175.0 Food and Happiness

Ted at 7


My son called yesterday and was laughing about some work that he had written in school when he was about 6 or 7 years old that he had just come across as he was sifting through stuff in preparation for a yard sale. I'm so glad I saved it, and even laminated it in hopes that some day he would look back at it and smile!

He suggested that I write about this in my blog. It just about says it all when we think of how strong the connection can be between food and happiness for some of us. Here's what this adorable little guy wrote in response to the question what makes you happy: "I am happy when my mom lets me have something to eat!" And, in response to what makes you unhappy: "I'm unhappy when she doesn't!" And, by the way, I did feed him at least three times a day - I'm laughing to myself - in case you were thinking that this was some poor deprived little kid. And, yes, food still makes him very happy and he's become a wonderful chef!

Oh, and in response to what would you like to give your dad, he wrote "a corvette". His dad is still waiting! :)

188.2 Instant Gratification Leading to Long Term Regret

I just received an email from one of my readers with whom I am working on her weight loss. She wrote that she was really mad at herself because in a moment of being angry about a very poorly done repair job on the deck of her home, she ate strawberry shortcake, a lot of strawberry shortcake.

My thought is that what is really at work here is the good old instant gratification impulse that leads to long term regret, especially if the pattern becomes habitual. Part of what I write about frequently is awareness, and if we can plug in that awareness so that there is always a good strong connection, we can stop ourselves before we start to give into that detrimental instant gratification behavior. Here's an idea that might work ~ if you can link anger, sadness, all those emotions that yearn for instant gratification to make us feel better, with walking, or gardening, or shopping, or something you really enjoy doing, you'll begin to break that old pattern.

And, since you probably won't make a perfect transition to your new connection, be kind to yourself and then reaffirm what you intend to do the next time you're feeling bad. Does this make sense?

187.8 Giving Up More Than Calories

I have been thinking a lot about why weight loss and maintaining that loss is so difficult, no matter how much you want to lose weight. Here's what I've come up with. When you embark on weight loss, you have to know on a very deep level that you can never go back to old food behaviors, even though you have to have food every day.

A smoker can quit and never be tempted on a regular basis to smoke, and this goes for alcoholics and drinking, as well. They don't have to have a cigarette or a drink everyday in order to survive. But we have to eat. Also, there's a food for every season, for every reason, for every problem and for every joy. So you give up more than just calories when you embark on weight loss. You have to give up the emotional connections you have established with food. So many of us who have struggled with weight seem not to get that and think that we can eventually return to the familiar.

The most important question to answer before you start on a weight loss journey, and it is a journey, is what are you going to get out of it and how much do you want that. Then leave the notes and pictures (of you at a heavy weight) in the refrigerator and/or food cupboards to remind yourself that that is why you are not going to take that whatever...because you want something more than you want that item of food that you are reaching for. This has to be the overriding element that determines success or failure.

If you have ideas about what makes it so difficult please share them with me either through a direct email (smbmiller@cox.net) or as a comment. What do you think?