176.6 Hearing Voices!

Do you ever wake up and have a feeling or hear a voice telling you what you need to do? This morning here's what I heard: "Get up and walk!" I tried to ignore it. I was so comfy in bed. But it kept after me! Finally I rolled out of bed, pulled on my clothes and walking shoes and headed out. And, of course, it is just what I needed! It felt great, I became so in tune with the beauty around me, and I'm so glad I paid attention. I wonder where that voice has been because I got really lax about walking. No matter! I'm going to get going with the walking with or without the voice. (My walking friend is out of town!)

174.2

I just came across this really concise, clear list of some of the best tips for weight loss that I think also pertain to weight maintenance. It's from a Canadian report published in the March 10, 2011 Montreal Gazette. Here's just one section of the longer report.

"Think smart.

--Be aware of your inner voice. Think about how the running dialogue inside your head encourages or excuses bad behaviour. As in: "I'll have these french fries now, but just a salad for dinner," or "It's too icy/cold/hot/ humid/late/early to go out for a walk."

--Practise saying "thanks, but no thanks" to colleagues who bring in baked goods or dinner-party hosts who offer yet another glass of wine.

--Learn to recognize true hunger. Before each bite of food, ask: "Am I so hungry that I would eat this even if it were something I didn't like very much?"

--Be especially vigilant around people you love. Research shows that adults tend to eat more in the company of friends and relatives, especially if they are overweight.

--Don't be hard on yourself. It takes about six weeks to form new habits. Be prepared for pitfalls and setbacks. Hitting a plateau is part of the process - the body's way of readjusting to a reduced food supply. If you stick with it, you'll start losing again."

I really like the explanation of the very frustrating plateau issue. I knew that but reading it again was quite comforting. :)

If you want to read more, here's the website.
http://www.montrealgazette.com/health/Maintain+your+balance+when+weighing+diet/4407537/story.html#ixzz1GPCfxXV3

174.8 Putting Humpty Dumpty Together Again

Some days I just don't know why I ever decided to write this blog and post my weight because it's just too painful. I really thought I was going to have salmon and spinach last night but when we got to the restaurant, the salmon was $30 and the spinach was $9, and I just couldn't do it. This was at Flemings and the happy hour hamburger was only $6. So I ordered the hamburger thinking I would just eat half and I ate it all. No, I didn't have the cheese or the bacon, but I ate the bread. Where was my inner voice, what was I thinking? I blocked everything out. And, by the time we got home I felt terrible, both physically and emotionally.

So today I am putting Humpty Dumpty together again. I've already walked, I will do Wii Fit, and I am on my way to Costco to buy salmon, spinach, and other healthy things to see me through this tunnel to get me back to 170. YIKES!

171.0 Going Inward

I've written about my inner voice, that inner spirit that I have learned to call on whenever I need support, information, comfort. After writing yesterday's post about whether I need to lose more weight, this is what I learned by going inward and asking for help.

Stay present in your life, stay aware of what and how much you are eating, and most importantly keep up the exercise. Exercise builds a framework for your everyday life and will trigger all of the good habits that you have developed. Let your body decide what weight it wants to be and it will find a way to make that a reality. For good health, you don't need to lose more weight but you do need keep up the exercise and take good care of yourself. Love your body most of all.

There's not much to add to that except that I feel gratitude for this help. Now let's see what happens.

171.2 More!

There's actually more to the story than just upping the amount of water that I have been drinking. As you know, I've been working with Jennifer Scott (Clinical Hypno-Therapist) and she's taught me to listen to my inner voice, for Guidance all through this process. Recently when we were together, by tapping into our inner voices/spirits, we learned something that neither of us had thought about or talked directly about, and that is that part of my inability to lose these last 5 -10 pounds has been a fear that once I reached my goal, I will start regaining the weight, all of the weight. And, I learned that I didn't need to have that fear anymore, that I will be able to handle the success and all other challenges that life will present to me in the aftermath of this weight loss. A wave of relief swept through me as I became aware of these messages. And, I started losing the weight and drinking the water and look what happened. I do have a new confidence about reaching the goal and moving on. Now I just wonder what life has in store for me. I know I'll be up to the challenge. This is exciting!

179.2 In Nine More Pounds...

Today I went to see Jennifer. I've been working with her for a long time on lots of things including the weight loss. This morning she talked about all of the changes that have occurred since we first met about 2 1/2 years ago. You know, it's funny when you are the person making changes in your appearance, unless you are constantly looking in the mirror you don't see yourself as much as the people around you see you. Even though I'm the one who has done the work, I just don't see it as much as others do. So this morning when she said that I am 15 - 20 years younger in how I am, my vitality, I loved hearing it but it's hard for me to see. I know I have more energy and can certainly move more easily, and I definitely know there is a lot less of me :), but that much younger? Then I thought to myself, OMG, how old was I looking and acting when I first met her?

