199.0 The Push and Pull of Change

Losing weight is always related to change. You can't do it without changing a few or many things about how and what you eat as you start undertaking a "weight loss adventure". And, your appearance changes as you lose more and more weight. In so many aspects of our lives, change is a constant, especially change brought about by external events. It is the change we impose upon ourselves that presents the biggest challenge. Folks ask if I feel different being 50 pounds lighter, and of course I do. But I am also getting used to the way it feels. And, I still face the challenge of weaving change into my everyday life everyday. Some things are very automatic now and for that I am very grateful. But there is always that tug of war going on between the push to change and the pull to return to the old. Change does not exist as something that you accomplish one day and then that's that.

I am at a very significant place right now. Twice before in my life I have lost 50 pounds and then at that point I would declare the diet a success, and slowly but surely regain those lost pounds. This time I am determined to continue to lose (30 more pounds) to reach my goal of weighing 170. But if you are keeping your eye on the number before the title of each blog, you will see that I have bogged down at this 50 pound point. Over the next few months I will lose those 30 pounds and then I will face the challenge of keeping them off. I am convinced the push to change will overtake the pull to go back and the result will be exciting and perhaps unexpected.

Oh, I also need to say that I may not be blogging everyday over the next few days. A dear relative passed away and I am not sure that I will be able to post any blogs. Do check back late next week.

202.4 It's Beginning To Feel A Lot Like Christmas

I know it is only the 5th of December, but I have a husband who loves Christmas. The tree can't go up too early and it can't stay up too long! I was out doing errands and came home to a wreath on the door and the tree half-way put up in the living room. As I have said before, whadda guy!

While I was out, I went to get a pedicure and ran into a gal I have met and talked to about 3-4 times over the past 3 years. She did not recognize me! Once I told her who I was and explained about the weight loss, she knew me! I think that is one of those little things that mean a lot moments! (See 12/01.) What is really interesting for me as a big loser is that I can't imagine how I lugged around almost 50 pounds without realizing what I was doing to myself, and without understanding that I had the power to lose it. I can picture myself being much heavier, but I can't imagine living with all the weight.

So now I have just over 30 more pounds to lose to reach my goal. No problem!