Saying Goodbye to Italy

Today is our last day in Italy.  We have just finished breakfast in our hotel here in Cortona.  Another magnificent buffet with choices ranging from salami and cheese, to fruit and nut granola, yogurt, warm cake with chocolate chips, croisants, melon... I could go on and on.  And, something that I think really matters that I am going to try to do better at home is the presentation!  I took several pictures of buffets and displays, but am not sure they are going to do justice to what we actually experienced.

So tomorrow we arrive in Boston and then back home to Scottsdale on Wednesday.  I think I will wait until Thursday morning to greet my old friend the scale.  When Jennifer first suggested that I weigh myself everyday, I really fought it.  The notion of it being a positive tool in this process was very hard for me to accept, and the anxiety with which I approached it every morning was palpable for a while.  But not having a scale here has been much more difficult than I thought it would be.  Not knowing where I am is very anxiety provoking, especially since I haven't reached my goal yet.  (Check out Jennifer's blog listed on the right to read her take on the importance of weighing everyday.)

No matter what the scale tells me, this trip has been absolutely wonderful and it is hard to say goodbye to Italy...so hard that Jeff and I are talking about when we will return.

Ciao!

Regret and Resentment vs Contentment

A short note from Cortona, Italy.  I'm not coming home!  This is simply too much fun!

Yesterday we went to San Gimignano, an absolutely charming town that is the perfect spot for any Italian movie location, and, we ended up at the winner of Italy's gelato contest for 2008!  Yep, I had some, nutty hazelnut with whole hazelnuts and it was fabulous.  Because of the work I have done to incorporate Jennifer's weight loss program into my life,  I didn't want more than half the small cup I ordered.  Guess who really loved the fact I only ate 1/2 of cup?  Why husband Jeff, of course!

As some of you picked up on, I was concerned about how I was going to handle food while here on vacation.  I have been able to enjoy wonderful food and I have been very relaxed about it, but aware of all I eat.  The biggest problem is not knowing exactly what I would be served once I placed my order.  A funny thing happened yesterday before the gelato.  I ordered the vegetable plate because it really appealed to me.  When it was served, however, there was a huge ball of mozzarella  and slices of asiago cheese along side the grilled vegies.  I hadn't expected all the cheese, so I made the decision to eat a little of the cheese with the vegies and was content.  I think that the contentment that has become a companion of mine at meal time is one of the best gifts that has come about as a result of this weight loss process.  I used to be torn between eating it all and then beating myself up about it and being filled with regret, or denying myself any and then feeling resentful!  By eating small amounts of delicious foods, I am not depriving myself but am maintaining control so that I can reach my goal and be healthy.

And, even if I learn that I have gained a little weight while here (not having a scale), I am confident that I will lose it quickly and will then continue on toward my goal.

And, you should see me climb these hills.  Who knew I could walk for ten minutes straight up and live to tell about it?

Ciao!

Jennifer's Blog

I have mentioned Jennifer Scott in previous blogs, and today I want to introduce you to her blog.  Yes, blogs are everywhere, but I think hers will be of special interest to those of you who are reading this blog.  I met Jennifer about a year and a half ago when I was desperate to lose weight.  At that point my weight had reached an all time high and I was fearful that it would just keep climbing.   I had heard about hypnosis for weight loss and since I had tried every other possible alternative, I went on line and found Jennifer.   She has developed the weight loss process that I have been following that includes the tools I have written about throughout my blog.  In addition to sharing her weight loss program with me, she also helped me develop an awareness of the spiritual aspects of my life, that have played a very significant role in my weight loss success.    Without sounding too dramatic, I will simply say that besides losing weight, I am much happier, and enjoying life in a way I never thought possible.  So check out her blog.   You will even see some you-tube videos of another client and me talking about how this program has helped us at http://www.whyweighttolose.com.  

Finally, the computer is up and running, and we are settled in our villa in Cortona.  I could just blog about all that has happened, how wonderful it is here, and what a special time we are having, but I think I will write about the glorious food and challenges that I have met along the way.

