213.2 Being Involved

This morning I went back to the chiropractor again. I have been going a lot lately, ever since my trip to Memphis. My back has been paying me back for standing too much, too long, and other things I can't identify, but things that my back did not like very much. My back not only has to support me and all that I do, it also has a lot of pessure on it because I am taking it to Italy with me in about two weeks. I want to take a healthy back with me.

A couple of days ago I wrote about getting help to move forward. I thought I was getting help because I was going through the motions of massage therapy and chiropractic adjustments. I was expecting that presenting myself for care would mean the magic cure. There's that word magic again. It was pointed out to me by my husband that I wasn't investing the time with my chiropractor to try to learn all I could about how to care for my back. I needed more specific information and to get that I had to ask very specific questions. So this morning I went armed with information about exactly what was going on with my back, along with questions to which I needed clear answers. He changed his treatment because of the information I gave him and I have changed my home routine because of the answers he gave me. So, I am filled with hope that within a few days, my back will be ready to go to Italy. Cures are never a matter of magic. They are the consequence of involvement with the process, especially on the part of the patient.

212.6 Gimmicks vs Good Choices

Now I know .2 of a pound is not a big deal, usually, but today it is because it represents a new all time low over the past 10 years. This morning I had moment of revisiting some of my "lose weight fast" diets. Had they worked, I wouldn't be sitting here today writing this blog. I can't remember if I have already fessed up to the fact that I have lost 50 pounds twice - twice - but couldn't/didn't keep the weight off.

I am on Twitter now and I am baffled by a lot of what goes on there. Here's an example: In my profile, I mention that I am on a slow and steady weight loss journey. Does that not imply that I am not interested in quick weight loss products, diet plans, etc. ? I have attracted followers to my Twitter site who seemingly spend all their time promoting products and gimmicks. This time around I am not interested in products and gimmicks. Learning to accept my body as it changes with the weight loss is work. I think that's kind of crazy, but true. Taking the time to adjust my self image as I lose the weight will mean that when I reach my goal, I will be on board both physically and mentally. And I will have taught myself new habits that will last a lifetime.

But there are a few things I can do to move this process on that make sense to me. In terms of what I choose to eat, eating high fiber foods really helps. This morning was a big deal... pancakes! These were not my favorite recipe, "Oh, Boy Pancakes", or Aunt Jemima pancakes, or Jiffy pancakes. These were Fiber One pancakes, and they were delicious! I added some fresh blueberries and thought I had died and gone to heaven. I ate about half of the recommended serving and that was plenty. It's kind of funny because I had that box of mix for several months, and I was afraid to use it, afraid that it would not taste good, and afraid of what the high fiber results might be. So far, so good!

Be conscious about what you are eating and when a choice is available, opt for the high fiber food. If you aren't already, you'll be amazed at the wide range of fiber content in various fruits and vegetables. Breads and cereals are also great sources of fiber, but not all are equally blessed. Remember when you were a little kid and you would read whatever was on the cereal box while you were eating breakfast? Now I read the cereal box for the nutrition info with special attention to the fiber content and amount of protein. And, I drink water like there's no tomorrow!

213.2 Moving Forward With Help

I've been watching TV, watching all the events surrounding the death of Ted Kennedy. As you may know, I lived in Massachusetts for about 35 years and even though I had never seen Ted Kennedy in person, there has been a connection between us. I haven't always agreed with his politics, but I really liked the man that emerged over the years.

What I heard this morning during the funeral service were stories about how he fell and then picked himself up and moved forward...not without pain, sadness, guilt, and humiliation, but he moved forward. He moved forward with the help of others.

This morning I was out walking and was enjoying the site and sound of about 10-12 cyclists riding in a pack, their bikes making that very special whrrr as they moved in tandem. All of a sudden, two of the cyclists collided and the sound was horrific. I turned to see what had happened. I slowed my pace and was about to walk across the street to see if there was any way I could be of help. Instead of my helping them, they helped me, as did the speeches of the funeral service. I saw the two cyclists get up, pick their bikes up and check themselves out to see how badly they were hurt. The other cyclists returned to help out. Yes, some damage had been done to their bodies, but with the help of others they were able to continue.

