Tuesday, January 26, 2010

195.6 Change and Gratitude

Last night's blog brought about a comment that simply stated, "Wowee"! I think it is even more appropriate for today since I am down another 6 ounces! And last night I had butternut nut squash soup with a delicious fig and mascapone toasted ravioli floating in it, beef tenderloin, and asparagus instead of risotto (all I did was ask, and no problem was the answer). It was a wonderful, delicious meal in an extraordinarily beautiful setting.

So how is it I lost 6 more ounces? I think I have stopped fighting with myself about all the reasons I couldn't make drastic changes. Well, I thought of them as drastic but in reality they really weren't that drastic. It just hasn't been that hard. Planning my food for the day first thing in the morning instead of waiting as time for a meal approached and then eating whatever, is not that hard. Doing more and varied exercise in one day is not that hard. Not eating three meals everyday is not that hard. What's hard for me is to figure out what I was afraid of, what was it that I didn't want to give up, why didn't I embrace these ideas as they were suggested to me instead of putting up mental road blocks.

I have definitely become more conscious of the fact that losing a large amount of weight has meant that I had to give up some things in order to make the changes. I had to give up the notion that I was disabled. I had to give up the notion that food was so important to me that I couldn't imagine being happy eating less and indulging myself less with food. I had to give up the notion that I couldn't do it because I couldn't exercise. I had to give up the old me, and you know, what has taken the place of that 247 pound disabled gal is a person that feels younger, is more agile, loves exercise and is beginning to take pride in how she looks and moves and lives. And, being conscious, being aware of the wonder of life within me and around me is such a gift and so much fun. I am filled with gratitude and wonder that I have actually lost 52 pounds. Furthermore, I am very aware of the need and desire to lose about, let's see, I believe we are now looking at only 25 more! Wowee!

4 comments:

priscilla said...

Reading your blog made me happy and grateful for your progress. I especially like your new view of yourself--as being able to exercise, move, act for yourself. I'm also happy that you've found ways to eat good food (butternut squash soup with a ravioli!) as part of your food plan. (It's NOT a diet!)

Unknown said...

That means you have less than half of what you have already lost yet to lose - piece of cake - oops - should have said piece of asparagus :-) For those who follow this blog but haven't seen Sue in a while, she looked fantastic last night at the MindQuest lecture. Annis

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