187.2 Unpredictable

I like to think that my life is fairly predictable, but lately I am beginning to wonder if that is one of the many areas in my thinking that might fall under the category of delusional. You would think that with all of the weight loss stuff I have gone through, I'd be an expert. Well, I'm not and am still learning new things about weight loss in general and how my body responds to changes in what/how much I eat. In general, it's often very unpredictable.

Besides focusing on weight and other body issues such as my back, neck, stroke life, etc., I am a devoted player/member of Lumosity, the brain game site to stave off Alzheimers and other dementias. Well, that part of my life is unpredictable also. After not playing for about a month, I was able to perform magnificently and my overall score shot up 4 points at one sitting. (I was sure I would take a downward hit and have to build my score back up again.) That's a lot because when I'm in a more disciplined place in my life and play every day, it often varies up and down a couple of points. And then today, it just shot up 6 points for no reason at all, except that I hadn't played for several days. I'm thinking about writing to the Lumosity folks and see if they'd like to do a study on my brain. It's got to be quite unique, or at least I'd like to think so. Since I started Lumosity my score has increased over 1200 points. No I won't tell you where I started, but now I'm wondering if there is an upward limit, and how close I am to that score. And, if I did reach it once, how will I feel when it begins to waver downward. Ah, the things I think about!

174.6 Ms. Cellophane

Jeff and I went to a local theater revue that was quite wonderful last weekend. One of the songs that was presented was Mr. Cellophane from the movie Chicago. I loved that song when I saw Chicago and I loved hearing it again the other night even though it is a very sad song. At various time in my life I have definitely felt like Ms. Cellophane, totally invisible and ignored.

Before the weight loss I felt that way most of the time, and part of the joy of changing and becoming more slender is that now I feel visible, more visible than I have in a long time. It's little things like people chatting me up in the grocery store or airport or wherever. I'm sure that part of it is the fact that I like myself better and so maybe appear more open than I did when I was hiding behind all of that fat. Whatever it is, it's a good feeling to be visible.

170.2 Great News!

I left the house at 7:00 AM and just returned home. It's after 4 PM. It was a great day but I'm a little tired now. Okay, a BIG TIRED now.

I do have great news! Our daughter Miranda and her husband are expecting a baby girl in June. We are so excited, and since we have three fabulous grandsons, we are very pleased at the prospect of having a granddaughter! And, I'm going to be able to lift her, hold her tight, carry her around and participate in all the wonderful activities that await us all as she joins our family. What a great gift as a result of the weight loss and work I've done to get stronger. Come on little gal, I'm ready!

202.2 A Broken Record

Maybe I should say a broken CD, but since I grew up with the term broken record I think it sounds better. My current plateau is feeling like that. Being stuck is no fun, but I am trying to take it in stride. Weight is such a funny thing, or maddening, or frustrating thing! We all have it, but we all handle it differently, and it is very individual. Some folks don't have to deal with it at all, some heavier folks don't seem to deal with it at all (I was one of them for about 20 years), and some have watched their weight continually thereby keeping within about a 2-3 pound range most of their adult lives. I want to be in that third group eventually. Since right now I am proving to be so good at maintaining a certain weight that should be a piece of cake! Ouch! Bad phrase to use right now.

So as I approach the holidays and all that includes (read wonderful food) my goal is to stay steady, to use my inner voice to keep me present and careful, and enjoy my friends and family. That's not too tall an order!

no scale Bellagio Christmas

This is a very complex place to visit. I definitely have an ambivalent view of Las Vegas. Right now there is snow on the mountains that we look out at from our room, and it is simply gorgeous. But down on the street things are pretty gritty and grim. I have done surprisingly well with my gambling fortunes so that has been fun, and unexpected. And, I have been walking everywhere, very different from past visits. It means a lot to me that I can walk.

The Andrea Bocelli concert last night was absolutely fabulous. What is so phenomenal about seeing him perform is that he sings effortlessly, whether he is singing an aria or a Christmas Carol. I didn't realize this about his style and was struck by it throughout the performance. Whether it was an unusually high note or low note, it was sung effortlessly and beautifully. Can weight loss be effortless? I think that depends on the definition of effort. It does take discipline and practice, I can attest to that!

So, home tomorrow!

203.4 "It's Just The Salt"!

OMG, I couldn't believe my eyes when I got on the scale this morning! I told myself it was the salt in the wonderful food I had at lunch yesterday. Then my sister Priscilla called and when I told her how upset I was, she said the same thing. "Sue, it's the salt more than how much you ate". And just a few minutes ago as I was complaining that I hadn't written my blog and we have to leave to go eat dinner with some friends, Jeff asked me what I was going to write about. I told him about my weight today and, you guessed it, he blamed it on the salt. Let's hear it for salt because if that is the culprit, I should be able to get those numbers back down soon.