Why am I writing this? It seems to me that life is all about resilience - to not let a "bad fall" ruin your goals. I was especially touched by Ted Kennedy's son, Ted, Jr. His remarks about trying to get up an icy hill after losing his leg to cancer at age 12 were very touching. He talked about how his father assured him that he would help him get up that hill so they could sled down, even if it took all day. His father told him he knew he could do it.

Do you have someone in your life who will help you keep moving forward? If so, engage that person in your quest. If not, find someone you can be honest with and will assure you that you can do it. I have a couple people who continually encourage me to get up, to keep moving forward on this weight loss/life journey, and for that I am extremely grateful.

212.8 Ch-Ch-Ch-Changing!

Whoa! I am down almost two and a half pounds from yesterday. I thought about calling the dentist first thing this morning to see if he could fit me in today so I could lose another couple of pounds. On second thought, I realized that that's a very expensive and painful way to lose weight.

I don't know why I had such a big drop since yesterday, but my hunch is that it is in part the result of my changing how I am thinking about making this process work for me. Until a couple of days ago when I weighed myself every morning, it was all about how much I had lost or gained since the day before. I have the goal of eventually weighing 170, so it has been the big picture vs. every pound along the way. Now I am focusing on a short term goals! Since we are leaving for Italy in a little more than two weeks, a couple of days ago when I weighed between 215 and 216, I decided that I wanted to weigh 210 before we left. I enlisted my sub-conscious mind to help me reach that goal. As I am moving through life, now more than ever, I have been trying to be more open than I have ever been to new ideas and practices, and my life is changing for the better. There are many books on the market about using your sub-conscious mind to help you live your life. One that I particularly like is called The Power of Your Sub-Conscious Mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. It was written many years ago and it's the kind of book that can overwhelm you at first. I gave a copy to each of my kids with the caveat that they take from it what feels comfortable and let the rest go. If you decide to take a look at it, I advise the same for you. The reason I am writing this is because once I decided to set a short term goal, I closed my eyes and "talked" to my subconscious mind about it. The next morning, upon awakening, there was the immediate thought of 210. I could see the numbers as if I were looking down at my scale. And now I am confident that I will be at 210 or even lower when I leave for Italy. So, especially for those of you who want to lose a lot of weight, think about setting a series of 5 pound goals to reach in 2 to 4 week periods, and see if that doesn't help you with your weight loss. And don't forget to ask your sub-conscious mind to be a part of the process. It can't hurt and might really help.

215.2 Writing Your Story

I just returned from the dentist. He's making a crown to replace an old filling. Funny, I don't feel especially royal today. But my mouth feels very odd, and I have no wish to eat. And, my back was killing me when I went into his office, but after laying in the chair tilted back so far I was almost on my head, it feels much better. Is there a two for one offer here...I can lose my appetite, and have my back feel much better in one visit?

I was talking to my daughter Miranda yesterday about the blog and she reminded me that I haven't talked about everything I do to make this process work for me. And, she is right! I have tried to not to write about everything I do all at once, on purpose. If I had started with a list of must do items, I am afraid I would have turned you off early on. But this tool is very important to me, and I think that you may find it very helpful if you are willing to try to do it. I will say at the start, I was not willing...to journal. I thought I didn't have time, didn't know what I would say, had fears that "people" might find it and read it, knew I shouldn't complain (wonder who I learned that from?), and, well, it seemed self indulgent. Now, I do it every night, and have been doing it faithfully since I began this journey in mid April. So what do I write? I let it all out - the joys, how good I felt about losing whatever I lost, the frustrations about regaining a pound or two, what I wanted to eat, when I wanted to drink wine, what I did that day, what I planned to do the next day, some goals I want to set, and on and on. I write it as if I am talking to my best friend or confidante, or myself. The language can be raw, the tone reflecting whatever I am feeling. And, the best part is that I feel much better after I get it out. I even print out what I write and have kept these daily records of my life. As you can see, it's not all about weight loss either. I write about memories that crop up during the day, new ideas that I am thinking about, and so forth. It does take discipline to sit down and do it, but the story of your life is as important as any one's story. So, give it a try and see if you don't get to know yourself a little better for doing it. That's how blogs get started! :)

215.0 Magic!

The Boys - Lennox, Alex, and Julien

Since I started writing this blog, one of the great things that has happened is that I have heard from friends with whom I have never talked about weight loss, or weight gain, or weight!

