 Why I'm Going Nowhere Fast

Are you frustrated, too, looking at my weight, not going anywhere fast?  I am and I have written about this before.  It is easy to be frustrated if I focus on tenths of a pound, but that is what I look at every morning when I weigh myself.  I do feel great about the fact that I have lost 40 pounds, but I forget about that when I get on the scale every morning.

This program is about discipline, and boy, have I learned to be disciplined about what I eat.  But if I am honest, there is one part of the program that I am not disciplined about and that is using self hypnosis.  I never seem to have time to take 20 minutes out of the day and just do it.  I need to do it if I am going to reach my goal in the 21st century.  This is just a little too slow.  By doing the self hypnosis I can remind myself of all the various parts to this program and the suggestions that will renew my attitude and energy.  Jennifer has taught me to do self hypnosis and I have no good excuse.  So, on that note, I am off to start the first day of doing self hypnosis everyday.

And here's a picture of the cutest smiling dog in the world.

Smilin' Charlee