175.4 Tenacious

Today was my last day until next fall to teach my ESL class. It's been the best year that I've had there because I allowed my inner spirit to open my heart to each of my students in a much more personal way.

After telling my friend Sally all about my class, the inspiration that I receive from being with these wonderful people and how determined they are to learn English no matter what their age, she reminded me that she had a framed photograph in her home that she had taken and entitled Tenacious. She said that she thought it would be wonderful to share the photo with my students and she made up twenty note cards with the photo on the front for me to give them today.

They loved receiving the photo. Several of them said that they would put it where it could be seen first thing in the morning. They were touched by the fact my friend had done this for them. And they are a tenacious group, determined to keep trying to master this wonderfully difficult language that we speak so easily.

So thank you Sally, for the thought, the time, and the cards. You made a big difference in many lives today, an important and positive difference.

And, yes, being tenacious has played a big part in my weight loss adventure and now the maintenance phase. I've kept one of the cards for myself. I don't think Sally will mind.

174.8 Waiting....

This morning there was a guest minister at our church from Haiti. You want to talk about going from desperation to inspiration (yesterday's post)? This pastor embodied it all. What struck me as he spoke about the fact that conditions there now are not a lot better than they were right after the earthquake which was in January, that's 9 whole months ago!, he wasn't filled with bitterness or anger. But he was filled with getting the message out that help is desperately needed.

Jeff had asked me yesterday what I wanted for my upcoming birthday. I flippantly, but seriously answered diamond earrings and they needed to be at least a half a carat. A little stunned because I usually don't ask for anything so significant, he suggested I wait for our 50th wedding anniversary. I said no, I didn't want to wait.

After hearing this morning about people waiting days and weeks for medical care, waiting for water, waiting for rice and beans, waiting for more than a tent to live in, waiting for their lives to take on some sense of normalcy, I've decided I won't wait. I think contributing the money that might have been spent on diamonds to Pastor Luc and his churches and schools in Haiti is the birthday present I want to receive.

174.4 From Desperation To Inspiration

As I was thinking about what to blog about today, two words popped up. The words are desperation and inspiration.

When I finally acknowledged the desperation I was feeling about my weight (about 250 pounds - EEEK!) two and a half years ago, I knew that I had to quit living in that most favored state of Denial, and move into a new place. That new place would provide tools for weight loss as well as be a place that would provide inspiration. And as you know, I am filled with gratitude for all the help that Jennifer Scott has given me in finding myself in this new, much happier, healthier place called Awareness.

Desperation for me meant without hope, being really stuck and not seeing a way out. From that low point, I reached out for help and became inspired and filled with hope.

Out of desperation came this blog, a lot of self discovery, and change, and my hope that for others this journey may prove to be a source of inspiration.

177.2 Can't Hurt, Might Help!

A good friend and I were talking recently and after complimenting me on my weight loss, she said that she wished her daughter would be inspired to lose weight. As I told my friend, if I could bottle this kind of inspiration I know I could sell it and be a very wealthy woman. Or, maybe I would just give it away. Now there’s a thought. I like that even better. But anyway, I wish I could write or say something that would inspire/enable others to lose weight.

Sometimes I feel like a broken record about Geneen Roth’s book Women Food and God. The author talks about why we use food, and then how being fat shapes our view of ourselves, and how, even when we lose it, it often finds us and settles right back in exactly the same places we lost it from.

What’s really struck me is that as I've talked to several folks about this book, they appear to be very interested in it until I mention the title and they hear the word GOD. I can see it in their faces, the big turn off.

I wonder if Geneen Roth thought long and hard about putting the word God in the title of her book? Even if you don’t believe God exists, this is a very helpful, entertaining book. It takes a close look at why, what, and how we eat. It’s a great read and full of fascinating connections and insights and practices. If that word, that little 3 letter word, has stopped you, I encourage you to take a look at this book. You may not change your mind about God or what that means, but you might find some very interesting thoughts about why the bodies we inhabit become too fat! And, there are some very helpful ideas of ways to deal with the old entrenched behaviors that perpetuate the weight problems.

So I’m going to recommend this book to my friend to think about suggesting to her daughter. As I often say, it can’t hurt and it might help!

187.6 Asking and Receiving

In yesterday's post I mentioned using my inner spirit to help me continue this weight loss adventure. Part of this adventure and working with Jennifer Scott has been the emergence of this inner spirit within me. You can call this power whatever you are most comfortable naming it. To some it is inner voice, inner knowing, inner spirit, God, Guides ~ you can call it what you will.

Until recently I thought prayer was a one way street. By that I mean that I would bow my head and ask God for help, direction, or a blessing on me and others. It was a one way conversation in which I did all the talking. (For those who know me, this is not a surprise :)!) This is the kind of prayer that I was taught in church and I don't ever remember being told that God would talk back to me if I gave Him/Her a chance to get a word in edgewise.