One of my friends, Barbara, was a roommate at UCLA. She was slender then and I was, too, on and off! I remember borrowing some of her clothes and they fit me just fine - well, often a little short, but just fine. So, what happened during the intervening years? She stayed slender, and I didn't. She has always looked the same whenever I have seen her over that past 40+ years. I never asked her about it. I assumed she had tapped into some kind of magic...that she wished herself slim and that was that. I also decided, in my wisdom, that she had been blessed with a much more finely tuned metabolism rate, one that I could never aspire to.

About a week ago, we were talking on the phone about this blog and she began to tell me all the things she has done over the years to keep herself slender and healthy. I was blown away. Hadn't it been easy for her, like magic, to maintain her weight? Hm, not exactly! I thought weighing every morning was excessive. She weighs herself before meals to determine how much and what she will eat. She walks on the beach 5 miles every morning. I know she does this, because she will often call me while walking. And, she has learned all she can about food, weight loss, and health. There has been no magic involved, no special edge that I didn't/don't have. Well, maybe that's not totally true. I do have back crap that has led to pain that has impeded the amount and type of exercise I can do. But would I have had so many back problems if I had kept my weight down? Could I have prevented some if not all of my back issues? What I know now for sure is that my weight has not helped my back at all.

She sent me a website to share with you. It's is a concise and helpful list of things we can all do to improve our health, and help with weight loss. If you read Prevention Magazine, perhaps you've seen it. Check it out on the right in the list of links. And, thanks, Barb.

216.0 Small Things Add Up

I love getting on the scale and seeing downward progress, so today is starting out to be a good day. By the way, while writing about baby steps yesterday, I was remembering how far a toddler can go taking baby steps, especially if no one is watching. Let's hear it for baby steps.

But I am frustrated and I am blogging about it instead of stuffing my face. Actually, having just returned from our trip to Memphis, I don't have much in the house to stuff with. A few blogs ago, I wrote about quieting down and listening to my inner spirit. I did that late last night and, as usual, received wise counsel. It seems that I have moved into a maintenance mode, rather than weight loss mode. If I want to lose more and a little faster, I need to revisit portion size more than anything else. This morning I poured my cereal into a bowl and thought I was pouring about half of what the cereal box claims is a single portion size. Wrong! I had poured at least 3/4 of a portion size. It's a small thing to futz about, but it becomes large over time. It all adds up. Then I almost popped the amount that I had decided was too much into my mouth! OMG, unconscious eating struck again...almost. I took a deep breath, and poured the extra back into the box! Ah, now that felt good!

217.5 It's All Water!

Isn't it? I have decided that I am not fat. I have decided that I retain a lot of fluid, so much so that diuretics are helpless against the tide. Well, maybe a little of it is fat, but I kind of like the idea that I am different from most fat people, and that my weight is all about fluid. In fact I am so sure of this, that I have made a point to be very careful around people who sew or knit. If I should bump into any kind of needle, the force of the water could be disastrous. Are you buying this? I'm not either, but it was fun while I wrote it.

Today, my friend Kathleen introduced a new blog that she is writing, called Fleen Goin Green. Click on the Among the Savages link and you can read all about it. If I were better at this blogging stuff I could have copied and pasted her site within this blog, but I will learn how to do that tomorrow. And, to post pictures. But anyway, the thing that caught my eye in her introduction to going green, was about taking baby steps. First of all, my favorite movie is "What About Bob?" He was all about taking baby steps to become independent from his shrink, or at least that's how I remember it. If you've never seen it, rent it and laugh! And, check out Kathleen's blogs. She is my blog inspiration.

Some days when my weight goes up a little, or, here's that ugly word, plateaus, I think about some of the more radical diets I have been on, the quick weight loss diets. But then I remember that I regained the weight almost as quickly as I lost it. I believe that this is going to work as I continue to stay on track. I can do this. Just like Bob and Kathleen (Fleen), I am taking baby steps that will eventually lead me to my goal.

216.5 Going Up? Going Down?

If you are old enough, you'll remember elevator operators in department stores. In those days, it was assumed that the average American would not be able to press a button with a number on it that corresponded to the floor you wished to stop on. I can still see that uniformed man or woman asking if I were "Going down?" or "Going up?". It was a big day when we went to "the city" to shop at the City of Paris. Yes, that was the name of one of my mother's favorite department stores in San Francisco. We would drive the 30 miles from my hometown of Palo Alto once or twice a year to shop there. Oh, and to use the gold fixtures in the women's rest rooms. Maybe one of my sisters will remind me what that was all about!

