188.2 The Power of Reflection

I finally bought a full length mirror. It is still leaning against the wall where it will be hung, but that is a huge step for me. Jennifer had suggested I buy one several times over the past many months and I would agree that I needed to, and then not do it. Why? Well, for one thing, I couldn't figure out where to hang it. And, then I had the excuse that we were re-doing the master bath and I needed to wait until that was done. And, I believed that I could see enough of me in the mirror behind the sinks in our bathroom. I could see from about my waist up with no problem and that obviously was all I wanted to see. But no, she wanted me to see all of me, clothed and not clothed. I needed to "own" this miraculous body of mine with all it's flaws and all of it's beauty, and then coming face to face with it, figure out what I wanted it to look like and how I was going to get there.

I think that when we are in our bodies, we probably either idealize them, or make them worse than they are. In my case, I know that I thought I looked okay. After all, I thought I looked okay from my waist up.

Recently I was getting my hair cut and found myself sitting in the chair staring at all of me as reflected in a full length mirror. Ouch! The view of me sitting there was not at all what I thought I looked like. And, that's how most people see me, sitting across from them having a conversation, a drink (of water, in my case), and enjoying being with each other. So, I am more motivated than ever to keep going to reach of my goal of 170. Reflecting on where we are in life or in a quest for weight loss is a good thing. I think I will be a lot more satisfied looking back at myself once I get the next 20 pounds off.