175.0 What's Eating You?

This morning I had breakfast with Jennifer Scott at the Paradise Bakery. Although we try to meet weekly there to catchup with each other, we hadn't seen each other since the day of our TV event, about 3 weeks ago, so we had lots to talk about.

Finally I admitted to her that things have been a little rough and that last night, even though I felt full after eating my dinner I wanted to eat and eat and eat. I ended up finishing off a few crackers that were in the pantry, and then ate two apples without stopping to breathe between bites. She just looked at me and calmly asked, "So what's eating you?"

I think that's an interesting play on words and a good question. I'm not sure that I know all that is eating me, but I'm thinking on it. Like everyone on this planet, I'm constantly juggling joys, challenges, opportunities, sadness and disappointments, and some times I'm better at juggling than at other times. Two apples aren't a big deal in the scheme of things, but that feeling of insatiable hunger does disturb me. Jennifer asked me if I had experienced that feeling before I lost all of the weight, and I responded that I was in that state a lot of the time and just ate. I didn't try to fight it and I just medicated myself with food, as needed. So now I'm aware and conscious of when I move into those times when I just want to drown in food.

Something will always be nibbling at me. I think that's a fact of life. I just have to be aware so that I don't nibble back unconsciously to the point where I lose control.