Except..., we are leaving tomorrow for Las Vegas to see Andrea Bocelli perform, and gamble, and eat? Life is so good and yet I get upset and worried about handling everything. Well, I have had practice juggling social life, fun and food, so I will have to trust in myself, listen to my inner voice, and walk as much as I can. Wish me luck with the food and the slot machines! I know I will enjoy hearing Andrea Bocelli! :)

202.4 It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Christmas

I know it is only the 5th of December, but I have a husband who loves Christmas. The tree can't go up too early and it can't stay up too long! I was out doing errands and came home to a wreath on the door and the tree half-way put up in the living room. As I have said before, whadda guy!

While I was out, I went to get a pedicure and ran into a gal I have met and talked to about 3-4 times over the past 3 years. She did not recognize me! Once I told her who I was and explained about the weight loss, she knew me! I think that is one of those little things that mean a lot moments! (See 12/01.) What is really interesting for me as a big loser is that I can't imagine how I lugged around almost 50 pounds without realizing what I was doing to myself, and without understanding that I had the power to lose it. I can picture myself being much heavier, but I can't imagine living with all the weight.

So now I have just over 30 more pounds to lose to reach my goal. No problem!

204.0 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Yesterday I blogged about using the Wii Fit at my PT's office and how much fun it was. Well, this morning, Jeff had dusted off ours and it was sitting in the middle of the living room floor ready for me to hop on. Whadda guy! So, I got on and had to answer a lot of questions as I stood on the sensor board, like my height, how much my clothes weighed (of course I said a lot!), my age, etc.. And then, it shared with me the good, the bad and the ugly!

The good is where I'll start. The good news is that, in measuring how I did this morning on some preliminary balance exercise tests, in combination with the information I gave in answer to the questions, my physical age is...53! Yay! When I did this last spring when we first got it, my physical age was 73! So, the weight loss and all my walking and pool work has enabled me to be younger and more agile! For someone who is 67 that is great news. The bad news is my BMI (body mass index), which I won't share, but it is way too high, yet down about 4 points from what it was last spring. Then the really ugly...that I am still obese! Oh, is that not one of the ugliest words in the language?

So, I have a new friend to play with every day, and a three new challenges to meet head on every day: to lower my BMI, to improve my balance and thereby become younger :), and to get out of the obese category.

205.2 Why and Now What?

Here's a thought... Was hitting the wall on my jewelry a reflection of hitting the wall on the weight loss? Hmmm. Perhaps it is obvious to some, but until today I hadn't put the two together.

Which leads me to the larger question of why... Why am I here? What meaning has my life had, and what meaning do I want it to have as I go forward? Since facing retirement, my life has been consumed in large part with dealing with health issues, not life threatening, but life changing. Fortunately, the importance of those issues has diminished, especially over the last year, to the point where my life is not constrained in the same way it has been over the past 5 to 6 years. So, now what?

207.6 What 's Old is New Again

Today was the day I was going to have mandoline practice, the slicer not the musical instrument.  I made arrangements with my friend Elaine, who was willing to take this project on.  I arrived with several zucchinis, and two kinds of Italian cheese in an effort to recreate the appetizer we had enjoyed so much in Italy.  (My husband and I belong to a wine group that is featuring Italian wines which is why I am so set on taking this appetizer as our contribution to the gathering tomorrow night.  If you are remembering that I have quit drinking wine, you are right.  I did, but I love this group of folks and so I go with my bottle of sparkling water.  It works!)

Elaine is a wonderful cook and has all the gadgets any woman could possibly want. For fun, she worked part-time at William of Sonoma for a few years.   As we were getting started, she reminded me that we had to cut the zucchini into shorter pieces so that the mandoline could handle it.  We did that and the results were very thin, rather short pieces of zucchini.  We curled up the 2 - 3 inch zucchini pieces, added some chunks of cheese and a little olive oil and congratulated ourselves on how good it tasted.  But I wasn't satisfied.  In Cortona, the pieces were 6-9inches long.

Suddenly Elaine's eyes lit up and she asked me if I thought a meat slicer might do the job!  They had a very old one that had been hidden away in her husband's father's garage for many years and had never been used until recently.  She dug it out of a kitchen cabinet and set it up and viola, or should I say prego!  We had long, thin slices of zucchini, looking exactly like it had in that wonderful little restaurant called FuFluns down a side street in Cortona.  As I was leaving with the meat slicer, she called out that if we had some salami to slice this would be a good time to do it.  Salami?  Me? The queen of the 40 pound weight loss?  Nope, but I may try it on tomatoes, cucumbers, fennel, and anything else I can think of while I have her slicer.

Now I have this little whirly-gig that makes radish curls that I bought at Sur la Table recently (see 10/11 blog), and I am wondering  how I can swap that out for a meat slicer of my very own!