174.2 How Old is Old?

This weekend my oldest grandson Lennox is going to be 10 years old! I find that amazing, distressing, and unnerving. Obviously I adore this boy, but he simply can't be turning 10! That means that I am 10 years older than I was when he was born and that is just not possible. It also means that I might be getting old.

How old is old? I know it has a lot to your with your state of mind, but numbers are also involved. And I have a new granddaughter on the way who will arrive in June. Will her first ten years fly by as fast as Lennox's have? It is true that time does move faster as I am getting older, but now I'm ready for it all to slow down like the Merry-Go-Round as the ride is ending. But no, I don't really want the ride to end! What do I want? Plenty of time, that's all!

172.0 Back To Botox

Today I did it! I had my third series of Botox injections since 2004. So, I don't think I am over the top in regard to cosmetic improvement attempts :). My concern, however, is with the clinician who injected the Botox. She's had a lot of work done on her face and looking at her this morning made me want to shrink away from anything besides Botox.

As I explained to her, since I started on this amazing weight loss journey in which I lost 80 pounds, I know I look older, a lot older. But I'm also three years older, and at my age that accounts for some of the aging, obviously. It will take about three weeks before I notice any improvement with the lines in my forehead, especially above my eyes, and the results should last about 6 months. No, I didn't walk out of the office looking dramatically younger or different.

So we'll see if I do this again. The clinician was ready to sign me up for all sorts of more expensive, more painful treatments, but rather than doing more I may just move into accepting my aging face gracefully. Hmmm...that's a positive thought and doesn't cost a dime!

188.0 Great Shape For The Shape I'm In!

It's almost 5 pm and I have been out all day doing health related things. I started the day at the dermatologist's office and passed the total body scan with flying colors, which is really good news since I was raised in California and spent most of my childhood playing outside, and as a teenager, working on getting tan, without a drop of anything to protect my skin. I did ask my dermatologist if I could have a face free of wrinkles like she has. She is a lot younger, but did have a lot of suggestions about products and treatments that might help with the wrinkles. Out here in Scottsdale, so many doctors also sell beautifying products and treatments. Who knew you could go to a hormone specialist or gynecologist and also see a skin aesthetician, in the same office! So I learned about some alternatives to a face lift and then went off to have a hearing evaluation. And, I passed that with flying colors! Next, I went to my eye doctor's office to take the test to see if I had droopy enough eyelids so that insurance would cover the upper eyelid surgery I am seriously contemplating! And, I passed that exam, also with flying colors, meaning that I couldn't see most of the little flashing lights without my eyelids being taped open.

So I'm in great shape for the shape I'm in! I don't like to think I am too vain, but since I did lose the 60 pounds, and want to lose more, I don't want to look ten years older than I did when I was heavier. No, I would never want weight with less wrinkles, but if there are some things I can do to stave off the aging process without getting too carried away, I think I want to do them. (I have definitely decided not to have a face lift!)

I have been thinking a lot about vanity and weight and age. Here's what I've come up with ~ having a healthy body is the most important thing you can do for yourself no matter what your age, and vanity plays into how we view ourselves and our desire to look as good as possible. I know some people who as they have aged have decided that it doesn't matter what they look like or how healthy they are. Think about all those emails you've received that encourage you to eat those cookies and ice cream because you never know how long you will be here! Hello! Your chances of being here longer are going to be better if you are healthy and eat carefully, rather than if you just pig out! So a little vanity is a good thing, and a lot of emphasis on health is important no matter what our age.

186.8 Behind The Mask Of Time

Okay, I'm just putting it out there! It really did not feel great when Julien, my almost 4 year old grandson, asked me if I was old! (See post dated 3/19/10.) I tried to laugh it off, but it has hung around in my mind. In fact, I had noticed along with losing all this weight that I was gaining in wrinkles. The two are probably related. Depending on my mood, either I've been threatening to have a major face lift when I reach my weight goal of 170, or I have been more relaxed about the appearance of a large city road map all over my face and suggested just a good dose of Botox now and then may do the trick.

What's funny about wrinkles is that the wearer doesn't see them, except when looking in a mirror. Even though I'm older now, the essence of my being hasn't changed over the years. I'm still the 20 - 25 year old that I used to be experiencing the world from behind my face. And that's what I tried to explain to my grandsons after the shock of Julien's question wore off. I told them to think of my wrinkles as make-up that they may have worn as a part of a Halloween costume or for a part in a school play. Whatever they put on their faces didn't change who they were inside.

And, you know, I have to remind myself of that very idea when I see someone with more wrinkles than I have. I have to remember to look for that very special ageless being behind the mask of time.