178.2 Weight Loss Contagion

Recently I've been reading a lot about the fact that there is something to the notion that weight has a contagious element to it. In Women Food and God Geneen Roth talks about how the glue that can sustain a group of friends can be the 10 pounds each wants to but can't seem to lose. And in Mindless Eating, it is pointed out that those who eat together usually will eat the same amount. When you eat out, look around. You will probably see, especially among women, that they can often be close in stature and what they order is similar. One is rarely eating a salad while the other has a hamburger with fries. Before the weight loss, I would always encourage the others to order first so that I wouldn't be eating out of sync with them. If they all ordered salads, why, of course, I ordered a salad. If a dessert was ordered, ah, yes, I, too, would order a dessert! Someone relatively close to me wrote in response to learning that I had lost another 10 pounds that she hated skinny people. (Skinny I am not, but plump she is.)

Jeff has lost almost 40 pounds since I started losing weight. No, he doesn't see Jennifer, and he doesn't consciously use hypnosis (that could be the basis of another post), and we often don't eat the same things. And, I have never told him that he should lose weight or to do what I do :). Suggestions like those usually backfire. But he's been in my contagion zone, if you will. (I'm smiling as I write this because I'm hearing Elizabeth Gilbert's voice in my head reading Eat, Pray, Love in which she uses that expression at least 50 times - not an expression I commonly use!). He's seen me eat half of what I used to eat, never take second helpings, and he's observed my comfort with leaving food on my plate. And, he's probably eaten more veges and salads in the past couple of years than he'd eaten over the first 25 years of his life! He started working out in addition to playing golf, his passion that he used to assure me was all the exercise he needed as he drove a cart around the golf course everyday. Now he often walks the first 9 holes.

I am so lucky to be with a guy who has been able to go with the constraints I put on what food we have around the house. We simply don't have junk food because I don't want to be tempted every time I open the cupboard. He agreed to that. And, if he's willing to barbeque and I want fish or chicken and he wants a steak, that's fine with him. If he wants a potato and I don't, that's fine with me. And, it's been interesting to see how few potatoes actually get cooked, and how few steaks are eaten. We used to eat out very frequently, and he's accepted that I am much more comfortable staying home so that I can control the choices and preparation, so he's given that up to a considerable extent, also. And, when he just can't take it anymore, he'll offer to go to Costco alone so he can get his hot dog fix, and we joke about it.

And what about the wine? I have known couples that have trouble when one stops drinking. There can be resentment on either side and a shift often takes place in the relationship. I've told people that Jeff and I used to really enjoy drinking together. At around 5 every evening, that's what we did. When I decided to stop, Jeff did not stop. That was okay with me and I really didn't expect him to stop. And, thankfully, I didn't experience resentment on his part. But, guess what? He now probably drinks less than half what he used to. Who knew??

So congratulations Jeff on the weight loss, and thanks for all of your support.