169.8 Baking Cookies But Not Eating them

I baked cookies yesterday and today. I baked them for Jennifer as part of her 75 birthday present. (She loves cookies.) I hadn't baked much of anything over the past four to five years. I used to make cookies frequently when I had a houseful of kids, but with my weight issue and not being able to stand for very long because of my back, baking was one of those things I quit doing. So I got this idea to bake three kinds of cookies and giving Jennifer exactly 75. I didn't even know if I had decent cookie sheets or cooling racks or where they were. But I found everything, headed off to the store, and started baking yesterday evening. I made Chocolate Chip Zucchini Cookies, Peanut Butter Oatmeal Lace Cookies with chocolate filling, and Russian Tea Cakes.

And, here's the thing! I ate a half of a zucchini cookie and that was that. I didn't want any more. I didn't want to "lick" the bowl, I didn't want to eat the left over melted chocolate, and I didn't even want to taste any of the batter. What I really didn't want to do was to set up that sugar craving which I have learned can be easily triggered if I eat just a small amount of something sweet. My body likes being at this weight and my spirit likes it too. All of those hypnotic suggestions about being healthy, being happy, being slender have really settled into my consciousness and don't want to be messed with!

Thanks, Jennifer, and Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy the cookies!

194.4 You Blew It, Sue

And I know why I blew it! Looking back it is so clear. I didn't take the time to check in with that wonderful inner spirit to ask for help in dealing with the food temptations that I knew would face me at our gathering of dear friends that we designed as a potluck supper. I thought I did okay with most of it so that I wasn't too alarmed.

But after our friends left, I had this huge nagging hunger and then I gave in to it. I ate and before I knew it I had downed about 2 - 3 cups of popcorn, at least 2 tablespoons of peanut butter, and a handful of raspberries. Again, I didn't go binge on favorites, but I just ate like there was no tomorrow. (Obviously I was wrong about that since this is tomorrow!) I think the cheese and crackers, the glass of wine, and the cake with fresh berries and whipped cream, and the slice of bread and the lasagna all played into triggering that hunger. The carbs really do a job on me.

Looking back I could have eaten much smaller portions, foregone the wine, ignored the bread, had more salad, had the berries without any cake or whipped cream and still had a great time. But I just didn't get with the program before our guests arrived. And, we supplied the lasagna and bread. I knew that I had to deal with that ahead of time. But I didn't. So, back to the drawing board, back to no carbs except fruit at night, and embracing that inner voice that so wants me to succeed.