175.6 Whatever!

We live about 3 miles from the town of Carefree. I saw this car parked on Easy Street there and couldn't resist taking this picture of the license plate.

Whatever is an interesting word. For me it connotes that whatever it is that is under discussion isn't worth dealing with. So is this an okay attitude? I guess it depends on what the crux of the matter is, but for weight loss, I'm not sure it is helpful. But I do like the relaxed feel of this word that can reflect a calm, easy approach to life. It can also reflect a don't bother me attitude that doesn't always serve to produce the best outcome. So, for whatever it's worth, I'm not sure I want a license plate that says whatever.

169.6 Decisions, Decisions

I just made a decision. So what you say? Big deal! Sometimes it is a big deal for me to make a decision. Recently I read that most decisions should be made in about 30 seconds. I've barely gone through the list of pros much less the list of cons in 30 seconds. But it does feel good to quit dithering and just go for it.

I'm very conscious of talking about weight loss now. I don't bring it up to others, but so many folks have seen the transformation, and they start talking to me about it. Don't get me wrong - I like talking about it. It's similar to telling friends about a recent trip or encounter that you just had. But I don't like to be the instigator of the topic. Anyway, what I hear is a lot of indecision about whether they really want to lose weight, and if they could really do it. So, my take on this is that each person has to have a very clear reason for wanting to lose weight. And as long as the reason is theirs and not put on them by others I think that works. The most powerful reasons are health related, especially among those of us who are in our 60's plus, but among younger people there's always the motivation of doing it earlier rather than later and in the process saving a lot of wear and tear on their bodies.

I wish there was a way for everyone to understand that you can be happy with less food. A small portion of something yummy is just as enjoyable as a big portion as long as you stay aware of all of the goodness as you are taking small bites and really paying attention while you are eating that wonderful something.

As I'm adding some old favorites back into my food choices, I'm amazed and so relieved that I don't want a big serving of anything. But it is fun to be able to have a small amount and really enjoy it. I'm hanging in there with maintenance and it just isn't that hard, thank goodness, thanks to hypnosis, thanks to changed habits, and thanks to change attitudes. And, a big thank you to Jennifer Scott for her help in making all of these changes a reality for me.

170.6 How Did I Do It?

I'm thinking a lot about how I did this, how I lost 80 pounds. Jennifer Scott wants to make a video with me talking about how I did it. First of all, I couldn't have done it without her wisdom, patience, and skill as a hypno-therapist. I wasn't easy to work with. I was pretty stubborn, stuck in my old beliefs about all sorts of things. In other words, I was a hard sell. Opening my mind to her views was work for both of us, thankfully often humorous, but work. We both hung in there together, fastened our seat belts and took every twist and turn on this journey together.

So, how did I do it? The quick answer is one bite at a time. It was one meal at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time. I didn't just drop 5 pounds here, and 3 pounds a couple days later, etc. This was purposefully slow so that my mind would change along with my body. The quick weight loss diets I'd done earlier had produced weight loss, but no understanding of why I ate what I ate, drank what I drank, and put on that weight. So, it was the mental, emotional work that accompanied the careful eating that made this a very unusual journey.

And then there is the spiritual piece that I hadn't expected but evolved as I worked with Jennifer. She introduced me to the idea that God's power resides in all of us and can be understood once we move our ego issues aside and listen to that voice within us that gives guidance, comfort and support. This played a huge part in my changing attitudes and moving from the old to the new, and I am so grateful to Jennifer for sharing these ideas with me.

I'm still not sure what I'll say in that video, but at least I've got a head start on thinking about it after writing this.

170.2 Almost There!

This morning when I woke up I had a new image floating around in my wonderful:) mind, of me closing the door on the past, the weight issues, all the stuff that I have been working through as I head into my future. I know I've still got to sweep out the corners and crevices before I can shut the door for good, but I like that image. And as I close that door, I'll be embarking on a totally new adventure. I wonder where it will take me. I've learned a lot on this adventure, so I know I am ready for the next.

But wait a minute, Sue, not so fast. I don't think I'll close that door, after all. That past is full of so many memories, of highs and lows, of losing and then regaining and losing again, and of loads of challenges, and changes that I made in my attitudes and habits. It's full of experiences with hypnosis, with learning to listen to my inner spirit, of imaging a new way of life, a new me, that has become a reality for me, thanks to Jennifer Scott. These past couple of years have been really exciting in so many ways, so I'm sweeping and cleaning and tying things together, but I'll leave that door wide open.

174.4 From Desperation To Inspiration

As I was thinking about what to blog about today, two words popped up. The words are desperation and inspiration.

