186.2 Christmas Memories and Tears of Happiness

I've written in the past about not being able to feel things, to not being able to respond with much emotion. Today I bawled, I sobbed, I cried, but nothing bad or sad had happened. I was listening to Here and Now on PRI and was overwhelmed with memories of things past while hearing the segment on holiday choral music. Robin Young, the anchor, had her high school choral director from many years ago on the show with his choices for best holiday choral works. He's Jewish and joked about how he's the Jew who loves Christmas music most.
http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2011/12/19/christmas-choir-music

Just hearing this music brought back so many memories of my time singing in choirs all through junior and senior high school in Palo Alto, California with our dear choir director, Marjorie Klein.

My sister Priscilla with husband Phil are here already as our family begins to gather for Christmas. As I get older, I realize that it is memories not gifts that really make Christmas special. Here we go ~ and part of that are memories of delicious foods that are special to the holiday. This year I'm into enjoying small amounts of wonderful food. I've really learned that beating myself up about what I eat isn't helpful. Being mindful and grateful is the way to go.

171.0 Christmas in February

It happens every Christmas. Family members will ask me what I want for Christmas and my mind goes blank. I really can't think of things that I want. But when I go out shopping for others, I see all sorts of things I want and buy them for myself. I don't know if this is a common response to all the glitz and exciting energy that I find in the stores or what, but those shopping hormones, as I call them, get sitrred up in me and Christmas can become more about me than others.

One of the things I bought myself just before Christmas this year was an Amaryllis bulb in a box. I didn't get it started until mid January and now it is gorgeous. Jeff always gets Paper Whites and Amaryllis plants mixed up and starts bemoaning the fact that the house will smell like urine. I do have to agree with him that I too respond to Paper Whites in that negaative way. But just look at that Amaryllis! It doesn't have a fragrance and is simply beautiful.

In the old days I used to bake a lot and buy a lot and eat a lot of sweets to please myself around Christmas. Now I'm going to buy an Amaryllis each year and watch it grow. It's a wonderful way to treat myself instead of using food to celebrate.

202.2 Welcome Back Hip Bones!

Newflash! My hip bones are re-emerging! I am not sure where they have been and what they have been up to, but I am delighted to have them back!

I also want to say that the Christmas pictures I have posted with this blog over the past few days and today were taken at the Conservatory at The Bellagio. The designs are all made from flowers. The polar bears posted today were amazing - contemplating the work that went into creating them and bringing them to life takes my breath away! I have suggested to Jeff, who is feeling a little better today, that we make the trip to The Bellagio at Christmas time an annual event. It was just so beautiful and Christmassy! (By the way, you can click on the photos to enlarge them.)