195.2 So What's Going On?

I don't usually write that I liked a particular posting, but I did like yesterday's post. You know, when I sit down to write one of these posts for this blog, I often don't have any idea what I will write about. Oh, I knew that I would write about my first experience on the elliptical. And, I knew that I would write about my cankles. (Wow, that was a long time ago!) And I knew that I would write about reaching the 200 pound mark. But usually, I sit at the computer and ask my inner spirit to guide me, and then wait to see what my fingers type. It is very cool when it happens like that. That's what happened yesterday.

Today I know what I want to write about. It's that emotional piece that was driving most of my eating either too much food or junk food, unhealthy food. You've probably known people who are always taking weight off and then putting it back on. Yeah, I was one of those people for a large part of my life. Oprah is someone else that has publicly experienced that phenomenom. When I lost weight in the past, and I think they could build a life size replica of the Taj Mahal out of the the weight I have lost, I never did the work, the emotional work that would have helped me understand why I was eating out of control. My work with Jennifer has focused on that in a large part. If you have someone or can find someone to help you understand how your emotions play into what and how much you eat, I encourage to work with them. And if you aren't comfortable doing that, I encourage you to write, to journal everyday. Write about you and food: why you eat what you do, when do you eat, why are you eating, are you celebrating or dealing with stress and/or anxiety, what's going on in your life that's playing into your decisions around food. Basically think about the reasons that you use food that have nothing to do with nutrition. Once you get a clear picture of what is going on between you and food, you can then think about making changes. Try it and see what you learn about yourself. That knowledge should also really help keep the weight off once you have lost it. I am counting on that!

197.0 No Longer Obese!

I think the first time I noticed the word obese being used to describe me was on a medical report before my first back surgery. I think I decided that the transcriber was confused about what the doctor had actually written, because my age was wrong, also. In the aftermath of the surgery and further medical reports, I did see that word again, but just didn't let it get to me. I probably went and had something to eat each time I read it, as a way to lessen the emotional pain of that reality.

Recently, as I have become more aware of everything, the word obese has really bothered me and I began to think of it as a very harsh, bad word. There are categories of weight ranges based on the Body Mass Index or BMI that are calculated from the height and weight of a person. Last night, I got back on my Wii Fit after having not done it for several weeks, and low and behold, I am no longer obese! The word overweight has never looked so good to me. Yes, I am overweight and now will work to get into the normal range.

Having been raised on the adage that "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me", I am here to say that words can hurt. Obese is just a word, but for me it has been a reflection of very painful self knowledge. I now feel like I have graduated and along with losing the 50 pounds, I have a second reason to be very happy.

One way I have lost the weight is to eat fish more often. Here's a great recipe that is easy and quick that can be used with any fish similar to sea bass. http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/433/Sea-Bass-With-Ginger-Sauce91805.shtml Enjoy!

199.0 Are You Sabotaging Yourself?

Things are not looking up. I still feel horrible even though I am now taking Azithromycin. I know, I know, I'm a bit impatient. I took my first dose at about 2 pm. I tried a new doctor today because I just haven't connected with the one that I usually see. Jeff highly recommended the doc he sees at this same practice. "It must be me", is what I said when I returned home. There was no connection and I don't think that I, as the sick party, should have to do all the work to get the feeling that any doctor really cares about what is going on with me.

While I was at Walgreen's waiting for my prescription, I saw that they were selling a magazine called Arthritis Today. Now I know that most of you don't have arthritis, but the magazine is full of great nutrition tips, exercises for agility, and good health information. I get the magazine delivered to me at home because I support the Arthritis Foundation. There's no surprise there, since my sister Priscilla and I have osteoarthritis and my sister Barbara has rheumatoid arthritis. Why I am writing about this? Well, there is a wonderful article on page 31 entitled "Are You Sabotaging Yourself?" I know I have done that a lot over the years. The article isn't just about weight loss. It's also about getting a new job, and/or, a new love interest. So check it out and see if some of it doesn't ring true for you. Self knowledge is crucial to changing behavior.