Through this program of mindful, conscious eating, I have come to realize how significant emotional eating has been for me.  I did fine during our 24 hour stay in Boston, but once we were offered food on our Alitalia flight craziness struck.  I must add that we did fly business class, decided upon in consultation with my chiropractor for the health and safety of my back.  Now you know why I love my chiropractor.  It was all about the fact that the seats reclined almost to 180 degrees and my back really appreciated it.  My eyes and stomach really appreciated the food we were served for dinner and breakfast.  Each meal consisted of three courses that were beautifully presented and delicious.  But this is where I started to lose control and I think it was because I was nervous about flying across the ocean and unsure about a lot of the aspects of the impending trip.  I was still fighting for control at the hotel in Rome, especially when faced with a buffet of choices.

Once we got in our rental car and were truly on our own, I began to feel much more comfortable with food.  After leaving Rome, we stopped in the very picturesque hill town of Montepulciano and had lunch in the old city.  Believe it or not, I had vegetable soup and shared bruschetta with Jeff and I was totally satisfied and happy with my choices.  That night, in Cortona, I had a delicious salad of fennel, orange slices, and pistachios with a little oil and vinegar, followed by roast chicken.  So far so good....  And then yesterday I was faced with another sumptious buffet for breakfast, but put blinders on and had yogurt, fruit and a little granola and coffee.  Since then, the 1/2 portion rule has become automatic again and I am feeling much more in control of food and eating delicious things.  For lunch today, I had about 1/4 of a small pizza with the best cheese and mushrooms on it!  I didn't eat the crust and felt very pleased with how things went.  I also bought apples to have if I get really hungry.  It is really interesting dealing with food in this country known for its fabulous food.  In the pastry shop I was in this morning getting coffee, there were the most beautiful looking pastries, but I was able to see them as pieces of art work,  and as a result, was able to stick with my plan to just have coffee.  I also have my own rule that if I can get it in the U.S., I don't eat it here, e.g., nutella.  It is everywhere here and I love it, but I never eat it at home so why should I eat it here?

We shall see how all this goes.  I don't have a scale here so my pants are my indicators of how I am doing.  I was able to zip up my new Chico's pants this morning, so I think I am doing just fine.  Now, if it would just stop raining...

I have never been someone who loves exercise.  Growing up, I almost always walked to school, which was about 2 miles each way, but I never thought of it as exercise, just something I did everyday.  Since I started walking in April as a part of my weight loss program, walking has become more and more just something I do everyday.  It didn't start out that way.  I would hem and haw about it, asking myself if it wasn't too hot, if my back didn't hurt too much, if going to the grocery store wouldn't accomplish the same thing.  What 's changed is that walking, like weighing myself every morning, has become automatic.

We are in Boston this morning and I am going to walk...not outside like I do in Arizona, but in my favorite mall because it is cold and gray here.  Lots of people are at the mall just to walk.  You can tell who they are because they never change their pace, and they don't slow down as they walk by Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom.  I do let my eyes scan the window displays so I know whether I want to go back and check something out when I am finished with my walk.  It's serious business and there is a spirit of comraderie among the walkers even though they walk by themselves. I feel like I belong to a very special group.

My next post will be from somewhere in Italy.  I am very excited, and yes, I did bring Willie Nelson with me.

211.4 Pants and Mindfulness

First of all, I want to draw your attention to a new site that I listed on the right side of the blog about Yoga and mindful eating.  I am much more into mindful eating right now than Yoga, and want to share this article that discusses the connection between the two.  One of my goals upon returning is to start a Yoga class or a Tai Chi class.  Both have been recommended to me as very good for strengthening my core to help support my back.  I also want to tell you that we had a great time last night with our friends, and my fears were totally unfounded, as fears often are.

We leave tomorrow on our trip to Italy, and we are really excited!  We get to be in a place neither of us has traveled to, and we will be spending a week with very good friends, some of whom are also relatives!  I think it is very cool when you can consider relatives very good friends!  And, we will be visiting our daughters in Boston both on the way to Italy and on the way home.

I don't know how frequently I will be blogging from our villa in Cortona, but I want to write some blogs from there.  Blogging definitely keeps me honest about what is going on.  I am heading out on this trip without a scale, so my pants will be my guide and the tightness therein!  Staying mindful of what and how much I eat and drink will be key while I enjoy the wonderful food of the region.  It should not be too different from how I handle food everyday...except that I won't be cooking and it will be especially delicious.

Ciao!