If you are tracking my weight, you'll see that it hasn't been going up or going down over the past few days. Once again, it has sort of leveled off. I am okay with that, and realize that it will continually go up a little and come down even more as I continue this process. You've heard that little quip, "Enough about me. What do you think about me?" This is about me, but I hope it is also about all of you who are trying to establish a new relationship with food. So tomorrow, will I hear that voice from my past asking if I am going up or going down? I will, because of my daily weigh in. But I am learning to appreciate that voice because I know I need to know how I am doing.

These have been wonderful days with our grandsons. Their laughter, serious questions, love of jokes, and unexpected hugs are precious gifts. We played Sardines today, and basketball, and Ants in the Pants, and read stories, and went swimming together. How much fun can one grandma have in a day? This grandma values these times more that I can say.

216.5 Keeping Up With The Boys!

It is such a change from keeping up with life in Scottsdale to keeping up with the boys here in Memphis. The boys are my grandsons, aged 8, 6, and 3! It is as if I have been moving ever since we arrived yesterday afternoon. This morning they joined us for breakfast here at the hotel and then we went to play in the park and set off the various rockets that we had brought as presents for them. The most reliable was the old-fashioned on that relied on forcing air up through a cylinder to push the rocket up into the sky by hand. The other two were touchier. The one that involved a rubber band being wound tighter and tighter basically fell apart on the first try. The most complicated rocket involved using vinegar and baking soda to cause a chemical reaction that resulted in the rocket flying at least 50 feet into the air! That was the most dramatic and was repeated many times. But what was really dramatic was the fact that I could participate because of the weight loss. I could keep up with everyone as we walked into the park and played. Nobody had to wait for me or worry about me! I was in heaven.

After lunch, while the 3 year old had his nap, we made tortillas from scratch with the older boys. Tonight we are having tacos. I can do this! I can eat a tortilla and the chicken filling and participate in this meal with everyone. I am really learning that I don’t have to deprive myself of all good things, but rather just eat less. We are going to the pool later this afternoon and I will get more exercise. Losing weight is very important to me right now, but it is not the only thing to think about. Spending time with these adorable boys is such a blessing and so much fun. I am going to focus on that most of all, while I am here.

my grandsons

216.4 The Best Laid Plans...

I am up a pound from yesterday, but I now really understand that my weight will vary a little all the time. My hunch is that because I had soup last night for dinner, the salt got me. Doesn't it seem like there is always something out there that gets in the way of weight loss? From my experience there is. But I am committed to the idea that as long as I keep my goal in mind and eat carefully, I will be okay.

Today was not one of my best days. My husband and I each made our lunches last night, and you guessed it, we left the bag on the kitchen counter as we rushed to get to the airport this morning. Once we got to our gate, my husband volunteered to go get food for us to eat on the plane. He came back with a ham and cheese sandwich on a big bun for him, and a romaine salad with chicken for me. I was so happy that he had made such a thoughtful choice for me. I slyly looked at the wrapper on his sandwich and saw that it contained 637 calories. How could he think of consuming that many calories in one meal? I was so righteous! Those of you who know me know that I can be very righteous! So, I ate my salad, carefully dipping my fork in the salad dressing and then stabbing a piece of chicken and then romaine. I ate a few of the croutons that were included. When I was finished, I turned my salad container over and saw to my horror that it contained 750 calories! This is not how I wanted to start this trip. I hadn't consumed all of the dressing or the croutons, but that wasn't much consolation.

My son has loaned me a scale that I have brought over to the hotel to use. And, instead of eating pizza with everyone tonight, I opted for salmon on a bed of romaine. Being prepared, as we tried to be by making our lunches, is great, but we also have to be able to understand that it is not going to always go smoothly. So, I will spend the next days being watchful and accept that I can have some control but not always total control. I will just have to stick with the basics of this program, knowing that I will lose the weight. Giving up or even considering quitting is not an option, but in the past, a day like today would have me planning to do just that.