But it isn't just about the change in my appearance that we talked about this morning. My connection with this inner spirit, my inner voice, has also grown and has played into my changed attitudes. She has been encouraging me to develop this guidance more so that as I move into the maintenance period of this weight loss, I will have that inner compass to guide me, keep me conscious of what I am doing and feeling and to help me deal with all sorts of life issues in the future.

And, we talked about the future. Jennifer is working on a book about spirituality, and I have plans to develop this blog into a book, and we have all sorts of ideas of ways we can work together. So rather than thinking of this adventure as ending, in nine more pounds, new adventures will begin.

So here we go! Nine more pounds!

187.6 Asking and Receiving

In yesterday's post I mentioned using my inner spirit to help me continue this weight loss adventure. Part of this adventure and working with Jennifer Scott has been the emergence of this inner spirit within me. You can call this power whatever you are most comfortable naming it. To some it is inner voice, inner knowing, inner spirit, God, Guides ~ you can call it what you will.

Until recently I thought prayer was a one way street. By that I mean that I would bow my head and ask God for help, direction, or a blessing on me and others. It was a one way conversation in which I did all the talking. (For those who know me, this is not a surprise :)!) This is the kind of prayer that I was taught in church and I don't ever remember being told that God would talk back to me if I gave Him/Her a chance to get a word in edgewise.

Learning to use the inner voice, or my Guides as I call this phenomenon, is all about listening once the request for particular guidance has been made. And, it also involves suspending the ego so that the honesty can flow without being inhibited by the ego, dictating what we want to hear.

So how do I do this? I start with a prayer that goes like this: "Dear Guides, I come to you foregoing all ego considerations, all doubts, fears, worries and judgments so that I can receive your divine inspiration clearly and forcefully. Can you help me.............? I am open to receive." Then I take a deep breath, hold it for about 5 seconds, exhale and the message begins to flow within me. I like to do this at the computer and simply start typing what I receive without judgment or thought while writing. I know when the message has been completed because I hear the words, "We rest."

So why am I writing about this in this blog? Because I have been using Guidance to help me all during this process to help me with a wide range of issues in my life as well as weight loss.

I know this is getting really long, but I wanted to share with you what my Guides told me after I asked for help in accepting my imperfect legs and ankles:

"Your imperfections as you call them are important only to you. You wear your ego as an accessory and are so alert to real or imagined criticism or disapproval that it is constantly getting hurt. You are not your legs or your ankles or your feet. You are much more and much less. Your essence is like a light gleaming for all to see and that is the most important part of you. It has no shape, no size, nothing tangible about it. It is what it is and what you allow it to be. Understand that your discomfort with this physical aspect of yourself takes away from your spiritual being and lessens who you are. We understand that you have focused on this for much of your life and felt that it has held you back from being that other you would have wanted to be. Don't give this physical trait power. Get over it and get on with just being who you are. Getting slimmer will help to a small degree but will not really change how your legs and ankles look. The shift needs to happen in your mind, that you are okay no matter what your legs look like. You are not your legs and you never have been and you never will be. Move on and you will be happier and at peace with yourself. Achieving peace within and about who you are is key to living an authentic life and isn't that what you really want? We rest."

And, I feel that shift taking place as I am wearing shorts today and have let go of my concerns. Phew!

188.6 Thinking About God

I just got home and it's already after 9 PM. I have to admit it. I fell asleep today and slept for about 2 hours. When Jeff woke me up, I did my pool workout, and then we joined our special group of friends with whom we talk about things religious/spiritual. Tonight was really interesting as we each described how we thought about God. As you can imagine, there were as many views of God as individuals gathered.

Which brings me to this: I have relied on God, my inner voice, my inner spirit to help support me throughout this weight loss journey. Almost every day I take time to tune out everything else and listen to that comforting, loving, encouraging voice that tells me I can do this, I want to do this, and I am succeeding. I am so grateful for this support.

194.4 You Blew It, Sue

And I know why I blew it! Looking back it is so clear. I didn't take the time to check in with that wonderful inner spirit to ask for help in dealing with the food temptations that I knew would face me at our gathering of dear friends that we designed as a potluck supper. I thought I did okay with most of it so that I wasn't too alarmed.

But after our friends left, I had this huge nagging hunger and then I gave in to it. I ate and before I knew it I had downed about 2 - 3 cups of popcorn, at least 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and a handful of raspberries. Again, I didn't go binge on favorites, but I just ate like there was no tomorrow. (Obviously I was wrong about that since this is tomorrow!) I think the cheese and crackers, the glass of wine, and the cake with fresh berries and whipped cream, and the slice of bread and the lasagna all played into triggering that hunger. The carbs really do a job on me.

Looking back I could have eaten much smaller portions, foregone the wine, ignored the bread, had more salad, had the berries without any cake or whipped cream and still had a great time. But I just didn't get with the program before our guests arrived. And, we supplied the lasagna and bread. I knew that I had to deal with that ahead of time. But I didn't. So, back to the drawing board, back to no carbs except fruit at night, and embracing that inner voice that so wants me to succeed.