211.4 Emotional Eating

I just went through such an emotional eating moment, I decided to blog about it.  I was finishing up my lunch, not big, but very tasty and satisfying.  I had finished my glass of iced green tea and my dessert of half an Asian pear when I was overwhelmed by the feeling I wanted to keep eating...more and more!  I felt very full, but still wanted more.

Before giving in to the urge to stuff more food into my mouth, I took a deep breath and asked myself what this was all about.  The answer was so clear and obvious. We are having folks over for dinner and I don't know them very well, so I want to stuff down my feelings of shyness and uncertainty.  I have met them once before and they are delightful people.  And, they are really looking forward to the Indiana Green Bean Dinner that Jeff is preparing.  Bob and his wife are from the midwest as is Jeff and they were very pleased to be invited.

Once I realized what I was fearing and knew that I didn't need to worry about it, guess what?  I had no desire to keep eating, and I forgot all about wanting more food.  It is all part of the process, being present, thinking before eating, and learning about myself.

I am going to have a great time tonight, and I'm hoping our friends will, too.

211.0 Where's the Fat?

It is time for a light-hearted blog for a change, I've decided, and I know just what I want to write about.  Ready?

If you are paying close attention, you will realize that today I reached another all time low since being on this weight loss program.  But as I was waking up this morning, I didn't feel any different than I did a couple of days ago, or a couple of weeks ago, or even a couple of months ago.  Losing weight is really an interesting process because you can lose it and not see where it goes.  This morning as I was walking and belting out "On the Road Again", (can my HOA shut me down for singing too loud early in the morning?) anyway, I was thinking that it would be nice to see little or big mounds of fat on the sidewalk where I walk everyday.  I could acknowledge it as I stepped around it, I could be really proud upon seeing a really big mound of fat, and I could see what I have done!  Where are those 27 pounds that I have lost since working with Jennifer?

I know I can wear smaller clothes now, and people do notice that there is less of me, but I'd like to see the fat!  Do any of you remember when Oprah wheeled out a wagon full of fat when she first publicly lost weight quite a while ago?  She understands completely what I am talking about.

211.6 You Own the Power

I was asked by Jennifer to write a short bio for her to post on her website.  First of all, short bio is an oxymoron to me.  If she wants me to write about myself, it is going to be a long bio.  I am way too interesting to make it short! :)

As I was working on my first draft, I started writing about how I have dealt with weight issues during my life.  What I realized is that until recently I didn't feel that I had the power to change what was going on.  Oh, I could lose weight with the best of them, but once that challenge was over, I slipped right back into my old habits.  And, by doing that, put the weight right back on.  I became a believer... that I was destined to be overweight.

Since starting this program in earnest, I have come to realize that I do have the power and no one else does.  The sweet lady at Diet Center, the oh, so sincere guy at HMR (Health Management Resources),  the bored lady at Diet Center (I did that chicken in the foil diet at least twice), and the entertaining gal at Weight Watchers,  none of these folks had the power to help me achieve my goal and then keep the weight off.

By acknowledging that I hold the power and by believing that I can do this, I have been succeeding.  It is all about me now, not these purveyors of hope who I was hoping to please as they weighed me in each week.  I wish I had realized this long time ago.  Having someone to encourage you along the way is a very good thing.  But you are the one with the power.

211.6 Finding Myself at the DQ

It has been at least a year since I have done this, and I don't know if I'm glad or sad or both.  I turned into the Dairy Queen drive thru! Here's the good news - I ordered the smallest cone and I only ate half of it.

I had seen the DQ there before.  It is across the highway from my eye doc's office and through 4-5 appointments over the past 4 months, I had never turned in.  I talked about going there with Jeff after my cataract operation, but as soon as he agreed, I changed my mind and we went straight home.

I don't know why I did it today.  And, I'm not going crazy because I had some ice cream.  I don't think it will do irreversible damage, either.  What I think is really important is that I enjoyed it, I didn't eat it fast, and my subconscious mind nudged me hard enough so that I stopped eating once I had had half,  On top of that, I had no regrets about throwing the rest away.  Maybe I'm learning that I can treat myself with small amounts of yummy things once in a while.  I think that I'm glad I did it.

211.6 Letter to Judy

I have a very special friend, Judy, who I have known for about 25 years.  She wrote asking for "the basics" of this process.  Since she asked, I thought that perhaps more of you might have questions about it, and would like to read what I wrote to her in response.