215.4 ... On the Road Again

Just prior to writing my first blog, my husband and I had taken a four day trip to Flagstaff, the Grand Canyon, and Sedona to celebrate our 44th wedding anniversary. We had a great time and saw magnificent sites, but I almost wished I had jumped into the Grand Canyon when I weighed myself upon our return. I thought that I could eat more, and weigh less, and I didn't take a scale with me. Since this was a driving trip, I could have taken my steadfast scale. I didn't!

Tomorrow we leave for Memphis to visit our grandsons, our especially exceptional grandsons :), and we are flying. Packing my scale may be tricky, but I am going to try to fit it in my carry-on luggage. I don't want to come back home weighing a lot more than I do today.

And, we are going to Italy in September for 10 days! What do you think of when you think of Italy? Food! Wine! So, this trip to Memphis is going to serve as a practice trip for Italy. Besides packing my scale, I will take my other tools for staying on track. I will take my habit of writing down everything I eat. I will weigh everyday, I will stick to my exercise program in addition to all the other exercise I will get playing with the boys, I'll play the 1/2 portion size card, and I will take my inner voice (and listen to it) when I need a little nudge to get back on track.

I have also thought about channeling Elvis while I am in Memphis to see if he has any weight loss tips I can pass on to you. Like me, I am sure he turned to food to damp down a lot of emotional stuff. Elvis and I don't have a lot in common, but my hunch is that at times he medicated himself with food, as have I. And, we both suffered from depression. Shortly after our family returned to Boston from our year in California, I went into a big depression spiral... maybe because I couldn't buy wine in my grocery store? No, it was more complicated than that, and I ended up taking a lot of drugs to deal with it. My weight shot up like there was no tomorrow. Since that time, I have struggled with my weight even though I haven't been on medication for depression for many years.

Now I have some tools to help me succeed on this weight loss journey. I don't want to stay home and not travel, I want to be able to eat out occasionally, and I want to be able to participate in all that life offers me. Using the tools everyday will help me lose weight and build a healthy future.

215.4 ... Whining About Wine

Recently our wine tasting group met. I didn't go. I wanted to go because I enjoy the folks that gather at these events. And, not only is the wine good, the food that is provided by the participants is wonderful. Why didn't I go? I have learned that drinking wine isn't just about the wine. It is about what happens to all of my good intentions when I combine wine with food. Suddenly, I don't care how much I eat.

I didn't always like wine. In fact, I didn't like wine for many years and rarely drank it or any alcohol. About 20 years ago, that all changed. We left Boston for a year to live in California. In Massachusetts, you couldn't buy wine (or any alcohol) in grocery stores. You had to go to what were called package stores. California was way ahead of Massachusetts on this score. Grocery shopping became a totally different experience. I would go to the store and select whatever I was going to cook for dinner and then I would head to the wine section the chose the wine of the night. I am not sure why I suddenly developed a taste for wine, but I did. By the time our year was over, I had put on about 15 pounds. I don't think I thought too much about why I had done that. In my unique and amazing brain, which I have referred to in a previous blog, I probably attributed it to too much sunshine, or some equally preposterous cause. By the time we moved back to Boston, I was hooked.

Then about eight or nine years ago, I developed a lot of leg pain from back issues and guess what? Wine was my medication of choice. I couldn't take a lot of painkillers due to other health problems, so as it approached 5 PM every evening, I knew my fix was at hand. I did have some control. I rarely had more than two hefty glasses each night. Three was my limit. But do the math! A hefty (do you like that word used here?) glass of wine can contain up to 150+ calories, and I was drinking more than one! No wonder my weight went up.

So, when I decided to seriously undertake this weight loss program, I knew I had to let go of the wine. It wasn't easy at first. I was like a smoker giving up cigarettes. You want to talk about irritable, grouchy, and my husband has a few more adjectives to use to describe my behavior, I was that and more. But I did it, and after about 2-3 weeks, I was no longer obsessed every night about NOT DRINKING WINE. In fact, now I rarely think about it. Oh, occasionally, I will whine about not drinking wine, but I think it was a necessary change to make.

216.0 ... Staring Back at Myself

I've just finished talking to a friend on the phone about weight and eating! She admitted that she eats out of boredom. As I told her, I probably put on 20 of my magnificent pounds by eating out of boredom. It's a common reason and you've probably done that once or twice yourself. I have had to give up eating out of boredom. Now I prefer eating out of a bowl!

