180.2 Happy Anniversary! Happy Marriage!

Today is our 45th wedding anniversary! You may be envisioning a romantic dinner out, flowers, etc., but to be honest Jeff isn't here. He's up in the Tahoe area attending a reunion of a group of guys he used to go on backpacking trips with when they were all much younger. This trip is more about golfing and playing cards. Before he left, he planned a wonderful night in a gorgeous resort, and there were flowers, and a card for me to find this morning telling me of a fantastic gift that I'll be receiving within a few days.

Do I feel bad, sad, neglected? Absolutely not. We talked about his going once the invitation was received and I immediately encouraged him to go. It took me a while (a very long time) to learn that by giving him freedom I always received more in the long run. I used to be all hung up on getting attention from him, and I thought by controlling him it meant he would love me more. Now I know that actually the opposite is true. And, he's great about giving me independence and freedom to live my life, to determine my own beliefs, to develop myself into the person I'm becoming without needing to control me.

I was only 22 and he was 23 when we got married and it is amazing and wonderful to look back over all the years and to think about how much we both have changed, and how that has deepened our love for each other, rather than threatened our marriage.

So dear Jeff, Happy Anniversary! You are the best!