Here is what I wrote:


First, let me tell you that I have been working with Jennifer Scott, Licensed Clinical Hypnotherapist, who has developed this weight loss process, and I am very much indebted to her.  She is working on a website ( and eventually, a book) that will include videos of three of her clients, including yours truly, who are involved in this process.


For starters, this is not a diet.  As you know, diets don't work.  You lose the weight and it comes back on.  This process is a way to integrate food into your life without it taking control.  So, you will never eat differently than you are during this process.  Once you lose all the weight you want to lose, you may eat a little more so that you will stay at the same weight rather than continue to lose, but you will never go back to the old patterns.  This is a lifetime process.


This is a slow and steady weight loss process.  Losing weight fast doesn't give your mind a chance to keep up with your body, and one reason you gain the weight back is that these old habits are so familiar.  By losing weight slowly, your mind and body stay in sync as you change.


Eating one half of a normal serving of food is a good place to start.  But, it does depend on what you are eating.  For example, eating half a piece of chocolate cake is better than eating a whole piece, but eating just a few small bites is best.  Eating more than half a serving of salad is a great idea unless it contains cheese, and other fattening ingredients like bacon and/or a heavy dressing.  My sister Priscilla taught me the technique of dipping my fork into the dressing and then spearing the lettuce, etc.  You get the taste of the dressing in each bite and you will be surprised at how little dressing you will eat.  And, just because you are eating only half of a serving doesn't mean you eat without considering whether what you are eating will help you succeed on your weight loss/health journey.  Use care in choosing everything you eat.


If you know it is not good for you, don't eat it.  And, don't eat it because you want to be healthy. By putting your health and weight loss at the top of your list of reasons for changing your behavior, you will not want to eat junk food, or food that is high in sugar or fat.  It is interesting that once you start eating like this, you will lose your taste for most of the things that you may eat regularly now that aren't healthy.


This is not about counting calories because you are going to know without doing that  that you are eating carefully.  Pay attention to your stomach and brain.  As soon as you begin to feel comfortable but not full, it is time to stop.  It's a good idea to push your plate away so you won't nibble on what you have not eaten.  Eventually you will learn to serve just enough.  And, never take seconds.


Another thing I have done is to cut way back on carbs at night, except fruit.  By this I mean that I don't eat potatoes, rice, or bread at night.  If you really want to eat those things, eat them for breakfast or lunch.  I haven't done this yet, but I have a friend who has changed her eating habits so that lunch is her biggest meal of the day.  I am thinking about this. :)


I have talked a lot in my blogs about weighing everyday so you know how you are doing, and about keeping a daily food log.  And, I have suggested that you keep a journal so you can talk to yourself about how you are doing, the challenges you are facing and how you are handling them. And don't forget to go back and read what you have written occasionally.  It will help reinforce the fact you are making healthy changes.  And, don't forget to go inside and let your inner spirit, your God self, or whatever you call it, help you.  There is also your subconscious mind that you can engage to help you work toward your goal.


So, keep up the walking.  That has helped me a lot over the past 5 months.  Good luck and keep in touch.  I hope this information helps you.

211.2 Living Without the 3Ds

I've been thinking about this for a while now, the part that dreaming, denial and delusion play in weight gain and weight tolerance.  Do you like the term weight tolerance?  I just made it up.  It means wearing the weight with the attitude that no one can see it, and it really doesn't matter.

Dreaming -  I have been dreaming or fantasizing about losing weight for much of my adult life.  When I would walk by a store window full of beautiful clothes, or I would be getting ready to go out and wasn't satisfied with how I looked, I would dream about how in a week, or even the next day I would start a diet and then I would be able to wear those clothes, and feel really pretty.  I would dream about how if I started the following Monday, that within a month I would look so much better.  I have discovered that dreaming just doesn't cut it.

Denial -  When I was much heavier, I could read the scale as easily as I read it now.  But there is a big difference between then and now.  Even while being weighed at my MD's office (leading to major anxiety), I could always say to myself that the scale was wrong, or that the clothing I was wearing was exceptionally heavy, even though I had chosen the outfit because it was not going to add a lot of weight.  In fact, I have been known to question the MD's scale more than once.  And, I decided that most people wouldn't notice that I was so heavy, and that health-wise it really didn't matter all that much.