Seriously, I have had to give up eating out of boredom because it is way too scary. Scary? Well, I went through some old photos of me taken when I was in my hay day of weight gain. They were hard to find because I tend to delete any photo that doesn't fit the image that I have of myself on that particular day. But I did find a few, and they are now hanging either in the refrigerator or in the pantry. You know how you just happen to open the refrigerator door to see if the contents have changed since you opened it 10 minutes earlier? Now every time I open our refrigerator door this really familiar fat lady looks me right in the eye and says, "Forget it. Don't even think about it. The apples are on the counter, not in here." I quickly shut the door.

So then I turn to the pantry door and gear up my courage to open that door. There she is again, in a different outfit, but still as heavy as the refrigerator lady. She gives me the same chilling look and reminds me that I need to forget about the pantry as a place of solace or escape from boredom. In the pantry there are also pictures of another somewhat familiar person who is more slender, smiling back at me. She encourages me to listen to the fat lady and I back out and shut the door. She is, of course, me when I was slender.

When it was suggested to me that I do this, I wasn't sure that I wanted to confront my fat self that frequently. It is easier to have delusions of slender than to confront reality. But confronting reality is the best way to make changes and get on with life, so I am using these visions of my past to motivate me and help me stay with the process.

217.4... When Less is More and More is Less

Can I quit now? My husband calls this territory I am in “a plateau”. I call it hell. It seems to me that I have been doing what I need to do to lose weight, but this blogger is not losing! Being on a plateau is not new for me. I have plateaued on and off all of my life while dieting. I have never been on a plateau that I really like. In the past, finding myself on a plateau was a good reason to quit trying to lose weight. Not this time, though. It is making me more determined.

When is less more? It’s when I eat less, pure and simple. By doing that, I will weigh less. I’ll still eat what I want to, as long as it is healthy, appealing to me, and my portion size is about half of what I used to eat.

Everything else is about more being less, as in helping me to weigh less. Exercising more is the first thing I need to do. I have never loved exercise. My new son-in-law loves to exercise. I didn’t get that gene. I think I had to choose between the exercise gene and the one for cankles, but that was a long time ago and I can’t remember exactly what happened.

Drinking more water also falls under the category of when more is less. More water means less room for food and it also get things flowing through my body and this is good. It encourages cleaning out the whole system. I need to do this everyday, not just at spring-cleaning time, or when we move.

And something else comes to mind as I think about when more is less. Do you have an inner spirit or inner voice that helps you when you get off the track in life? Listening to my inner voice more often will help me weigh less in the long run. Today I spent some time calming down to simply listen, and boy, did my inner voice let me know what was up. Here are some of the things I heard: that my portion sizes are getting larger rather than smaller, that just because I am eating something that is healthy and lower in calories, e.g., gazpacho, eating enough for a family of five in one sitting is not helpful, that I need to take the exercise part of this process to a new level, and here’s the part I liked the best, “to love myself, be patient, and be wise”.

The next few days will be spent following the advice of my inner voice. I‘ll also be getting ready visit my especially extraordinary grandsons this weekend. Being able to have fun and be active with them is a huge motivation to get this weight off.

216.4...Cankles, anyone?

Do you have cankles, as in chubby ankles? Well, I do. I was born with cankles. All babies have cankles at birth or soon after, but I never outgrew my cankles. The Today Show did a featured piece on cankles about a week ago and I just can’t get over it! They showed pictures, talked about what not to wear if you have cankles, and then had the gall to say there is nothing you can do about cankles. I knew that. All cankle owners know that. So why did they talk about cankles? I like The Today Show, but don’t understand why they made a big deal out of cankles. My cankles can’t be changed or removed so what was the point? It has made me realize that we can change a lot of things about ourselves with surgery, hair color, make-up, and diet, but not cankles! I am really envious of women, including heavy women, who have beautiful legs and ankles. They can wear capris, skirts, dresses and look lovely. Cankleites were warned on The Today Show to never wear those things. Oh, and shoes with ankle straps. As if we would! Cankleites are filled with fashion sense, and dream of what they would look like without their cankles.

Now the good news is that as I lose weight my cankles will be a little less eye catching, especially if I wear my pants as long as possible. And, that isn’t always easy since I am 5'10” tall. Well, maybe 5'9” since my back surgeries. That's another topic I may address, since I am the Queen of Stenosis!