Learning to use the inner voice, or my Guides as I call this phenomenon, is all about listening once the request for particular guidance has been made. And, it also involves suspending the ego so that the honesty can flow without being inhibited by the ego, dictating what we want to hear.

So how do I do this? I start with a prayer that goes like this: "Dear Guides, I come to you foregoing all ego considerations, all doubts, fears, worries and judgments so that I can receive your divine inspiration clearly and forcefully. Can you help me.............? I am open to receive." Then I take a deep breath, hold it for about 5 seconds, exhale and the message begins to flow within me. I like to do this at the computer and simply start typing what I receive without judgment or thought while writing. I know when the message has been completed because I hear the words, "We rest."

So why am I writing about this in this blog? Because I have been using Guidance to help me all during this process to help me with a wide range of issues in my life as well as weight loss.

I know this is getting really long, but I wanted to share with you what my Guides told me after I asked for help in accepting my imperfect legs and ankles:

"Your imperfections as you call them are important only to you. You wear your ego as an accessory and are so alert to real or imagined criticism or disapproval that it is constantly getting hurt. You are not your legs or your ankles or your feet. You are much more and much less. Your essence is like a light gleaming for all to see and that is the most important part of you. It has no shape, no size, nothing tangible about it. It is what it is and what you allow it to be. Understand that your discomfort with this physical aspect of yourself takes away from your spiritual being and lessens who you are. We understand that you have focused on this for much of your life and felt that it has held you back from being that other you would have wanted to be. Don't give this physical trait power. Get over it and get on with just being who you are. Getting slimmer will help to a small degree but will not really change how your legs and ankles look. The shift needs to happen in your mind, that you are okay no matter what your legs look like. You are not your legs and you never have been and you never will be. Move on and you will be happier and at peace with yourself. Achieving peace within and about who you are is key to living an authentic life and isn't that what you really want? We rest."

And, I feel that shift taking place as I am wearing shorts today and have let go of my concerns. Phew!

188.4 Seeing Beyond The Weight Loss

I had an appointment with Jennifer Scott today, my inspiration and support for this weight loss program. Actually, she has become much more than that. She has become a spiritual coach helping me to grow and change throughout this weight loss process. Check out her website listed on the right.

Today she challenged me to begin to see beyond the weight loss. She reminded me that the more important changes that have been occurring along with the weight loss have been increased health and happiness, and self knowledge. Sometimes, in my myopic view of life, I focus way too much on how many pounds I've lost instead of what's going on in the bigger picture of my life.

So what will be next for me? Losing the weight has been a great thing, but like Peggy Lee sang, "Is That All There Is?". What will my life be like a year from now, five years from now? It's time to start widening my view and moving toward a new future with enthusiasm and joy.

201.2 An Unexpected Gift

Here's my grandson Julien's Christmas stocking, finally finished. It has been 3 years in the making with me working sporadically every Christmas season hoping to get it done by that Christmas. Well, my son Ted asked about it about a month ago and reminded me that Julien would really notice this year if he didn't have a special stocking made by Grandma Sue. Phew! It took forever this year to finish it. I thought I had about 5 hours to go when Ted talked to me about it, but I think I have logged more like 12 to 15 hours. I am so glad it's done.

Today I received an unexpected gift about this blog. My nephew's wife Nicola took me aside and told me that she has read every post and that it has really touched her life. She said that the weight loss focus has been very helpful, but more than that, my sharing my view of life has meant a lot to her. I really liked hearing that this blog has become important to her and I hope it will continue to be a source of info, humor, and perhaps inspiration to many of you.

I am not sure if I will post a new blog everyday throughout the next week since we will be celebrating, traveling, and enjoying our family. But do check in every so often. With me in charge (I think the blog is the only thing I am truly in charge of :) ), you never know!

Happy Holidays to you all.

209.4 Gifts

As I started out on my walk this morning, I saw my friends Terry and Louise, who had arrived here last night after being away since April. Louise has been following my blog from her home in Ohio since I first started to write it and she was so happy to see me 30 pounds lighter!  She called out to me as we approached each other about how much thinner I appeared.  And then she said you are walking so much better and standing so much straighter!  By this time we had hugged and she was wiping tears away.  This new me had brought tears to her eyes.

What she said next was the best gift of all.  She said that I have been an inspiration to her through my blogs.  Her husband, Terry, concurred as she told me that in restaurants she immediately moves one half of the portion away (to Terry's plate!), that she has cut down on the amount of bread she eats, etc.  What she didn't say but is so true is that she has become conscious about everything that she eats.

So Louise, it's great to see you looking so good.  Thanks for the gifts you gave me this morning, and welcome back!