Delusion...  Remember my blog about how I looked in the photos taken at the wedding... the appearance of that rather large woman who was wearing my dress?  That was a point where I was definitely delusional.  I had moved from denial to delusions of slender.  I really thought I looked much slimmer.  I believed I was much thinner than I obviously was.

What I have been thinking about in all of this is that using the 3 Ds to play mind games is not new or unusual.  I think that this is a common way of dealing with the things in life we don't want to face.  I am now trying to live in the present without delusion, without denial, and without dreaming about how I wish things were.  By taking action to lose the weight, I have been able to let go of the 3 Ds and find it feels so much better.

213.2 Taking the Day Off

This is the first holiday since starting the blog and I have decided to take the day off.  Check it out tomorrow!  Hope you are having a great holiday.

213.2 Eating Out, Eating One-Half

It is truly becoming automatic - eating just one-half. We went out to breakfast this morning. We used to do that at least once a week, but because we want to eat food that is better for us, and save our money for more exciting things, we haven't been eating out much at all.

This morning I ordered my favorite menu item at Oaks, a funky restaurant in Cave Creek, a town near us. My favorite is called the country scrambler. It's scrambled eggs with sausage cooked in it. It also comes with fried potatoes and pancakes. Now, fried potatoes in the morning have never been high on my list of things I can't give up. Maybe latkes with applesauce would be hard to pass up, but these don't come close to latkes. Pancakes, on the other hand, do make a lot of sense to me in the morning, especially on weekend mornings. The waitress brought me two pecan pancakes.

What I noticed this morning and am noticing more and more is that I didn't want more than half of the egg/sausage mixture and I didn't want more than one pancake, and I didn't want any of the potatoes. This is a huge change for me, because I used to think I was just going to eat half and then I would find myself cleaning my plate.

What happened? Why is it so much more automatic now? Two things...practice, practice, practice, and hypnosis. I have been working with Jennifer Scott, a Licensed Clinical Hypnotherapist, throughout my weight loss journey. I will be writing more about my work with her, but for now I just want to say that I know that the hypnosis has helped me a lot in this process.

And, I want thank one of my friends who responded to my plea for help in regard to NHS, my night hunger syndrome. She suggested chewing a piece of sugarless gum when the hunger pains strike. I tried it last night. It worked instantly and I never woke up hungry during the night. As I wrote her this morning, the challenge will be to remember to remove the gum before I fall asleep :).

Sweet dreams tonight for all.

213.2 Big Thighs, and Night Hunger

When it rains, it pours. More good news! I have big thighs. In an article in the L.A. Times it was stated that big thighs may benefit the heart! Now I know why I was blessed with cankles. (See my blog posted on August 15th.) Think about it... Is it possible to have cankles and thin thighs? Maybe I am wrong on this point, but I am having a problem imagining that combination. (The good news is that if you have thin thighs, you can bulk them up with exercise and share in the benefit.)

My weight went up today and I am ballistic about it. I am a Chico's shopper now so it needs to go down, not up. The pants aren't so roomy that I can ignore this one day trend. I did have a shrimp and scallop vegee stir fry for dinner and want to blame the salt in the recipe for the gain. But I just went back to my food log and there wasn't a trend toward weight gain as the result of eating that same stir fry. Could the big spoonful of peanut butter at 10 pm have played into it? Well, as one of my followers would say, "DUH! It probably didn't help." I have been struggling with feeling very hungry at about 10 every night, no matter what I eat for dinner. For a while I was taking an apple to bed with me (very romantic, I know) so that it was there beside me if I got hungry before sleep or during the night. Then I started taking two apples to bed, in case I should be really hungry! It's a good thing Jeff wears a sleep mask so he doesn't hear the chomping at 2 am. And why did I think that there was some magic inherent in apples that meant that the added calories wouldn't matter? Finally, I stopped that craziness and have started to go get some peanut butter when the hunger pains strike. Do any of you have, let's call it, the night hunger syndrome? How do you handle it? I am really looking for help on this.

212.4 Oh So Sweet!

A crazy day with a great outcome.... I had ordered a pair of pants online that needed altering. When I got to the shop, the alterations gal had left for the day and wasn't returning until next Tuesday, so I went back to the car with my pants in hand. I decided to head home, but as I started to pass the Chico's store in the same shopping plaza, I took a deep breath and pulled in. I had been in Chico's in early July and nothing fit me, so I was very unsure what the outcome of this foray into regular sizes would be. An hour later, I walked out with a pair of pants, a shirt and 3 jackets! I haven't been able to wear anything but plus sizes for about 15 years. So now I get to return the plus size pants and start having fun shopping! As Jackie Gleason used to say, "How sweet it is!"