My scale and I are back on speaking terms. I am off to take a long walk, cankles and all, and will do my water workout later. Exercise is a part of this process and anything that gets you moving is the way to go, I mean, the weigh to go.

Check out my new recipes and ideas section on the right. I have added the skinny soup recipe, a great article on weight loss strategies that one of my daughters sent me, and a link to another blog written by my friend Kathleen. Kathleen, like some of you, has a weight goal much closer to her present weight than I do. She’s the mother of 3 little boys and loves to write about the ups and downs of living Among the Savages! Enjoy.

217...scale lag hits full force!

Even though I can explain it away, scale lag hit me like a tornado. I was so happy to see the 215 numbers (I know, 215.8), but it sort of knocked me over when I saw it jump back up. This is the hardest part of this process, the rock and roll to weight loss. It is not a straight line down and I wish it was. I know, "If wishes were horses...."

I just had a " just say no" moment. My dear husband suggested we go out to eat tonight. The old Sue would have agreed immediately and I would have started thinking about where we'd go, what I would order, what wonderful item I deserved or hadn't had in a long time, and so on. Is this ringing any bells with you? Instead I just said no, but thank you. And, I really didn't want to go out...again so soon. I really want this weight to come off and so staying out of restaurants is one good way for me to see this happen.

This has been a crazy day. It's been gray off and on which may be the cause of some of the craziness. My chiropractor said he loves gray days because it reminds him of growing up in northern Germany. Well, I grew up in sunny California and have never adjusted to gray and humid, even after living in muggy Michigan!

So let's talk about flatbread. I never dreamed I would blog about flatbread, but here goes. The brand I like is called Flatout! Very cute, yes? And, I did get it at Costco. Another bread I really like, but it is not as flat as flatbread, is Ezekiel Bread. It comes in several flavors. I searched high and low for this bread and finally found it in the freezer section at my grocery store. You don't want to buy it if it isn't frozen. Warning: always toast Ezekiel bread. You will think I am out of my mind if you try to make a sandwich-oops-half a sandwich with it untoasted. The thing about both these breads is that they are high in protein. My thing about food is the higher the protein and the lower the fat and sugar, the healthier it probably is. And, protein keeps me from going totally round the bend and bingeing. (My spellcheck spells it binging, hmm.) And, that is not a pretty sight, or is it site?

I have just posted my first recipe and it looks like it is delicious. My wonderful sister, who has managed to maintain her weight for eons, sent it to me after reading that I had turned to day old chicken and flatbread when staving in the middle of the afternoon recently. She is a great cook, so try this recipe, and let me know if you like it, too.

What's my dear friend the scale going to say tomorrow? Sometimes I feel like throwing my compass out the window. (I'm referring to my lecture on why to weigh everyday that appeared in my second blog...probably not my finest hour!) Maybe I am the fickle lover. I hope you are hanging in with me.

215.8 ...the morning after!

I staggered out of bed even though it was already 7:30, and got all dolled up in my weigh in outfit and there it was! 215.8! I know, I know, .2 of a pound shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is the 215 in front of the .8 that got my attention. I have been waiting for that number for a while now! I thought it would never show up. I remember making the commitment to this weight loss program and then thinking about all the reasons it wouldn't work. And I weighed 237 that day. So to see 215 is amazing! Duh! This program is working!

Now for the bad news...scale lag. I hate scale lag almost as much as jet lag. I did eat out last night and I have to gird my loins (where did that come from?) for the impending scale lag. But I had the best halibut of my life last night and did only eat half. Since we moved out here from the Boston area ordering fish at any restaurant is such a crap shoot. The ocean is not at the end of the block so where does the "fresh fish" come from? I don't know, but I will go back to Durant's for halibut. It was the 1/2 of a large baked potato that is going to get me. Do I need to mention the sour cream and chives that jumped on top? Why did I agree to any potato, no matter how it was prepared? Probably because I am not perfect and thought that since I didn't order the filet mignon that really sounded good, I should have a little potato...all right, a big potato! Does your mind ever work like that? Sometimes, I simply amaze myself when I give my brain free reign or should I say free range? Anyway, as I wrote yesterday, going out is a big challenge for me, but not one I am willing to give up.