194.2 Moving Into That Space

I love writing this blog and I love the comments. Kathleen always keeps me grounded, the voice of reality and experience. She works hard to keep her health, exercise, and weight all under control while raising her three little boys. And, Prill, my sister, usually makes me smile with her comments. If you didn't see either, look at the bottom of yesterday's blog. I love the yabuts! Both comments ring so true and I really appreciated getting them.

But, I hope everyone will try to move into that space where the hard work and yabuts fade away and that positive voice can be heard. When I am on the elliptical and don't think I can go another "glide", if I hook up with that inner spirit it is as if I can go forever, for a while :). It's amazing!

194.4 Tell Me More

I have frequently been asked this question: How did you start this weight loss? What happened that you were able to take the initiative and begin to change your behavior so the weight started to come off? Now this is a really important question, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about the answer. What happened within me that I finally, after months or years of knowing I needed to lose weight, was able to take the first step and then stick with it?

Today I was having a therapeutic massage and Carole, the wunderkind of massage, said that she knew she was having pain and health issues because of what she was eating and the fact she wasn't getting any exercise. She knew she should change her behavior but she just didn't. After chatting with her about my search for the answer to this question of how you go from thinking about what you need to do to doing it, I think I may have discovered some pieces to the puzzle. You know you need to change because your inner voice/spirit is giving you that information. You hear it - you know it. But then your logical voice pipes up and says but I can't change because... and then you tell yourself all the reasons you can't possibly change and you do nothing. I think that when you make the decision to change, instead of tuning out the inner voice, you welcome it and tune it in at a higher frequency to get rid of the static! You say in effect, "Tell me more. Help me know how to proceed. Be with me as I work to make changes". And, you keep tuning in so that your logical voice can't override your inner voice.

Does this make any sense to you? Have you experienced this or something like it? If you have been able to lose weight, does this ring true for you about how you managed to begin and then stick with it?

This is getting way too long so I will quit now, but I know I'll keep thinking about this and I look forward to your comments.

202.2 A Broken Record

Maybe I should say a broken CD, but since I grew up with the term broken record I think it sounds better. My current plateau is feeling like that. Being stuck is no fun, but I am trying to take it in stride. Weight is such a funny thing, or maddening, or frustrating thing! We all have it, but we all handle it differently, and it is very individual. Some folks don't have to deal with it at all, some heavier folks don't seem to deal with it at all (I was one of them for about 20 years), and some have watched their weight continually thereby keeping within about a 2-3 pound range most of their adult lives. I want to be in that third group eventually. Since right now I am proving to be so good at maintaining a certain weight that should be a piece of cake! Ouch! Bad phrase to use right now.

So as I approach the holidays and all that includes (read wonderful food) my goal is to stay steady, to use my inner voice to keep me present and careful, and enjoy my friends and family. That's not too tall an order!

203.4 "It's Just The Salt"!

OMG, I couldn't believe my eyes when I got on the scale this morning! I told myself it was the salt in the wonderful food I had at lunch yesterday. Then my sister Priscilla called and when I told her how upset I was, she said the same thing. "Sue, it's the salt more than how much you ate". And just a few minutes ago as I was complaining that I hadn't written my blog and we have to leave to go eat dinner with some friends, Jeff asked me what I was going to write about. I told him about my weight today and, you guessed it, he blamed it on the salt. Let's hear it for salt because if that is the culprit, I should be able to get those numbers back down soon.

Except..., we are leaving tomorrow for Las Vegas to see Andrea Bocelli perform, and gamble, and eat? Life is so good and yet I get upset and worried about handling everything. Well, I have had practice juggling social life, fun and food, so I will have to trust in myself, listen to my inner voice, and walk as much as I can. Wish me luck with the food and the slot machines! I know I will enjoy hearing Andrea Bocelli! :)

Whose Thigh Is This?

After writing yesterday's blog, I received comments from 2 of my faithful blog fans. One supports me in staying true to the course I have set for myself because it has worked so well, and the other challenges me (she always does:)) to think about the fact that I don't really know how many calories my body needs to stay healthy and still lose weight. I know how many calories I need to eat to maintain my weight and I know that if eat about 500 a day less than that, I can lose a pound in about week, but how many calories do I need to sustain my health? Who knows? My inner voice, my inner spirit is suggesting that I not worry about calories in and out since we don't know that number, but to eat enough so I don't lose control due to hunger. I can do that, and I'll see how things go.

This morning as I was getting out of bed I looked down and saw my thigh. But I didn't recognize it because it's definitely gotten thinner. "Whose thigh is this"? to the tune of "What Child is This..." ran through my head. That started my day off with a smile.

(I didn't get weighed today because we were at a friend's home. Tonight we are going out to dinner with friends so I will need to take care to enjoy the meal with awareness!)