212.4 More Than Weight Loss

About four years ago I was coping with the aftermath of my spinal fusion surgery, had had to give up my job at Wellesley College and needed something to get me out of my poor me mode. So, I started volunteering in an English as a Second Language program in Massachusetts. I remember working with two adults from China who were in their 50's! Can you imagine learning Chinese at that age? For them, making the th sound was near to impossible, and think how many words in English contain that sound.

When we moved to Arizona, I was able to start tutoring ESL at a local community college. It's called Paradise Valley Community College. I just love that name. Anyway, today was my first day back since the middle of May and it was glorious. To be able to help adults who really want to succeed in the U.S. through learning English is so exciting. There were about 12 students who came today, from Taiwan, Viet Nam. Venezuela, Iran, Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Uruguay. There were young mothers, grandmothers, students, former teachers, an amazing array of folks who were united in wanting to improve their lives and those of their family members.

The blog that started out to be mainly about weight loss has taken on a life of its own and has become bigger than I ever dreamed that day when I published that first blog. What I have come to realize that life is not just about one thing. I can still work on losing weight while doing other things that add value to my life. When I decided to get involved in ESL, it was a way for me to give back. What I have come to understand is that I have received so much inspiration from the students' stories of perseverence, overcoming unbelievable hardships, and their willingness to do the work no matter what their ages to live better lives here in the U.S.

213.2 Willie Nelson and Me

I just came in from my walk this morning. I may Tweet Willie Nelson to thank him for helping to make my walks so much fun. I know all the words to "City of New Orleans" now, so if he needs a new backup singer...

It came in the mail just before the trip to Memphis. I knew what it was the moment I saw the box. It was that stupid cane with the attached seat that I ordered to take with me on our trip to Italy. I am not sure why I have been so negative about it. Had I taken it with me to Memphis, I might have avoided all the recent problems. I unpacked it and sat on it and put it away. And, I have referred to it as my stupid cane.

But, today I have decided to rechristen it my smart cane, but I think I will call it Willie Nelson for short. This cane is going to make sightseeing a lot more fun. With my more appreciative eyes, I see that it is quite a wonderful invention. I can use it as a regular cane, but when I need to sit rather than stand for a while, I can just flip down the seat and my back will smile! (See photo below.)

We are starting to set aside some of the things we are taking on the trip. Along with my camera, a map of Tuscany, and my spy technology passport/credit card holder, awaits Willie Nelson. I have a hunch we are going to be best friends.

Willie Nelson and Me!

214.2 Getting Back on Track

If you've been paying attention to my weight over the past few days, you will see that it has gone up. Yes, I'm aware of it and definitely not happy about it, but I am trying to stay calm, cool, and collected about it. I haven't been bingeing (or binging), and haven't thrown in the towel. What I have done is quit exercising!

Well, I didn't quit everything, but almost. I've continued to do some of my water therapy exercises in our little pool. I know, it's a rough life to have to go out and do water therapy in 90+ degree water listening to beautiful music, but someone has to do it. What I did stop doing were my morning walks. I was walking at least a half hour every morning. I usually listened to Willy Nelson singing "On the Road Again", etc., and I typically felt great doing it. I would find myself singing out loud along with the music and sometimes would seriously think I was ready to go on tour.

After listening to my inner spirit as well as my chiropractor, I decided it was time to start walking again this morning. I only walked about 10 minutes (on purpose) so as not to get my back upset again. I came home, put ice on my back for about 20 minutes, told my back how happy I was that it was feeling better, and my back has been fine all morning. I plan to go out for another 10-15 minute walk later today and then will take it to the limit tomorrow!

Yes, I am frustrated and mad and wish that my back were less of a problem than it is. But, don't we all have situations that arise that get in the way of doing a weight loss program or attaining any life goal perfectly? Letting these bumps in the road overwhelm us can be a typical response, and can lead to abandoning our goals. I know, because I have done that. Taking care of ourselves and getting back on track is the best way to overcome these unwelcome interruptions. That's what I am all about right now.