This morning was a little disarming in another way. I opened the door to let the dog out and smelled rain. You don't smell rain in Scottsdale in the morning very often. There are those who celebrate the rain out here. As for me, my heart sinks and I have to do some major attitude adjustment. I hate rain, I hate overcast, I hate gray! And, it is still muggy, wet and gray outside. Since I don't want to eat for comfort, I think I will work on my jewelry.

Have a great day and hope you are enjoying the journey so far. Let me know if you are on board with your weigh in outfit and scale. I love company!

216...new territory!

It feels so good to hit a new low, but OMG I still weigh 216 pounds! Should I be smiling? I think it is hard to acknowledge that I weigh this much, especially after losing 20 pounds. Egads, what was I thinking weighing so much! I wasn't thinking. I was too busy eating and drinking wine!

I was out most of the day and came in starving. I have become a big fan of this new flat bread that Costco sells that is high in protein. So, I had half a slice with some day old chicken. Now it is almost 4:30 and we are going out to dinner with friends. Ah, the challenges. But I can't just stop going out. I will play the "eat one half" card so I can have what looks good on the menu but not go crazy. I will also ask for the take home container first thing so I don't pick at that other half. Have you ever done that? You look down and the half you weren't going to eat has somehow disappeared.

It has been a great day. My hair stylist commented on how much thinner I looked and then complained about the 10 pounds she has trouble keeping off. I am blown away that she is worried about ten pounds, but then I realized that it is not about how much you want to lose. It is about how comfortable you feel weighing what you weigh. So even though I have a lot to lose and that's putting it kindly, I hope that anyone who wants to lose even a small amount will want to read my blog.

217.0...weigh to lose!

Well, I just saw a dog that was as big as a horse! I am out walking and recording this on my iphone! But back to the blog. If you look at the title of today's blog you will see that I think weighing every day is an important key to the success of this journey. Think of your scale as a compass to help you stay on the right path for this journey. If you are out hiking, you check your compass frequently to make sure you are headed in the right direction. If you get off track, you have to know where you are in order to make adjustments to get back on the right path. And, it is better to know asap that you are not where you thought you were or you can get really lost, and in the case of weight loss, getting really lost can cause you to give up.

I just bought a new scale. You have to love your scale. My previous scale was like a fickle lover. I would get on and see my weight. And then I would get off and on again, just to make sure! Well, that scale could jump around like a leapin' lizard. Up a pound, down 2 pounds, up a half a pound and so on. I now have a scale that values steadfastness! It doesn't change! I also have my weigh in outfit. You can wear whatever you want when you weigh yourself. Your birthday suit is a great choice. It doesn't matter what you are wearing, (the scale fashionista are not on duty) just so you wear the same thing everyday. And weigh first thing (after you pee) in the morning, and you will be set for the day. Another thing about weighing everyday...as some of you know, scales like to report what you did a couple of days ago as well as what you ate yesterday. As you might have noticed, my weight is up today! And, no, I can't tell you exactly why. However, a couple of days ago, I went to Costco and someone was handing me food at the end of every aisle. I think the bites added up (hello! I know they added up!) and as you know, everything you put in your mouth is reflected on your scale.

If you have read carefully so far, and I hope you have, I have not used the word diet to describe what I am doing. This is not a diet. Rather it is a way to change how you view food and that new view will be with you for the rest of your life. More about that tomorrow. I am purposefully not bombarding you with every aspect of this weight loss program at once. Each day I will be adding more information and soon you will know what I know. In the meantime, think before you put anything in your mouth. Stay conscious, stay present, and decide if you really want that bite before you eat it. How are you doing?

#lbs(216.4) and so it goes...off!

August 10th, my first posting!

I am 66 and have been gaining and losing weight for what seems like forever. Why don't I just stay fat and enjoy my remaining years, overeating and not paying attention to what this extra weight is doing to my body and spirit? I don't feel 66 and look forward to continuing to experience life to the fullest. Traveling, playing with my grandsons, trying new things and staying healthy will be more fun and easier for me to do if I am not lugging around these 45 pounds that I want to lose starting today.

So stick with me, comment, please, and join me in this adventure. Besides losing weight, I look forward to forming a community of people who understand the benefits of losing slowly for the long haul. There is much research out there that shows that losing weight slowly makes keeping the weight off much easier. I could write a book on quick weight loss and regaining it in the blink of an eye, and I know many of you could, too.

More tomorrow.