When I finally acknowledged the desperation I was feeling about my weight (about 250 pounds - EEEK!) two and a half years ago, I knew that I had to quit living in that most favored state of Denial, and move into a new place. That new place would provide tools for weight loss as well as be a place that would provide inspiration. And as you know, I am filled with gratitude for all the help that Jennifer Scott has given me in finding myself in this new, much happier, healthier place called Awareness.

Desperation for me meant without hope, being really stuck and not seeing a way out. From that low point, I reached out for help and became inspired and filled with hope.

Out of desperation came this blog, a lot of self discovery, and change, and my hope that for others this journey may prove to be a source of inspiration.

179.2 The Bottom Line

Yesterday I met with Jennifer and was telling her about being at a social event where a friend complimented me on my weight loss. And then she asked me if I would start drinking wine again once I lost my final 10 pounds. I just joked that only if I wanted to regain all that weight would I go back to my old ways.

Another gal asked me how I did it, how had I lost 70 pounds. As I told Jennifer I mentioned that I used hypnosis, cut way back on how much I ate, and upped my exercise and had done a lot of therapy. Jennifer suggested that I forgot the most important piece and that is that I wanted to change my life, and it was because I was willing to change that I was successful. It was about the fact that I no longer wanted to numb my emotions with food and alcohol, that I wanted to be fully present to live my life and experience the highs and lows and not dull them down, and that played an important role in my success.

The conversation reminded me of one I had with my daughter who occasionally works with folks who are preparing to have the lap band (gastric bypass) surgery. She's become aware of how many folks have it and lose weight, and then regain it after going through the surgery and weight loss. As she told me, it seems odd that these people will go through the pain and expense of the surgery and then return to their former eating habits. My daughter agreed with me that understanding why you became so heavy in the first place is key to knowing if/how much you want to change.

Where we live now, a lot of people are retired and are just kind of waiting. I'm not sure what all they are waiting for, but they often are waiting for it to be time to break out the wine everyday. Having a future filled with goals and joys seems to be really important as we get older. And, that means we have to change as we move from our familiar lives filled with work, to lives filled with new interests, purpose, and commitments.

So the bottom line, I guess the very bottom line, is that changing more than the number on the scale (or as Geneen Roth writes, "the size of your thighs") is of paramount importance in achieving and maintaining weight loss.

Oh, yes, this weekend is the long awaited (how about 50 years?) Palo Alto High School Class of 1960 50th Reunion, so I'm not sure how often I will post! Keep checking in. I'm taking my laptop and hope to do a few posts, without weight, okay? Other people's scales just aren't the same! :)

180.2 "Don't Ever Change!"

I still haven't found my senior class year book, but I have been looking at my sophomore class yearbook and reading all the handwritten messages left by classmates. The first obvious feature of those written messages (by girls) is the hearts dotting the i's, and the big, fat exclamation marks! The second is the common thread of "don't ever change", fat exclamation mark.

Why, when we were in high school was it so important to never change? Can you imagine the world populated with folks, no matter what their age, who never changed after they turned 15? I remember listening to the valedictorian's speech at one of my daughter's high school graduations and the theme was...don't change!

Hello! Life is all about change! Physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual change is what life is all about. When I think of my life since I was 15 or 17, it is all about change. And, when I think about the past two years, CHANGE has been huge in my life. And, it has made my life richer, fuller, more fun, definitely more challenging, and it's been a remarkable time.

So when I arrive at this reunion, I am ready to be surrounded by changed people. I can hardly wait!

179.2 In Nine More Pounds...

Today I went to see Jennifer. I've been working with her for a long time on lots of things including the weight loss. This morning she talked about all of the changes that have occurred since we first met about 2 1/2 years ago. You know, it's funny when you are the person making changes in your appearance, unless you are constantly looking in the mirror you don't see yourself as much as the people around you see you. Even though I'm the one who has done the work, I just don't see it as much as others do. So this morning when she said that I am 15 - 20 years younger in how I am, my vitality, I loved hearing it but it's hard for me to see. I know I have more energy and can certainly move more easily, and I definitely know there is a lot less of me :), but that much younger? Then I thought to myself, OMG, how old was I looking and acting when I first met her?

But it isn't just about the change in my appearance that we talked about this morning. My connection with this inner spirit, my inner voice, has also grown and has played into my changed attitudes. She has been encouraging me to develop this guidance more so that as I move into the maintenance period of this weight loss, I will have that inner compass to guide me, keep me conscious of what I am doing and feeling and to help me deal with all sorts of life issues in the future.

And, we talked about the future. Jennifer is working on a book about spirituality, and I have plans to develop this blog into a book, and we have all sorts of ideas of ways we can work together. So rather than thinking of this adventure as ending, in nine more pounds, new adventures will begin.

So here we go! Nine more pounds!